Dumped for kissing someone else….do I contact?

[Lolololalaura]

So I am a horrible person and have made a massive mistake.

Ive been with my boyfriend 3 years. We’ve never lived together but live close by to each other. I kissed someone else and yesterday I admitted it to him by text (I’m away and that’s where it happened)

He replied “It’s over. You have no integrity. Don’t contact me again”

i haven’t been able to explain myself am I being unreasonable to want to message him today or do I literally just not contact him as requested. When people in break ups say don’t contact do they actually mean it!?

why did you even tell him

Good question! What are the circumstances of the kiss?

Perfect

What sort of kissing?

A peck on the lips or a full on french snog?

All of these "boundaries". Nothing more than a therapy buzz word that has become ridiculously overused as of late. Being willing to throw away a 3 year relationship over a one-off kiss that has been owned up and profusely apologised for makes him a bit of a drip.

He’s right to say what he said but it all depends on how hard you want to fight for him.
Fom his point of view your walking away no bother not even trying to fight for him.
How would you want him to react if it was him kissed someone?

He has boundaries, and you have no integrity.

You fucked around and found out, basically. Leave the man alone.

What’s the betting if the genders were reversed you’d be saying ewww walk.🙄

He’s got boundaries. You have already crossed one, I suggest you don’t cross another.

Why in the world did you tell him?

In his shoes, am explanation would make no difference to me so there would be no point in contacting.
Not really sure what you expected

I would message him again and keep doing so every few days

That's harassing behaviour and riding roughshod over stated boundaries. No one should advise anyone of this.

Honestly, with everything going on in the world, who on earth would get their knickers into a twist over a silly kiss (possibly drunken)

What a strange take.

you texted him you cheated? Why? And why did you cheat? Also you sound very young...
I think this one is a "live and learn" (aka FAFO). Sorry.

Would be different if it was a marriage, kids involved, or at least living together.
Now this sounds like its was pretty casual for those 3 years, not much invested.

Im interested in what you thought you would achieve by texting this to him. It sounds like unnecessary drama whilst on holiday.

And why do you need to ask if people who say no contact mean no contact? Do you not normally take adults at their word?

You sound immature OP and probably need to do a bit of work on yourself and growing up before any serious relationship.

He said this: "Don’t contact me again” so you have to do that, it's not really negotiable. Plus letting him chase you is most likely to win him back. (Still low probability IMHO.) TBH, three years in the relationship wasn't really going anywhere so probably best in the long run.

Why on earth did you admit it, unprompted? It's pretty trivial in the grand scale of things, best forgotten about.

Why did you tell him, now he’s feeling like shit too. Confessing is only done to make yourself feel better.

Do you want to explain yourself or do you really just want to make excuses for what you did? Why should he listen to those?

Some people might think that a kiss is only a kiss and can be ignored. But some people won't be able to move past it.
In my opinion, you've done wrong and I wouldn't move past it. I'd be worried about other times you'd go away on holiday or when you go out, if you could stay faithful to me. No amount of words in your explanation could explain it away and I wouldn't give the chance. Whether it was drunken or not, the sayings 'when the cat's away, the mice will play' and 'out of sight, out of mind' would play on my mind. Ultimately, that's what you've done. He trusted you and you have destroyed it by kissing someone else.

You could send a message in a week or so asking to have a chat but I wouldn't get your hopes up. He clearly has a very good idea of what he will and will not accept in a relationship and kissing someone is a hard no in his eyes.

Try and work on yourself to find out why this happened. Do you drink to the point you're not entirely sure of what you're doing, etc. Ask questions to yourself and get a good handle of who you are. Do this before you look for another relationship. Best of luck.

Oh come on, breaking up over a pash ?

He doesn't want anything more to do with you and he doesnt want to hear your excuses.

It was your choice to kiss someone else.

Its his choice to end the relationship because of it.

He has said he doesn't want you to contact him. Respect that.

If you really regretted it, I wouldn’t have told him. Leave him to calm down and he may see sense.

This is a massive pile on attacking op for telling him or treating her like she’s shagged his father & life streamed it.

OP you made a mistake you’re a human being. Give yourself a break. I hope your boyfriend comes around. Xx

I am more interested in what lead to the kiss and if there’s underlying reasons for this that indicate you aren’t attracted, happy or feel there’s something better out there.

Haven’t RTFT but the OP hasn't been back after a goady first post… I mean really?