MIL obsessed with charity shops, Aibu?

[AlwaysHopefull89]

Is it normal? Or am I just being awful?

Everything she buys my 3 year old, whether it be birthday or Christmas is from charity shops. Knickers to shoes.

She is in the same x3 local shops every day after work as she finishes at work at 12. I honestly do not mind charity shops in general as I use them myself! But it is literally EVERYTHING from there and what upsets me is the lying about it. Just because it has a ‘next’ tag on it means it’s from next when I ask ‘where is it from’? She always says ‘next’ or ‘M&S’ and rips the charity shop label off so I can’t see it before giving it to me.

what has upset me is last time she gave us bits they smelt of smoke and expected my DD to wear them.

I worry also she has an obsession with it. She never buys anything new. I know she enjoys thrifting obsessively as any toys she would buy for DD on FB marketplace for free, she would then keep at hers but would then proceed to sell them next week on FB marketplace for ££!! And not tell me ….

she is also sadly very stingy with DD. I sound awful

When I say next tag I mean the actual seen in clothes tag!

I have sadly also caught her gifting me something but it’s re-gifted from her , she just didn’t want it. Jumper and open box/ ripped perfume for example.

I love a charity shop bargain, plus the quality of older clothes is so much better.

I have never seen knickers in any charity shop.

I understand she likes a bargain too. But is it normal to her extent?

I dont think there's anything wrong with that to be honest if it's decent quality stuff. next/m&s etc, just wash it and crack on. Reusing is better for the environment.

I draw the line at stuff you dont need that's bought just because it was cheap. The amount of plastic tat we get every visit, 'it was 12 for £1 how could I say no?! Grandmas perogative' drives me up the wall

Well really , she doesn’t have to get your daughter anything . But the Christmas and birthdays I think she should buy new . Or maybe she’s skint .

Stop being so ungrateful. If you don’t want the gifts, and nor does your child, re-donate them. If the clothes smell bit just chuck them in the wash.

charity shops often work out pricier than primark these days, but it would still be incredibly rude to request she gets something new.

We’ve done that in the past @OneGiddyRubyViewerbut the amount of things that come our way! I don’t have time to ‘re donate them’ and I can’t being myself to bin them! MIL has all the time in the world

Could be a million reasons for this. Maybe her finances aren’t in good shape but she wants to contribute to get DGDs clothing. Maybe she feels like it would be silly to spend £25 on something from Next when the charity shop has items with the tag on for a fraction of the cost.

She probably lies about where it’s from because she can sense how you’d react.

You say “I sound awful”. I have to agree, to be honest.

If they are still good quality, why does it matter? It's better for the environment and not always that cheap

It’s definately not a finance issue, but thanks.

Because the stuff smells and has marks all over it!

Yeah I’d find it all a bit weird too. I think giving other people something as a gift that came from a charity shop a little bit odd, you might do it once or twice if it was something particular that you knew they’d love. But giving people random bits constantly from the charity shop… no.
I don’t think there’s much you can say though without causing unnecessary offence.

Wash them, or give them away. Not worth starting ww3 over.

My MIL does this and it f*cks me right off. She buys my DC things that are clearly from a charity shop or are in the sale in a shop but are slightly too small. I use charity shops all the time so have no issue with things from them but it grates that she buys her other grandchildren brand new things!
Last Christmas I was given a toiletry gift set with half the stuff missing and other items replaced with a different brand. It would be a relief to get nothing at all rather than some thoughtless tat I have to fake thank her for. I've taken to immediately redonating the items so I don't have to look at them and get irritated all over again.

Thanks but we don’t need any more clothes or toys for her at the moment.

Or, this top stinks of fags so she won’t be able to wear it. And hand it back to her

Another thing for me also, everything is half full or broken/ ripped. I’ve had the toiletries also. Also other grandkids of hers get new also!

I think it could be a generational thing I don’t know

Sell the stuff on vinted let your kid have the money

I should do that but I would feel a bit bad. I did do that once and she didn’t speak to me for weeks

Good idea

Pick the battle.

I think you're exaggerating. I used to volunteer in a charity shop and all clothes were cleaned first and anything stained wouldn't be sold. I think it's very unlikely that the things she'd bring you are stained and stinky. Why waste money buying new when excellent quality items are sold like-new in charity shops? Raising money for a good cause and reducing waste?

She is in the same x3 local shops every day

Sounds like a social thing, like other people go to the gym or coffee shop or whatever. Is she a bit bored and lonely, do you think?

Agree with PP: you were exaggerating about the knickers.

And that's a bad thing because? 😉

Broken or stinking things of course are inappropriate

However, lots of people get eco anxiety about gifts and love being green. I'd be very happy with second hand (not smelly, decent quality) gifts. I don't think she sounds stingy I think it sounds like she gives your dd lots.