Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

336 replies

HeatingFiddler · 29/06/2025 08:03

Yesterday at my local coffee shop/bakery I had my pastry on a tray on the counter and was waiting for my coffee. In front of me was a mum with two kids.

One of the kids was fairly young and kept touching everything including glass cabinets, tables, chairs, the self-serve cutlery. She also kept putting her fingers in her mouth and hair. As kids do.

Anyway. She suddenly grabbed my pastry! I shrieked (probably an over reaction, but god the child has literally just shove her fingers in her mouth moments before). Kids mum turned around and asked what the problem was. I said that her child had just touched my pastry, after putting her fingers in her mouth.
And she said, ‘oh. Kids will be kids. I’m sure it’s fine.’

Obviously, I said, ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’

She said ‘if it’s that big of an issue I’m sure you can ask the staff for a new one.’

At this point a member of staff arrived. I explained the situation and said, ‘I don’t think a replacement should come from you. This happened because the child was not being supervised. The child’s mother should pay.’

Anyway, in the end the child’s mother agreed to pay and she took the one her child had touched and they ate it and then left.

Was I being unreasonable to say the mother should pay and to refuse to eat the pastry after that? I genuinely don’t think The coffee shop should have had to front a replacement either - it wasn’t their error!

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 29/06/2025 08:04

YANBU. Hopefully she will watch her child more attentively next time.

Moonnstars · 29/06/2025 08:06

YANBU. If she knows 'kids will be kids' then she should be watching hers more carefully. I hope she actually paid for two pastries considering you said she took the one the child had touched and not just paid for yours.

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:07

YANBU. Why would anyone want to eat her child’s saliva, the deluded fool. Well done!

Tontostitis · 29/06/2025 08:07

I think you were absolutely within your rights to ask the mother to pay for a new one. Years ago I banged on someone's door and demanded 50p for a new donut as their super reactive dog terrified my son into dropping his. Looking back in pretty sure it was exhaustion and pmt but I got the 50p. 😂

ruralmural · 29/06/2025 08:08

Tontostitis · 29/06/2025 08:07

I think you were absolutely within your rights to ask the mother to pay for a new one. Years ago I banged on someone's door and demanded 50p for a new donut as their super reactive dog terrified my son into dropping his. Looking back in pretty sure it was exhaustion and pmt but I got the 50p. 😂

No, op still pays for her one.

Littlecaf · 29/06/2025 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BedChem · 29/06/2025 08:10

This actually happened...?

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:10

ruralmural · 29/06/2025 08:08

No, op still pays for her one.

Yes, but the child’s mum had to pay for the replacement, and rightly so.

FastFood · 29/06/2025 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes, articulate people do exist.

Not everyone is a wet lettuce.

Baggingarea · 29/06/2025 08:16

I have a germy toddler and agree she should have offered to pay! I dont know if i would have pressed the issue however.

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

x2boys · 29/06/2025 08:20

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

Would you want to eat a pastry that had been grabbed by someone else's small child?

BallerinaRadio · 29/06/2025 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It was the shrieking that got me

HeatingFiddler · 29/06/2025 08:26

I love the assumption that because we were both polite and articulate that it can’t have happened. Even when annoyed, being polite and articulate is still possible!

Being annoyed doesn’t give you the right to yell at people or be aggressive.

Yes I shrieked, most people probably would if a child that had just had their fingers in their mouth grabbed food that they had paid for!

OP posts:
Highsmithery · 29/06/2025 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What spur of the moment statement? What are you on about?

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

Fernie6491 · 29/06/2025 08:32

Not quite the same, but in our local Co-op a couple of years ago, all the pastries were in uncovered baskets at waist-level, where anyone (children especially), could touch, cough or sneeze over them. I contacted the head office to suggest transparent covers, for hygiene reasons.
Despite them responding, nothing has ever changed. I absolutely refuse to ever buy anything from those shelves. It's quite disgusting!

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:34

CreteBound · 29/06/2025 08:16

Child was being a brat but what did you think would happen to you if you ate the pastry?

Would you eat food that had been dropped in pubes? After all nothing is going to happen to you, will it? Just dust off the pubes and eat the cake.

nomas · 29/06/2025 08:35

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

Agreed. Many MNers seem to think any basic interaction is a terrible confrontation.

BlushingBrightly · 29/06/2025 08:37

ByMerryTiger · 29/06/2025 08:32

You don’t think you’d be able to say ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’ without prior preparation? Really?

Exactly how inarticulate are the commenters claiming this must be fake?

These are all the people who are now saying they get AI to write all their emails for them

Hufflemuff · 29/06/2025 08:37

If you'd have told me I was exhibiting poor parenting, you'd be purchasing your own replacement and I probably would have told you where to stick it. That's just plain rude.

However, without that accusation I would have purchased you a new pastry and apologised as soon as it happened.

TwoFeralKids · 29/06/2025 08:37

How old was the child? A two or three year old can be fast. I would have apologised and got you a new one however you do seem to have over reacted a bit.

BertieBotts · 29/06/2025 08:39

You've clearly never worked in retail or customer facing service jobs if you think it's an unlikely interaction.

TBH I would have probably been terribly English and not wanted to make a fuss.