Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

[HeatingFiddler]

Yesterday at my local coffee shop/bakery I had my pastry on a tray on the counter and was waiting for my coffee. In front of me was a mum with two kids.

One of the kids was fairly young and kept touching everything including glass cabinets, tables, chairs, the self-serve cutlery. She also kept putting her fingers in her mouth and hair. As kids do.

Anyway. She suddenly grabbed my pastry! I shrieked (probably an over reaction, but god the child has literally just shove her fingers in her mouth moments before). Kids mum turned around and asked what the problem was. I said that her child had just touched my pastry, after putting her fingers in her mouth.
And she said, ‘oh. Kids will be kids. I’m sure it’s fine.’

Obviously, I said, ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’

She said ‘if it’s that big of an issue I’m sure you can ask the staff for a new one.’

At this point a member of staff arrived. I explained the situation and said, ‘I don’t think a replacement should come from you. This happened because the child was not being supervised. The child’s mother should pay.’

Anyway, in the end the child’s mother agreed to pay and she took the one her child had touched and they ate it and then left.

Was I being unreasonable to say the mother should pay and to refuse to eat the pastry after that? I genuinely don’t think The coffee shop should have had to front a replacement either - it wasn’t their error!

It’s utterly attention seeking and annoying behaviour in public, and even worse from a grown adult.

You absolutely did say 'go without junk' in your attempt to make it the OP's fault and absolve the parent.

It really was. Like an ‘Eurgh!’ Type noise.

Not a ‘I just saw the Sistine chapel’ noise.

I agree

😂 This is batshit.

Sorry but shrieking ia a bit crazy, are you usually so easily rattled like that ?
Yes, she should pay for the pastry.
But you should also learn to handle situations better. I can not imagine shrieking because someone touched my pastry, that is next level dramatising.

I’m unclear as to how that’s relevant to what I’ve said.

@x2boysIt wouldn’t bother me at all, because I’m pretty good at understanding actual risk and the role of stomach acid. I also let my kids eat food they’ve dropped on floors. Any floors. We’re never sick.

I don't eat pastry my kids have touched so yanbu about* *that No need to be rude and talk about poor parenting though. I would have asked her for a replacement though so well done for that (most people wouldn't dare).

People are just desperate to defend poor parenting and poor manners for some reason.

Perhaps they're also rude and bad parents? Make you wonder.

I was referring to her description of a child compulsively touching everything and putting their fingers in their mouth. That’s not a NT 5/6 year old.

You must be a very superior parent if you never took your eyes off your child for a second.

I think it sounds very unnatural, stilted.

They’re not the same things @Mintsj 🙄

Not the Op fault at all. If a child had done it to me id ask the staff for another, or id just let the child eat it and go without it. Probably that as im on a diet personally, but no offence was intented towards the OP.

i wouldnt expect the mother to replace it. When you are in the same position you understand. My daughter would be this child even though i parent her as best i can. Its really difficult. She has behaviour issues though out of my control.

Kids will be kids.

That’s why parents need to parent!

Good on you for not making the coffee shop foot the bill because the parent didn’t do her job.

Who pays for the original spoilt one? The mother?

Why should the coffee shop pick up the tab?!

You really wouldn't offer to pay? Shame on you!

"Yes, that's why parents need to parent."

Perfect response. Saving that one for the next time someone tells me "kids will be kids".

Shame on you 🤣 bit ott.

Shame on me...

okay then

I was quoting a comment that said they don’t believe it happened this way, but the comment seems to be a victim of Mumsnet’s itchy delete finger (Oddly, not itchy on transphobic comments though as I’ve seen multiple times).

Anyway, I think you were Bang on.
A made up scenario to just get people foaming over “bad parenting”.
We all know how Mumsnet loves to bash ‘parents these days’.

Awaiting that itchy delete finger.
Don’t care, said my piece 💁🏼‍♀️

You were being unreasonable for shrieking but otherwise the other mum was a bad parent and should have paid so every other aspect was bang on

Is it unfashionable for parents to be held responsible for their children’s actions these days? Why should the business lose out because a random child has behaved badly?

Or do you also think that the shop should suck it up when people steal too?

Mine didn’t go around touching stuff and I’d have avoided taking them out to cafes if they were causing a nuisance. Too many parents feel entitled to act as if they’re not responsible for their little darlings and that the rest of us should also smile indulgently at their annoying little brats.

I rather doubt it!

Am I the only one that wouldn't be bothered about a kid touching it and will have eaten it anyway? 😂