Asking a child’s mother to pay for replacement pastry?!

[HeatingFiddler]

Yesterday at my local coffee shop/bakery I had my pastry on a tray on the counter and was waiting for my coffee. In front of me was a mum with two kids.

One of the kids was fairly young and kept touching everything including glass cabinets, tables, chairs, the self-serve cutlery. She also kept putting her fingers in her mouth and hair. As kids do.

Anyway. She suddenly grabbed my pastry! I shrieked (probably an over reaction, but god the child has literally just shove her fingers in her mouth moments before). Kids mum turned around and asked what the problem was. I said that her child had just touched my pastry, after putting her fingers in her mouth.
And she said, ‘oh. Kids will be kids. I’m sure it’s fine.’

Obviously, I said, ‘kids will not just be kids. It’s unhygienic and poor /parenting and I would like for you to buy me a replacement.’

She said ‘if it’s that big of an issue I’m sure you can ask the staff for a new one.’

At this point a member of staff arrived. I explained the situation and said, ‘I don’t think a replacement should come from you. This happened because the child was not being supervised. The child’s mother should pay.’

Anyway, in the end the child’s mother agreed to pay and she took the one her child had touched and they ate it and then left.

Was I being unreasonable to say the mother should pay and to refuse to eat the pastry after that? I genuinely don’t think The coffee shop should have had to front a replacement either - it wasn’t their error!

And again, if she had been watching her child, as she should have been, this wouldn't have happened. Entirely the mothers own fault for allowing her child to do what they wanted in the cafe, including handling other customers food. Disgusting

@Cherrytree86 Of course not, no, but a quick lick of a pastry is just not something I could bring myself to be that arsed about, my 8 month old has made sure I'm more comfortable with bodily fluids, after being pissed, sicked and shat on (granted by my own child) my threshold has lowered!

I went to sleep early last night and came back to a tonne of notifications from this thread…and it’s just the same 2/3 posters arguing!

On another note I’m off to the bakery/coffee shop for my sourdough and my latte. May get another pastry but not sure I have it in me for an argument this early

Not sure why my post was deleted upthread. I just thought it sounded a bit too contrived and made up! I wasn’t rude or abusive or used discriminatory language or any of the other rules, I’d never do that. Many others thought it sounded made up too and their posts still remain!) It reads like a scene from a soap opera or something.

FWIW, OP I think you were a little over handed and probably should have just been a little sympathetic to the parents situation. I’m generally not pro confrontation, and personally would have been kinder to the parent.

Those saying OP was wrong to react then speak to and "humiliate" the mother as it won't change her or the child's behaviour are missing the point a bit. Great but unlikely behaviour will be changed but OP got a new pastry without strange child spit on which was what was required to put things right.

I have said both so don’t think I’ve missed the point at all.

I bet it would have stayed with you, though. She shouldn't have needed calling out on letting her kid touch food that wasn't theirs.

Urgh. That's gross.

I’m impressed that you stood up for yourself actually OP. That was exactly the right thing to do.

You shrieked in the middle of a cafe because a small child touched your pastry? Are you normally this much of a drama queen?

I read these threads as things that never happened in RL. If a feral child was loitering near any normal person’s food, they’d protect their food, surely while watching the feral child like a hawk you’d notice the wet fingers coming for your plate.
Drama lamas.