Help me feel ok about this will

[TerryWogansWig]

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

You are getting 50k from an aunt and you are complaining? Other than from a parent, I would never expect to get anything from any relative.

No one is entitled to inheritance.

She isn't even your relative.

I would be disgusted if I left £50k to someone and they complained it wasn't enough.

50k is a LOT of money! Why do you think family are more entitled than charity? It was her money to do what she chose with.

get over yourself, that'll help you get over it

Was your Dh in her life in any meaningful way? Did he go over for coffee and a chat? Visit a few times a year? Actually had a relationship with her?

My God. Words fail me

You get past it by giving yourself a shake and recognising how rude and presumptuous it was for you to have an expectation of inheritance from your husbands aunt in the first place.

Totally understand your disappointment OP, but we all know that it’s not a given! Anyone can leave their money to anyone or any organisation they so wish to. What a generous person she must have been, and these legacys would have given her comfort. Think what you can do with £50k. For us it’s genuinely be life changing. Glass half full IP! You’re here to enjoy the generous meaningful gift of £50k!!!

Only £50k just wow

Yep I agree with pp - her money and her choice. You should respect her wishes, and how generous that charities will benefit. She obviously wanted that and it was her choice. Also unsure why you are so bothered when this is your husband’s family and not even yours, and also not a first degree relative ?

What was the grounds on which you had expected the four-way split? Had she actually said this was her intention? If not, then you are being v unreasonable. I wouldn't have any expectations at all about an aunt's estate. Hopes. maybe, depending on my circs, but nothing more.

Hmmmm....is it possible that the will was written a long time ago and the specific amounts to beneficiaries would have been bigger at the time than the amount from the rest of the estate going to charity?

You feel it's just not right do you?!
You're lucky to get a red cent!

How ungrateful. I'd be delighted if a family member other than my parents chose to give me anything. You're not owed other people's money just because they passed on and don't have many relatives.

Honestly I cannot believe the money grabbing audacity of so many people.

Entitled. Grasping. Greedy. Ungrateful.

Greedy.

What is there to 'get past'? Someone didn't leave your DH as much money in her will as you'd expected? Was there a specific reason you'd expected a quarter of a million?

The money is going to charity, how could you possibly feel bad about that? Especially when your DH is still inheriting £50k, plus presumably half of his late mother’s share. You sound incredibly money-orientated and grabby. What were the charities? Presumably they will be able to do a lot more good with £200k each than you would have done with it.

You counted your chickens before the eggs hatched.

Exactly that!

From Google: The Beatles song "Can't Buy Me Love" expresses the idea that while money can provide material possessions, it cannot buy true happiness or love.
I sense and appreciate your sense of unfairness. Charities are well versed in gaining from such a will. Be kind to yourself by letting it go.

Did the charities give her more support than her remaining family in her later years?

Well, here’s your lesson that what other people do with their money is none of your business.

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.
Every will is absolutely not contentious! And this one certainly shouldn't be.

Why on earth would you expect that you were going to receive a large inheritance from this aunt?

You want help getting past only being gifted £50,000?

OK.

50k from an aunt is very nice.

My friend’s mum left her house to to the Catholic Church. It sold for 800k. My friend, an only, got the savings which was a princely £20k. 😂