Help me feel ok about this will

[TerryWogansWig]

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

Why did OP think she was getting it though? Based on what?

A family member of mine left a will written similarly and we believe that was the belief. In my family’s case 3 named beneficiaries received £10k (not me, I have no skin in the game) with the rest of the estate to be split between 3 charities. The estate was worth £350k which I’m sure my relative couldn’t imagine when they wrote the will, it was mainly the value of a property

The aunt knew what she was doing,I think it’s funny can just picture all your faces.

There’s nothing like a death in the family to bring out the greedy, money grabbing cave dwellers!

Ermm she actually needs to 'get past' inheriting 75k as 50k was left to deceased mother... 🙄

I had to laugh at the neat way you’d apportioned someone else’s estate in your head 🤦‍♀️
Ridiculously grabby.

God you sound like my sister in law, one Christmas she got pissed and told her parents in law she couldn't wait for them to die so she could inherit their house. "I'm going to be the lady of xxx house".

When his gran died she smiled for a week.
She was pleased when her fil died
She was very very happy when his mum finally died despite neither her or her husband not bothering to see her for over 10 years.

When sil's husband died soon after his mum her first question was "will I inherit his mum's money still"

Thankfully his sister screwed her over and she got fuck all!

We have a distant family member, my dad’s lovely 2nd cousin who is elderly and extremely wealthy, and never had children. She was telling us that all sorts of people have been coming out of the woodwork in recent years, suddenly visiting her after years of no contact. She is leaving pretty much everything to charity, and I can well imagine that there will be reactions similar to yours.

How awful for you 😂

What I said

Most people don't inherit from aunts or uncles and £50k is a pretty good amount. Lots of people don't inherit anything as their parents/family have nothing to leave.

If you hadn't been expecting over £200k, you would probably have been happy with £50k.

You’re a cheeky mare, OP.

I’m very wealthy, and childfree. People like you are the reason I’ll be leaving practically nothing to family by default.

The idea of me dying and my nephew’s wife complaining that she didn’t get enough from me…!

I'd definitely prefer 250k to 50k, we all would, but making a post about it and not expecting an absolute kicking from MN is a bit naive. We should all keep out greedy little thoughts to ourselves.

Oh OP. You earn your own million quid and then YOU can decide how to spend it.

I genuinely do thank you all for your frank and honest comments.

We knew what she had because DH looked after her finances. Yes it was presumptive ( but based on actual conversations) to anticipate more, but it is still a substantial sum, for which we are extremely grateful. Other beneficiaries will be assisting their offspring get on the property ladder, for example, so that is helpful for them. And great news for those charities, all of whom have seen a decline in income.

Your personal stories of other inheritance issues are heard and empathised with.

I shall now go and flagellate myself in the cellar.

Unless she was explicitly told ‘you’ll be getting X amount’, there was no reason for her to believe she was getting anything from the aunt.

Everyone can say you shouldn’t expect inheritance etc but that’s life changing money. I’d be gutted.

Oh gosh - I inherited half my late aunt's (by marriage) estate and my cousins are complaining because they didn't get anything. Who was it who saw her several times a week, phoned every day, generally looked after her? They never came near her for years. People are so grabbing when it comes to inheritance,

I hope the charities are grateful. When my mil died last year, she left some to an Alzheimer’s charity - not an inconsiderable amount of £25k. We posted the cheque to them and never got an acknowledgement or an offer of condolences and gratitude that she had left them any money. Just very rude and entitled.

It rarely goes down well with family when people leave large amounts of their estate to charity, understandably I think. It’s only human.
But charities are really in need of funds just now and do such impactful work; the Red Cross have helped out at British A&E departments when they can’t cope, animal charities have been doing a lot in the cost of living crisis, as have food banks, homeless etc etc
there’s a lot of need around just now.
Still a bitter pill to swallow but maybe some consolation.

Exactly this! Seems to me like OP had already decided how they were spending the 250K!

Methinks you were already mentally spending the money before she had even passed away, singing 🎵 ‘We’re in the money’. What a let down it must be ONLY receiving £50k! Give your head a wobble, it was her money to do what she wanted. Be thankful she left you something.

I imagine they had their mortgage paid off in their heads!

She did what she wanted with her own money, there's nothing to 'get over'. You can do what you want with your own money too.

The OP had no reason (that we know of) to expect the money in the first place though. Apart from anything else, it’s not her aunt.