Help me feel ok about this will

[TerryWogansWig]

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

But why was she under the impression? It doesn’t sound like the aunt had ever said anything of the sort. I hate this idea of people circling around older family members like vultures. My wife and I will not be having children. That does not mean our money should go to the next generation of our family. A person has some responsibility over their own children, there should be no need expectation beyond that.

My father died intestate leaving behind three children and his sisters actually assumed they would be classed as his NOK!

I doubt she made it up. Something must’ve been said along the way to make them think they would be inheriting a significant amount.

Lol

Let me get this straight….

You’re upset at getting £50k? Have I read that right?

Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family?

So if she'd specified 200k for each of the 4 charities with the rest split between you 4, and you'd got 50k that way, would that have been better? No, because you aren't objecting to the way she specified things, but to the charities getting more. Even though that's clearly her desire and she's only an aunt so anything is a bonus, there's no reason to expect a big windfall from her. 50k is amazing, be grateful. The charities will no doubt put it to very good use, as she wished.

I mean, it's up to the lady surely. Perhaps you and DH didn't spend time with her or put yourself out for her which is why she left it to the charities? Either way, it's done now so ... And just a thought, won't your DH be getting his Mum's share or at least a part of it?

My own dad died without leaving enough to pay for his own funeral, let alone giving tens of thousands to relatives. Fuck me. Have a word with yourself.

Jesus Christ. This has to be a wind up

Your sense of entitlement is staggering.

What do you mean? Even if it were written a long time ago the amounts wouldn’t have changed, uses she changed her will.

I am very hot in fairness in wills - but in this case it’s not even your aunt!!!!

She’s done you a favour
my friends nan nominated fixed amount for charities and rest to be divided by grandchildren
she’d been in a care home so that cost had to be recouped the specified amounts for charities/church got 45k between them the grandchildren got £284 each that was all there was left

Nobody inherits from an aunt.

Yes they do.
My siblings and I inherited from 2 aunts and an uncle.

That's what comes of counting chickens before they're hatched OP!

If it makes you feel any better, my friend's father always told her and her brother that his second wife would be allowed to remain in the house but the remainder would be split equally between wife number 2 and his 3 children (friend, her DB and their half-sister).

When he died, they found that he had changed his will a year or so earlier, and his estate all went to the second wife. It was over £10 million.

As does greed

Let's be honest here I can see why the OP might be a bit miffed.800k is a lot to give to charity's. But it's the wishes of the person who left the money so...

50 k is a lot, not £5, £50 or £500

My ancestor was a multi millionaire who left the bulk of his fortune to charity. He left a bit of money to his sons and grandsons and various relations. Also to servants etc. I think he thought there were many better causes to spread his money around.

£50k is still a lot. Your DH shouldn’t have acted so entitled to expect it frankly. Perhaps auntie could have made it clear but perhaps she had no idea that her own relatives were counting on it. Count your blessings and move on.

Focus on the fact that the 4 expected beneficiaries got the same. That’s fair and not contentious at all. If the amounts were not equal then I might have had some sympathy.

Do you disapprove of the charities that benefitted ?

That’s sad

It sounds like you're grieving the money rather than the person

Yeah. Because grief just DRIPS from your post 🤣🤣 You’re grabby and disappointed. Just own it!

I spluttered my dinner. 50k from anyone, even more not a parent is beyond generous. She was entitled to do what she wished with her money.

My mother passed less than 2 months ago. I've got over 7k funeral debt and at least one other and not a penny as she didn't have it.

But honestly. She could have had millions. I'd rather give it all up and have her back.

I can't even with the entitlement!!

Go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say loudly "stop being such a greedy bitch". It won't help but you need to hear it.

To be honest your OP didn’t scream ‘grieving devoted relative’. You only mentioned the inheritance.