Help me feel ok about this will

[TerryWogansWig]

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

I am glad you can derive some joy from knowing that the money will make a difference to those charities, and therefore to lives.

I hope you can find a way to really enjoy the £50,000 as well. What a nice thing.

Yanbu
It was a very bad move on her part in my opinion.

I suspect people on the thread just know better than to have expectations about someone else's will. The OP has updated graciously, and I hope she gets genuine enjoyment from her £50k.

I think it is possible to respect someones right to do what they want with their own money, while still being upset that they didn't choose to help them out. Not choosing to help out a young and struggling relative (if that is the case) definitely seems like a big fuck you to me. Of course human relationships are complex, and sometimes there are many facets to the story of why someone behaves in a particular way and the nuances are rarely put on here.

I think people wanting to maximise their inheritances is less of a statement about them and their grabbing nature and more of a statement about how unaffordable society has become and how difficult it is to raise a family.

At the end of the day, if people could afford decent lives and decent housing they wouldn't need to be so aggressive about seeking out inheritances. If you are at the bottom of the pile it is often about making ends meet any way you can. For many inheritance is a significant and sometimes the only way (bar a lottery win) of getting decent housing/living standards. I don't see many people who get large inheritances turning them down.

I think you mean greed alters ones perspective.

£50k from an AUNT and you’re upset? Unless she brought your DH up, he is not her child and should not have had expectations on her estate. If you’re disappointed it’s because you started out with unreasonable expectations.

Not only are you being unreasonable you are also being ungrateful.
You have no rights to her money nobody does, it was her choice to make where it went & who to when she passed.
Have some respect!

Tbh I'd probably feel exactly the same as you op. don't know why you're getting all these responses saying you're being unreasonable. Not sure on your relationship with the aunt but if you were close and a big part of her life then I would feel gutted about £800k going to charities. in my opinion 50k should have gone to each charity which is more than enough and the £800k split between family.

Let's also remember that the (late) MIL is receiving GBP50k, so OP's DH stands to receive a portion of that, as well as potentially further inheritance from her estate.

You were going to leave your house to your nieces @Anyahyacinth ?

Team Aunt (by marriage only) here!
She obviously had something of an Axe to grind.
Good on her 😁

A distant relative did similar. Small amount to close relatives up to amount free of inheritance tax the rest to charity to avoid any tax.