Help me feel ok about this will

[TerryWogansWig]

Ok, I know “every will is contentious”, but I’m feeling dejected about this one.

DHs aunt, last remaining relative of that generation. No children of her own, Had over £1m in bank accounts etc. We were expecting a 4 way split between DH, his sister, their late mother ( recently deceased also), and a family friend who’d done a lot for her.

Will opened: £50k to each of the 4 expected beneficiaries, a few other very small specific amounts ( church etc), and the balance ( over 800k) split between 4 named charities .

That’s lovely for those charities, but I feel this is just not right. Why not specify an amount to the charities, with the rest split between family? But hey, that’s what she specified so we have to accept it.

Help me get past this.

You need "help" to "get past" ONLY getting £50k? Try being appreciative perhaps?

We need more context here- if DH and you were very involved in her life and assisted her a lot, and you’d been led to believe that you were expecting a more substantial sum, then I can understand your disappointment. But even so, the money could have been swallowed up by care homes fees, or she could have “lost” it some other way so you can’t bank in an inheritance.

If you weren’t close and you expected it on the grounds of being a blood relation then YABU and you should be grateful for the sum you’ll receive.

My dad has done pretty well for himself these last few years, and has made it crystal clear he won’t be leaving us anything. He’s going to spend it and give the rest to charity and then (in his words) “yous can scrap over my watch”. I know he’s being deadly serious as well. Do I love that? Not really, I would like some of his money… but it’s his money. That he made. I have no say over what he does with it. I appreciate that he’s transparent with us though and I will win the scrap so I can sell the watch and get myself something nice.

I get that you’re miffed, but you’ve got £50k you didn’t have before.

Wow you're setting yourself up for a roasting here op. £50,000? You're so lucky. Appreciate every penny.

Nobody inherits from an aunt. Most childless people without a partner leave their money to charity. I know I would.

This OP. Honestly I’d love £50k, as I said it’d change our lives and kids lives. It woujd be the difference between uni, and just getting a job. Please see how lucky you are. Said with kindness.

So she’s not even your aunt and you’re annoyed? Maybe she had an inkling that you were expecting a payout and decided not to give into your feelings of entitlement?

But that's your dad! This is an aunt of the OP's husband. There's a difference!

I wouldn’t expect an aunt to leave anything. But then all mine have children and/ or spouses too.

I think if you have such a large amount you can leave to charity it’s fantastic.

im assuming that actually your DH and his sister will also receive a 50% split of their mums share? (Disclaimer - I’ve no idea how wills work!)

What did you and your DH do for his aunt while she was alive?

Why were you expecting it - had she told you what she was leaving your DH or was it a rather entitled assumption on your part? Reframe it, she could have given it ALL away to charity and I think if she knew your views beforehand, she may well have. She’s left you an incredibly generous legacy.

Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with people

Whinging about a £50k tax free windfall @TerryWogansWig? Catch yourself on.

So what happened to his late mothers share. Honestly, it was only an aunt. You should be grateful for your £50k. Talk about never happy.

Anyone think that the Aunt recognised that OP and her husband were entitled, grasping little feckers and acted accordingly?! My brother and SIL are like you OP - total coffin chasers. Literally go round care homes toadying up to elderly relatives. I love it when the avaricious are disappointed. Bravo, late Aunt!

Yeah, in the nicest possible way, get over it!!

Unless your husband or his siblings helped or cared for her in anyway throughout the year then why should they get more? Even at that - no one is entitled to anyone else’s money/inheritance and that’s that!

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be a bit gutted. The OP was under the impression they’d be inheriting a large amount. It’s disingenuous of posters on here to say otherwise.

But it’s still nice to get 50k.

And what exactly did you personally do for this aunt? Were you close to her? Helped her out? Loved her? Why should you get anything?? Why did you expect it?

Better than a kick in the teeth as my Dad would say. But I understand your disappointment.

She isn’t. Her husband is getting g £50k from HIS aunt!

Good for her. Family were vultures and she knew it!

Yeah but no suggestion she or DH were actually told that by the aunt @Highsmithery - so whatever narrative OP made up in her head was her problem…

DH was told by his rich, widowed, childless uncle that he was the main beneficiary of his will -- he owned a couple of houses and an enormous amount of expensive collectable memorabilia, quite apart from any money he may have had. Fortunately, neither of us counted on this, because, unbeknownst to us, he'd told four or five other relatives the same thing, and apparently changed his will multiple times to the point where it was his main hobby when terminally ill. When the final will was read, everything had been left to his extremely rich brother.

Don't count on your will before it's read.

Why was she under this impression though?

This is helpful, we don’t want to be seen as vultures, and are of course extremely appreciative of the inheritance. Grief always alters one’s perspective. .