To no longer attend Wedding’s when only invited to the evening

[TeriBW]

Anyone else not a fan? Everyone is slaughtered on arrival, it’s often ‘picky’ food so nothing substantial and it’s hard to get more than a quick hello with the happy couple…

Totally with you. I don’t go either. I’m getting married soon and everyone is invited to everything!

Bit churlish, isn’t it? Weddings are so expensive. The happy couple often can’t afford for everyone to attend the reception.

YANBU. Especially if much travel or expense is required. I think if it were local it’d be fine.
DH once travelled a considerable distance for this, and the food was basically cheesy chips 😳

Agreed, it's much nicer to have everyone for the whole day rather than a two tier event. Look carefully at the guest list - if the person is worthy only of an evening invite then probably no point at all.

Yanbu. Only been once to the evening part...no food or drink provided. Didn't see the bride much as they were having photos.

YANBU if everyone is slaughtered by the time you get to all these receptions.

YABU about the food as you can have dinner before you go.

Obviously your choice OP, but I think it depends on how near the venue is to you, and how much you want to support the couple getting married.
ive attended evening only events and enjoyed them. It did mean a bit of travel and booking a room, but I did like the couple getting married, so it was ok.
Its obviously your call, and it’s your choice but ppl getting married generally have a budget and can’t invite everyone to the whole shindig.

No, I gave one a miss a couple of months ago. Several hours travel, paying out for a hotel, to just go to a terrible disco with expensive drinks and a few sausage rolls? No thanks, got better stuff to do with my time.

If it was a couple of miles away, maybe, but even then it's usually quite rubbish unless you've got a gang of people to go with.

I love an evening do! The ultimate low stakes night out. No etiquette to worry about, no social agony. Wear what you fancy, turn up and jump right in to the fun part, I love it!

I much prefer just an evening invite. All the waiting around and boredom has finished. I'd take drunk people over that anyway

Well, they always could if they chose a venue/food option etc that meant they could have all the guests all day. They're choosing to have something fancier for fewer people, it's not that they can't invite everyone to the whole thing.

Their choice to do that, evening guests' choice not to bother.

Agreed.

If we are not close enough for me to be invited to the wedding, then I have no social obligation to suffer through an acquaintances reception.

This! Isn’t the evening the fun part? Especially if it’s a free bar. The actual wedding is boring, who cares about that bit apart from the bride and groom? I mean I’m not big on weddings anyway so unless I really liked the couple I’d decline but if I had a choice I’d pick the evening every time.

Evening dos are perfect for nice work friends where you couldn’t possibly invite them all but you don’t want to leave people out. At my work we all love going to each other’s evening dos.

I really don't like weddings. I'd much rather just rock up to the evening do and skip all the waiting around, sitting through speeches and having to dress up in something that makes me feel like I'm in drag.

I agree.

I’d never just go to an evening do - a lot of effort to go to party you weren’t on the A list for.

I had a church ceremony-only wedding invitation from my aunt which I thought was very odd given we got on so well, and she’d been at my whole wedding a year earlier. It would have been 7-hour round trip to attend it so I politely declined citing childcare issues and she’s never spoken to me since.

There was definitely a reception afterwards and other family were invited (saw all the Facebook photos), but 3 of us all got ceremony-only. I’ve heard of evening only but never ceremony-only (and as it was in a church I think legally anyone can attend).

It sounds like you're peeved not to be invited to the day event.

Yanbu to skip it.

I would be happy to go to an evening do providing easy enough to get to, I had something to wear and I wanted to see the people there.

It's also good if you don't know so many people (e.h. DH work friends) if there's decent hospitality. Over the years highlights have been free bar, hog roast, bacon sandwiches at 11pm, sweet trolley, cute gift bags with home made gin and honey. Sigh I love a good wedding.

Its also good when standard beige buffet with enough food, and cheesy disco. Absolutely classic.

I’ve never gone to wedding where I was only invited to the evening

I didn't have any evening only guests at my wedding. If they're not important enough to be invited to see the actual marriage I'm not bothered about them being there for the evening.

Totally agree. I don’t do two tier weddings - I get invited to the whole thing or don’t go - the couple clearly aren’t bothered, and it’s generally a bit of effort and money if not local, etc.

I always assume that evening guests are the after thoughts. Work colleagues, neighbours, parents friends'. Or distant relatives. Good enough to invite for a gift but not good enough to spend money on entertaining for the day event. Hence I always send a polite decline and don't give it a second thought.

Of course you're not unreasonable to go to something you aren't particularly interested in.

I don't mind an evening invite. I love an all day one too. In most unmmumsnetty fashion I always enjoy weddings and look forward to them.

You clearly don’t like the party bit of a wedding. It’s fine, some people don’t like the “dance and drinking” type of socialising. I assume you’re one of those people who if they’re invited all day won’t stay much beyond the first dance, not the ones still on the dance floor at 1am.

It’s ok to know you don’t like some things and decline them when invited. Rarely “evening only” invites are close family/friends, so it’s not like you’re close enough to be missed.

So do I!!

I hate that they are dying out. No stress about what to wear, not as much pressure for huge gift