To no longer attend Wedding’s when only invited to the evening

[TeriBW]

Anyone else not a fan? Everyone is slaughtered on arrival, it’s often ‘picky’ food so nothing substantial and it’s hard to get more than a quick hello with the happy couple…

I much prefer an evening only invite. Whole day weddings are always so long and drawn out. I'm very happy to just turn up for the actual party.

Why do people have such long, drawn out weddings?

Why not have an afternoon wedding and make it easier for your guests. That is why we got married at 3 o'clock. It allowed for people to travel on the day and for them to only need to pay for one night's accommodation.

BTW, ours wasn't a destination wedding. We got married in my hometown in south London, but DH is from the north east and my extended family were in the south west.

I’ve never been to a wedding with no food in the evening , and I’ve been to loads of weddings with a variety of budgets. Surely they always have food of some description?

Wow! You do know that weddings are really expensive and that a lot of thought often goes into stretching the guest list a little further so more friends can come, right?
It’s not all about you, you know. If you don’t want to attend, then RSVP to that effect - don’t complain about the happy couple’s kind invitation, it comes across as entitled and ungrateful…

Precisely, we had a 3.30pm wedding drinks before the meal which was served at 6pm, then 8pm to 10pm there were drinks in the garden with music playing. We were lucky with the weather. No evening party, 34 years ago, almost to the day.

Some of our friends from London hired a mini bus and continued the party on the way home! Others just stayed one night.

I can only recall two couples having evening parties and they both had afternoon receptions with canapés and fizz rather than a sit down meal and the evening invitations were to acquaintances and staff rather than friends and family. In both cases there was a large spread, a free bar and dancing. It was a very long day though.

Our DC are caught up in the whirl of weddings at present. It all sounds quite similar and there doesn't seem to be much excess or drama unlike on here. DS and DIL chose not to do favours but donated what they would have spent to a charity. Like us, they had a late afternoon wedding - logistically it works.

You shouldn’t be ‘stretching out’ the guest list unless you can be hospitable to your guests and offer them drinks, food and a decent warm welcome, on time, in the evening at the very, very least.

It is NOT kind inviting guests to pay for themselves to pad out your evening party!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to choose not to go. I wouldn’t travel or make a very big effort to attend one either.

But I also don’t think evening invites are inherently a negative thing either. Most people have some friends or acquaintances that they like enough to want to celebrate with, but not spend £100+ on to host for dinner. So as long as they don’t try and guilt trip anyone into attending, I think evening invites are reasonable but so is someone declining one.

I quite like going out. I also can't stay at home tucked up under a blanket with my little family as unless you class the cats as family it's just me!

But I'm not going to waste money on a new frock, buy a present, pay travel, to go to a party where most people have been drinking since early afternoon.

Getting married isn't about the party, we hear that so much on here, watching someone say their vows is an honour, being invited to the party afterwards because you aren't important enough to be included in the main event, not so much.

People keep mentioning birthday parties, but that usually isn't split into different tiers of guests.

The evening do is the best bit! The actual wedding part is boring.

I certainly wouldn't want to be slaughtered on arrival, sounds a bit sacrificial

Gosh no. I only enjoy the actual wedding ceremony itself. The rest is so boring.