To no longer attend Wedding’s when only invited to the evening

[TeriBW]

Anyone else not a fan? Everyone is slaughtered on arrival, it’s often ‘picky’ food so nothing substantial and it’s hard to get more than a quick hello with the happy couple…

My rule with Evening Do’s has always been, if it’s in my home city and not far to travel, ie same distance Id travel for a normal night out/meal/theatre, then great, I’ll be there with bells on. But if it’s somewhere further out and I have to pay for overnight accommodation or a really pricey taxi, then I probably won’t go.

I'd much rather be going to the evening do ! So much faffing !!

I went to a wedding in March and the bride didn't speak to anybody. I waved as my daughter and I were going off to bed. She didn't wave back!

I just dont get it we had ceremony and dinner one invitation, this multi event thing I get if you are royalty us mere mortals just have a wedding

No i wouldn't go to an evening event thing only as what is the point?

Yeah I agree (mostly.) I will generally only go to an evening do if...

A) It's less than 15 miles away.

B) I am not very close to the bride and groom - just like neighbours or colleagues.

Otherwise no.

I just love the party! It doesn't bother me.

If you want to invite 120 people to your wedding but only want to pay for a reception/meal for 60 then compromise. Have the reception at a cheaper venue and make it less lavish. For example buffet in a hired hall. To do otherwise is what I'd call "fur coat and no knickers".

I don't attend evening do's, feels like you haven't made the A team and have been relegated to the B team.
Otoh I hate weddings, I actually groan out loud if I'm invited to a wedding.
Pain in the arse and usually expensive when you add up a gift, an outfit, travel, hotel, drinks etc.
I'm a miserable bugger really 😕

So different people like different things. I am getting married (again) in 2 years and I cannot afford a large enough venue to host absolutely everyone all day.
so we have around 90 people to the day and another 65 to the party in the evening. We will be feeding everyone and laying on the entertainment but staying absolutely no gifts whatsoever. We have everything we need and plenty we don’t need so please no more.
If people choose not to come then that is their prerogative and it won’t affect our relationship

It's an invitation not a summons.

Surely the issue is add-ons - kids, relatives partners etc.

Doesn’t bother me if it’s local, it’s still a rare night out. We had everyone for the whole day though, but only about 45 guests total.

I’m happy with an evening invite; unless I know lots of people at a wedding then I find the all day aspect of it a bit much so an evening invite suits me better. I think whether you’re there all day or just the evening you rarely get much time with the couple anyway

If I was close I’d go, if it’s an overnight stay I’d think twice.

I don’t mind an evening invite but wouldn’t travel more than an hour for just an evening invite.

an evening invite means you don’t have the faff of hanging about, waiting on all he photos and speeches etc but still get a party out of it.

personally we couldn’t afford 100 day guests so had 40 family during the day and invited extended family and friends for the party at night time. No one complained though the hotel was in the next village to where we lived, so nice and handy.

If anyone had the temerity to invite me to an evening only reception, I’d automatically decline. I’m not a second rate guest.

But, it seems an old fashioned thing now. I don’t think many, if any, have evening guests nowadays - they just invite everyone to the whole thing.

I've never felt like that when invited to an evening do. I don't assume I wasn't important enough to be invited to the meal, just that there are extra people the couple know who they would like to invite to one part of the day. It's pretty much a separate party. It's nice to be invited.

It's usually when you are as close to the couple, like a work colleague so being there for the whole day might be a bit odd but there's a less intimate bit of the day starting after 7.30 that more people are welcome to.

I've never understood the offence it causes.

We invited work colleagues and friends from choir to the evening but it was close by, many were in walking distance even. We also invited everyone to the church service plus cake and prosecco. We had a free bar all evening and decent food. The sit down meal was only close family and old friends from out of town who all were staying in hotels

The evening part of most couple’s weddings is my personal version of hell. I typically leave as I can get away with. The noise, the dancing, the small talk. It’s everything I hate in life. The only good part of a typical wedding is the earlier bits. I like the calm, peaceful parts where you can actually talk to people. I’ve been this way since I was as a child attending weddings. Hooray for long ceremonies, speeches, and chicken. Omg, they are playing music, can we go home now. No point in an evening only invite to me.

DH and I did a wedding that suited our personalities. That was one I was happy to stay until the end.

Oh and we stated no gifts!

Only on mumsnet do I see people being offended at just being invited to the evening part of the wedding.

I have been to local evening dos and enjoyed them. We were fed proper food and then went home to bed. I wouldn't travel and pay for a hotel for one though.

I used to love an evening invite to a friends wedding when I was a teenager/early twenties, lots of friendship group/or work colleagues (we were a very young team) would all show up together and we’d all get pissed have a good time.

As an older adult, I will usually politely decline as they really dull as a standalone part of the day.

I think if you live nearby then it’s nice to be able to pop by and enjoy the evening. If I was expected to travel and pay for accommodation I would be less keen. I was invited to just the evening once and it was horrible. Everyone was really drunk and I felt like I’d really missed out on the main celebration.

I love an evening invite too. I find most weddings very dull; there’s always so much waiting around. The ideal is to go somewhere for an early dinner with some fellow evening invitees, have a few drinks and then join the wedding for the dancing + cake.

We had one of these a few years ago when DH was DP. He worked with the groom so he was invited to the day and I was invited for just the evening. I completely respect B & G’s choices but equally I didn’t want to get into two sets of arrangements so didn’t attend my invite.