Gender swap situation

[TenThousandYears]

I know you're all probably fed up hearing about this subject...I just need to vent.

DD has been friends with "Sally" for 10 years. (Both 14) Since nursery. In the last few months Sally has decided to change gender and now wants to be called " Ron"

DD just can't wrap her head around this. If she slips up, she gets nasty looks from "Ron" and so she's treading on eggshells.

Ron's brother still refers to Ron as Sally so DD is very confused by it all.

I'm on DDs side. Personally, I would hate to be in her shoes right now. I think if you meet someone and are introduced to them as whomever then that's easier to accept than having to change names and pronouns of someone you've been friends with for 10 years. On TV shows people just accept this straight away and move on but I'm not convinced that it's really that easy.

I also think 14 is a bit young for these changes but that's just my personal opinion.

Are me and my child horrible people for not being able to accept this right away?

‘Not all transwomen have penises’ @Tandora?

Most do though, don’t they?

You might not care about seeing penises in the changing room at the gym or on a hospital ward but a great many women do, and you don’t speak for them.

But very few trans women don’t have penises. There’s your logical fallacy right there.

How have I “misunderstood” trans people by saying that they remain their biological sex? It’s a cold hard scientific fact that they do, I’m’ afraid; nothing to do with me. “Gender identity” is, in the end, an unprovable metaphysical belief. If you think otherwise, then tell me what you DO think it is, and why people are somehow able to change sex?

Maybe you need to have a read of this very timely article. As a bi person who falls under the LGBT “umbrella”, I agree with him. Don’t you?:

archive.is/CKaLx

Why don't you think women should have the right to spaces away from men @Tandora ?

@Tandora And are you really saying that my concerns about my 13-year-old daughter, who’s never seen an adult male penis, having to change at school or Guide camp or at the swimming pool with a man in the room, is “phobia and prejudice”?

Think about it carefully, now; because you really need to stand by your answer.

That seems to be unnecessarily aggressive for an online CHAT forum.

And it’s not aggressive to say the concerns I expressed in my post about my daughter being in a changing room with men is “phobia and prejudice”?

You think genderists should be allowed to say what they like, but asking them if they do in fact stick by their expressed opinions is “unnecessarily aggressive”? I see.

Show me where I said anything about the number of sexes or whether anyone can change sex. You won't be able to, because I have said precisely nothing about that.🙄

Oh dear. Maybe you should have taken a minute to read what I actually said before making your rather empty yet very wordy response. I didn’t claim that YOU said anything of the kind.

I do find it interesting that you are busily policing the recently made up rules around this ideology. I don’t really care. I can just invoke reality.

As a general point, many people in cults have no idea that they are in one.

Nowt to do with psychotic trans activists assaulting women in public, or threatening rape, murder and burning, then? And wondering why people haven't been charmed into acquiescence.

DontTouchRoach · 24/06/2025 11:32

I’m sure you know what response to this you’ll get on Mumsnet where the prevailing view on trans issues is out of step with the general population.

No, that's incorrect. MN isn't a hotbed of genderist ideologues.

Stand by it where? In GC court? You do know this is the internet

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Don’t be daft. If saying you don’t want your elderly mum on a ward in a bed next to a man, or that you don’t want your young daughter to be changing next to a fully grown adult man is “phobia and prejudice”, then @Tandora and all the lot of you gender ideologues need to be willing to say that loud and proud, and not equivocate about it:

“Yes, I think that young teenage girls should have to change clothes at the swimming pool next to fully grown adult men, because the man’s inner belief that he is a woman is more important than children’s privacy.”

Or what about:

“Yes, I think that teenage girls should have to change clothes at the swimming pool next to fully grown adult men, because I believe that the man has magically actually become a woman, even if he looks exactly like a fully grown adult man.”

Not willing to say that out loud, but still want to accuse other women of “phobia and prejudice” for not wanting that? We can all see you.

I’ve had ‘we can see you’ from GC types on here before. It’s all a bit Game Of Thrones high sparrow for me tbh

So tell me, do people magically change sex, and if so, how?

That’s an odd point to focus on in that whole comment. Did you not want to respond to the part about should your daughter be expected to change next to a man? Are you team ‘she can look the other way and not see his erection’ Laurie Penny?

Sorry but I won’t be taking questions at this time

I bet you aren’t!

That’s some Olympic level deflection.

I take it you can’t answer the question.

How many of psychotic trans activists do you know irl? I dont know a single one. But I know a fair bunch of trans people who are not trying to rape or burn me or anyone else and lead a normal life. Why do you extend one person's conduct onto the whole group?
Following your 'logic' or lack of, Maria Lvova-Belova has been been accused of beign a war criminal and also happens to be a woman and is not trans, do we think that all women are war criminals guilty by association of being women?

What’s psychotic? I see parents on school groups having a go at people who think their early primary daughter shouldn’t be made uncomfortable by sharing toilets with boys. Calling them bigoted transphobes. That doesn’t seem far off psychotic to be honest, mentally healthy adults with kids of their own should all be aware of the violence and sexual assault risk girls face and want to protect them and help them build solid boundaries and go to school in safe places.

Just wanted to add I dont understand why your daughter is confused her brother calles Ron by the given name- many trans people are not accepted by their families (I had students in the past whose parents never supported them, the result was very sad for the kids). The brother may probably be a transphobe too. Not uncommon.

If your daughter does not want to continue the friednship because she cant give Ron the minimum of respect by doing something so simple as using the name they want, she should step away and do Ron a favour and let him find friends who will be actual friends. Ron is probably better off without a 'friend' like this.

Ron doing whatever he wants with his identity has nothing to do with your daughter, he's not forcing her to be trans or transition, he only wants for her tto use a certain name not another. Instead both of you are probably more likely going on a cruisade against an imaginary problem and punishing him because you disagree with the whole issue. The kid is just a kid and has a right to explore his identity without your judgement.

How often do you see these convos? I am a parent with kids in two primary schools, not an issue. I taught as supply in 10+ schools in the last few years (a few of these in schools with a number or trans people)- not an issue. I am however sure there are a few very outspoken parents here and there, but you make it seem like there is a wave of thousands of parents in each school demanding girls to share toilets, and there arent.
Are the parents you supposedly see ''all the time" even parents of trans children? Or virtue signallers who have no clue and give everyone a bad name?

The person I quoted seems to think all trans activists want to burn and rape women- I know a few and they are the gentlest, nicest people (much nicer than many people on this thread)- really maybe go and educate yourself, you may be surprised most trans people dont want the end of women really.

I'm very open to being educated. The problem is, all the education I'm receiving from people on these threads, the facts, statistics, scientific evidence is coming from one side.

All the people on the other are doing is, variously, saying I should not concern myself with things that I don't understand, that they can't be bothered to type out replies to people's questions, sneering at people, calling them bigots and insisting that some men are women so should be allowed in women's spaces, without explaining why.
When you want to gain acceptance for something to radical as some men are women, with all the practical implications for women (sharing refuges and prison cells, disadvantage in sport, changing our language for ourselves to include 'cis' or 'pregnant person') the burden of proof should really rest with those requiring others to make the change.
It's a bit much to tell us we have to do all these things for this tiny minority and that's its our own responsibility to educate ourselves as to why.

@HerNeighbourTotoro @Tandora

You just can’t answer the questions can you?

Doesn’t that tell you something.

Stop and think what you are supporting.

@HerNeighbourTotoro

Please complete the sentence

I don’t think that young girls sharing changing rooms with men is a problem because…………...