Gender swap situation

[TenThousandYears]

I know you're all probably fed up hearing about this subject...I just need to vent.

DD has been friends with "Sally" for 10 years. (Both 14) Since nursery. In the last few months Sally has decided to change gender and now wants to be called " Ron"

DD just can't wrap her head around this. If she slips up, she gets nasty looks from "Ron" and so she's treading on eggshells.

Ron's brother still refers to Ron as Sally so DD is very confused by it all.

I'm on DDs side. Personally, I would hate to be in her shoes right now. I think if you meet someone and are introduced to them as whomever then that's easier to accept than having to change names and pronouns of someone you've been friends with for 10 years. On TV shows people just accept this straight away and move on but I'm not convinced that it's really that easy.

I also think 14 is a bit young for these changes but that's just my personal opinion.

Are me and my child horrible people for not being able to accept this right away?

But in this situation "supporting" could also be called "affirming" and "reinforcing". It’s not a neutral act.

Totally agree. Gender ideology is regressive IMHO

See also, if a girl likes jeans and no make up, that doesn't = non binary

It’s. Not. A. Belief. System.

Not if you continue to ignore the elephant in the room.

please explain what makes a boy a trans girl? literally nothing other than them saying they are or feeling they are. emphasis on them feeling they are not anyone else seeing them as the opposite sex. Or indeed them being the opposite sex.

It goes against safe guarding rules to have mixed sex changing rooms for teens, even alongside single sex. That doesn’t mean all trans girls boys will attack/rape girls or that all girls will believe they are uncomfortable changing in front of trans girls boys. But there are safe guarding rules in place to minimize incidents and for privacy and dignity.

Do you not understand that?

Safeguarding is not bigotry.

Can you explain what it is, then? Because there's concrete evidence for biological sex, but there isn't concrete evidence for gender identity or a body with an opposite sex brain. All there are is feelings, and they aren't facts, and at the moment there's no way to prove that someone who says they have the feelings of the opposite sex is telling the truth. Or a definition of what those feelings are. And how can they even be opposite sex feelings, if someone of the other sex is having them - doesn't that by definition make them feelings that both sexes can have?

So all that's left is faith - can you believe the thing despite overwhelming evidence that it's not true.

Sexuality is a feeling/ cognition, it doesn't mean it isn't real. Hunger is a feeling/ cognition - doesn't mean it isn't real.

This has got nothing to do with "telling the truth" or otherwise, or who believes what, or someone's opinion on mumsnet.

Being trans is a real condition. It affects a small minority of people. You are lucky you are not one of them as it's not an easy thing to live with. There's no need for you to have an opinion about the veracity of someone else's condition. You are not their doctor, you are not a scientist.

Please for the love of god, just cease.

You have absolutely no right to tell anyone to 'just cease' just because they don't buy into the same ideology as you.

I have every right to tell you to cease with your harmful opinions about a very challenging minority condition of which you very clearly have no insight or understanding.

I will do so again - please, for the love of all that is good and decent in the world, cease.

Those you disagree with have exactly as much right to express themselves as you have to express yours. You cannot simply browbeat people into agreeing with you, much as you'd obviously like to.

I could equally tell you to 'cease' with your 'harmful' opinions too though. 🫣

People in glass houses, etc etc.

I'm not the one telling people to 'just cease' expressing a view. 🫣

This please

Of. Course. It. Is.

Further more it's a belief system that most people don't adhere to.

We're talking about children and as responsible adults - many of us parents - we're never going to be quiet about the myriad of safeguarding risks that pretending to children they can change sex causes. Those of us who work with children and are experienced in child development, child psychology, safeguarding & understanding how to support children with eating disorders, self harm, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and a host of other issues will never cease challenging this dangerous to children ideology.

Not. in. a. million. years.

Being trans is not an ideology.

How is this 'challenging minority condition' idenfitied/ diagnosed other than self declaration.

is there any other 'challenging minority condition' or diagnosis treated by affirmation at all cost and without regard to the mental and physical health of the YP involved and at the expense of the rights of female people?

This conversation has no more to do with safeguarding than homophobia had anything to do with safeguarding during the days of Section 28.

Oh please,

This is just nonsense.

The homophobia comes from your ideology. Without sex there is no such thing as homosexuality.

That's why large parts of the gay and lesbian community want nothing to do with the T.

Nobody can change sex. People can express themselves through clothing, hair, piercings, perhaps even by mutilating themselves, but it is a biological impossibility to actually change your sex.

This is literally crazy. The entire male sex is not a danger to women. If you really think that you can never safely leave the house and one presumes you do. Do you expect ys all to live in purdah?

Plenty of languages don’t have gendered pronouns. Calling someone by their preferred pronoun will not make women unsafe.

And women saying no to men who want to be in our spaces and saying that children need safeguarding couldn't be further from s.28.

You've lost touch with reality. Honestly.

Exactly.
I'm also six of trans ideology being being gay, lesbian or bisexual.

@BlueMum16 said "Yes getting a pronoun or name wrong will be difficult at first but supporting and being a kind friend would be what I was encouraging my DC to do rather than stepping away because it's easier."

Well, "Ron", apparently is being nasty about this and giving nasty looks when people make mistakes - instead of being kind, acknowledging that people are making an effort, and having a bit of empathy and understanding about how hard it is.

"be kind" goes both ways.

Being trans is not an ideology