Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

632 replies

Doghouse1g1 · 23/06/2025 11:40

Girls I really need some advice..
I had to cancel my wedding 4 months ago due to my partner cheating with numerous women.
My wedding should have been Saturday just gone in Italy. Some of the wedding party decided to go ahead with the weekend anyway as it was all booked and paid for (flights, air bnbs etc) which I was fine with as they has paid a big expense to attend.
My best friend (and bridesmaid) was one of these guests and she contacted me via Facetime yesterday to tell me her boyfriend proposed on Saturday (which should have been my wedding day) on the beach in Italy 🙈
I was absolutely gobsmacked and replied saying I was pleased for her but I needed time to process the news and ended the call.
I am happy for her but I do feel it's totally insensitive and I'm in total shock. How do I move past this?

OP posts:
catin8oot5 · 23/06/2025 11:41

You’re being weird

Pricelessadvice · 23/06/2025 11:42

But it’s not your wedding day anymore.

You can’t claim that weekend for yourself really. I’d be happy for my friend.

Steelworks · 23/06/2025 11:43

Can’t really blame her if bf proposed to her. The bf is the insensitive one, and probably just chose the setting as it was gorgeous, rather than thinking about the date.

Bourbonversuscustardcream · 23/06/2025 11:43

Was she supposed to turn him down because of the date? Or just not tell you?

I can understand why you’d be a bit sad about it, but she’s not really done anything wrong.

4naans · 23/06/2025 11:43

Her boyfriend proposed. Should she have said no? I'm not sure she could have done much if it was a surprise proposal. If you're upset speak to her fiance.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 23/06/2025 11:44

catin8oot5 · 23/06/2025 11:41

You’re being weird

This 😁
So she got engaged on a day that you're not even getting married on anymore? I thought you were going to say they got down on one knee or something in the middle of the photo taking bit or something. Now THAT would have been a bit more unreasonable.

IsoldeWagner · 23/06/2025 11:44

She didn't get engaged on your wedding day. I'm sorry to hear that you've had such a tough time, but she really hasn't done anything wrong.

Honon · 23/06/2025 11:45

I think a bit of both. I think she could have been more sensitive in the way she broke the news given the circumstances. But I also think it probably didn't feel like your wedding day to the party that went away, to them it had just become a holiday.

Kreepture · 23/06/2025 11:45

"How do i move past this?"

Get over yourself.

Stop being weird because her boyfriend was a bit insensitive.

It wasn't your wedding day.

Tangerinenets · 23/06/2025 11:45

It’s a bit insensitive but was also the perfect opportunity for him to propose I guess. Just be happy for her and let it go.

palmleafsinwinter · 23/06/2025 11:45

Your friend should have shown more tact in how she told you. She didn’t need to FaceTime you to tell you this news given it was meant to have been your wedding day. She could have sent you a brief message to update you so you could collect your thoughts and respond when you were ready, there’s plenty of people who could have been able to take that call to celebrate the news in that moment and it shouldn’t have been you.

Im sorry for what you’ve been through OP. Well done for leaving the cheat before marriage- it would have only gotten harder.

FMc208 · 23/06/2025 11:45

Your title doesn’t match what happened.

It wasn’t your wedding day!

Swiftie1878 · 23/06/2025 11:45

It’s not your wedding day. Forget everything to do with your loser ex. Celebrate your friend’s happiness.

LadyLucyWells · 23/06/2025 11:46

Be happy for her. After all, she was happy to pay a lot of money to attend your wedding overseas. You should be glad that your friends didn't lose that money and decided to go to Italy, anyway.

And, feel relieved that you discovered the other women your ex had been seeing before you married.

GCAcademic · 23/06/2025 11:47

You shouldn't have posted in AIBU, OP. The default here is to tell you you must be wrong, weird, oversensitive, etc.

IRL, anyone with an ounce of class and empathy would demonstrate more tact and sensitivity than the bridesmaid has.

Dweetfidilove · 23/06/2025 11:47

Your wedding day?

If I'd paid good money for a non-event, I'd be making the best of it too. At least something good came of the day.

Spirallingdownwards · 23/06/2025 11:47

Although it was no longer your wedding day she was either dammed if she told you he had proposed there or dammed if she didn't when everyone would know.

I am sure what makes it hard for you is that it was supposed to be your wedding day and you aren't at the stage you thought you would be in life now whereas she seems to be.

The reality is you dodged a massive bullet by not marrying a cheating twat!

File the emotion of that's a bit off and be happy for her.

Helpmeplease2025 · 23/06/2025 11:48

It’s better if you stop thinking of it as your wedding day, as it wasn’t.

You’re better off without him, don’t lose friends over him too.

BigDahliaFan · 23/06/2025 11:49

Oh get over yourself and be spectacularly happy for your friend - she's super excited. What other days is she supposed to avoid?

And...if you want to stay friends with her, send her a massive bunch of flowers for when she gets back with a card saying sorry for being a twat and wishing her all the best.

MiddleAgedDread · 23/06/2025 11:49

I thought you were going to say he did a speech at your wedding and proposed to her as part of that or got down on one knee in the middle of your first dance or something similar!!
You are clearly hurting as you had to cancel your wedding but really your friend went on a nice holiday and her boyfriend took it as an opportunity to propose. It was not your wedding day.

ShesTheAlbatross · 23/06/2025 11:50

I think she was a little insensitive in how she announced it maybe. It wouldn’t take a genius to work out that you might be a little upset on Saturday.
However, she’s not at all unreasonable to get engaged.

itsanothernamechangeone · 23/06/2025 11:50

I think she should have waited a day to FaceTime you. You didn’t need to know on Saturday.

but overall you are unreasonable. She can’t help getting proposed to in a beautiful place.

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 23/06/2025 11:51

It wasn't your wedding day.
Her life doesn't stop because you didn't get married.
Her boyfriend proposed and she said yes, timing wasn't her choice.

Sorry your ex was a dickhead, but life goes on.

Toddlerteaplease · 23/06/2025 11:52

Dweetfidilove · 23/06/2025 11:47

Your wedding day?

If I'd paid good money for a non-event, I'd be making the best of it too. At least something good came of the day.

Too right!

AmyDuPlantier · 23/06/2025 11:53

Wow, that was I’m sure an instinctive reaction from you but…also pretty mean. It’s not your day, even if it was your wedding day, other people are still entitled to do whatever the fuck they want.

Quite shocked you made this about your feelings actually. Just act happy for her and quietly be sad about it to yourself for a bit.