Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

[Doghouse1g1]

Girls I really need some advice..
I had to cancel my wedding 4 months ago due to my partner cheating with numerous women.
My wedding should have been Saturday just gone in Italy. Some of the wedding party decided to go ahead with the weekend anyway as it was all booked and paid for (flights, air bnbs etc) which I was fine with as they has paid a big expense to attend.
My best friend (and bridesmaid) was one of these guests and she contacted me via Facetime yesterday to tell me her boyfriend proposed on Saturday (which should have been my wedding day) on the beach in Italy 🙈
I was absolutely gobsmacked and replied saying I was pleased for her but I needed time to process the news and ended the call.
I am happy for her but I do feel it's totally insensitive and I'm in total shock. How do I move past this?

It WASNT your wedding day and therefore your friend WASNT a bridesmaid! Its just a random Saturday night of their holiday!!

Your being U and making this all about you. Its really not.

I can only imagine what a tough day it was for you, sending you a hug. I think you’re justified in feeling hurt.

But your bridesmaid didn’t ask to be proposed to, and I’m sure you’d have been thrilled for her had it been a different place and time. She has been insensitive in breaking the news to you in the way she has. I’m sure in her shoes I’d have said “I’d love to marry you, and my answer is ‘yes’ but I think we should get officially engaged somewhere else because after all, this should have been best friend’s wedding day/location and I don’t want to rub her nose in it”.

I wouldn’t fall out with her, but I would share your feelings with her sensitively.

If you were actually getting married then yes it was a dick move.

however it was just a nice holiday. Getting engaged on holiday is not unusual.

Why on earth is this an issue? It is not het fault your bf cheated

I really disagree with the other posters. Having to cancel a wedding with four months to go because of a cheating partner is a horrible experience and the only reason she should have called on what would have been your wedding day is to check in on how you’re doing. She should have had the basic empathy to hold off on her news until at least a few days later

She did wait a day to tell her

Not your wedding day.

If you're still so sensitive about it 4 months later, think about having some therapy. You had a lucky escape.

I missed this. OP really is BU, then.

I understand. You probably spent the day thinking ‘what if’ and this was then a shock.
I’m a bit sad your friend didn’t do something to distract you in the day, we did when my friends wedding was called off for the same reason, did you not still fancy a mini break?

YANBU.
Your mate was spectacularly insensitive to have told you when she did/in the manner she did.

Exactly. She didn't tell her on the day of the wedding.

you have to see it’s nothing to do with you and be happy for her- at least something good came from your cancelled wedding

stop the pity party (said with kindness) and enjoy this with her

this has not been done to you- you are not the victim, don’t destroy your friendship with your bitterness, enjoy this for her and for yourself

Whilst I do agree it was NOT your wedding day I do see why you were upset. If they were on holiday for a length of time then I don't know why it couldn't happen/she told you - on another day than the one that held great significance to you.
Just grieve as you need to and possibly remember it wasn't done out of maliciousness but just her being tactless. I'm assuming she's quite young? I hope you feel better soon and that day will be one of celebration that you avoided a huge mistake. Take care x

Insensitive to say the very least. I'm shocked a friend would do this. What a bird brain.

She waited until the next day. Why would she be "quite young"?

This - the logical approach.

You are being weird

i can understand that you were feeling fragile about the wedding, and this just seemed to rub it in your face.

Hopefully in time you can be happy for your friend, but you didn’t ask for any of this and it’s understandable that it’s upset you.

Wow, some of these replies are absolutely heartless.

I feel for you op, I really do.

It was absolutely shitty of her to tell you on the day.

I'm sure 99.9% of the cold posters would feel exactly the same as you.

Im sorry your fiance turned out to be a bastard but do you think your friends boyfriend should have remembered the date and not proposed to the woman he loves on that date because you might feel sad about it?

or do you think your friend should have said no to his proposal?

Or do you think she should have lied about the date of his proposal for the rest of her life so you never found out?

Just know I wouldn't have thought of the impact when I was young (many moons ago! 😄)

It was absolutely shitty of her to tell you on the day.

She didn’t.

4 months is really not a long time for something so painful tbf

OP I can understand why you feel the way you do so I think the comments are a bit harsh however her boyfriend proposed so it's not as if she sought out an engagement that weekend. They may not have multiple holidays in a year in which case doing it while they were in Italy makes sense.

Aw isn't that lovely for your friend

and how kind of her to personally let you know the very next day, before you found out from anyone else or read it on her social media.