Boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear makeup “hates it”

[itsprobablyjustaphrase]

My boyfriend of 2 years has started making comments about me wearing makeup. I’ve never worn a lot of makeup, just some concealer, mascara and fill my brows in. Sometimes, if we’re going out I will put more makeup on, maybe some blush or eyeliner but it never takes me more than 5 minutes! It’s not a lot at all. I have nothing against people who like to do their makeup, I think it looks lovely on people, I just don’t have the skill or patience to do it.

Since Christmas he has been saying:

“You don’t need makeup”
“I prefer you without makeup”
“Your foundation doesn’t match your skin tone, look at this line”
“Why are you putting make up on you’re going the shop!”
“Why are you painting your face?”
“You don’t need all that”
“I hate it when you wear lipstick”
“Your lipstick is wonky”
“you don’t need all that on your face”

I wear makeup because I don’t like my bare face, it does feel like a security blanket to have some mascara on to open up my eyes a bit. I’ve always worn it, with or without a boyfriend.

Part of me thinks he’s doing it to be nice, but the other half thinks he’s being nasty?

I don’t know why this has suddenly become an issue. But it’s making me feel a bit down.

Aibu to think it’s quite mean?

Tell him you'll wear what you want and to never mention it again.

And mean it.

It’s up to you what you wear of course. (Is there any chance at all that you are wearing too dark foundation etc? Can you ask a make up counter person?)

Unless you’re terrible at makeup and he’s trying to tell you (and his comments make me think that), he needs to be quiet.

Tell him it's up to you and to like it or lump it, or dump him because he's turning into a controlling prick

Well your OP says you wear concealer mascara and brows only. But your BF mentions foundation and lipstick. Which is it?

Ultimately it’s your face, your choice and he should be more tactful. But maybe your foundation/lipstick does look a bit too obvious and need a rethink?

And so it begins.

That’s controlling. Has anything happened around that time? Did you get a promotion, or did a man speak to or compliment you? Did he get a confidence knock?

Sorry but he’s not “doing it to be nice.” It sounds controlling. What’s it got to do with him if you wear makeup or not?! How would he feel if you made comments such as “I hate it when you wear that t-shirt”?!

I do wear a tinted moisturiser (not foundation) when I am going out (should have mentioned that!). Maybe it is too dark, I’ll see whether I can get a better idea from a makeup counter!

My bf mentioned this, but nail varnish. I told him it was nothing to do with him and I’d wear nail varnish if I wanted. He never mentioned it again. Who do these people think they are?!

It’s your face and you do what you want to. If he doesn’t like it then he can get lost- dump him because you’re more than him.

Next it will be your clothes, then friends, then family, slippery slope
I would nip this in the bud right now, its controlling and I would be leaving him if he didn't stop
Put your makeup on, remember who the fuck you are and stand up to him

Wow. Red flags galore. Surely you know this isn’t right?

He's controlling and he's negging you to make you feel bad when you wear makeup. If you like yourself and feel prettier with it on, that's fine.

Do you tell him what to wear? Do you insult his wardrobe and try to put him down?

That's what he's doing to you. It sounds like you wear a very natural look but he doesn't like it and he's insulting you to get you to stop.

Even if your foundation is too dark (I saw someone who had gone too far the other way, yesterday 👻) his banging on about it sounds rather controlling. I'm expecting it won't be long before he's telling you that your clothes are too tight or too bright....

He liked you enough with it to get together with you. Why is it suddenly a problem now? 🤔

🚩

Yes it's controlling but so is when women say to men you cant wear crocs, grow a beard, wear your favourite old worl tshirt or whatever

Don't let anyone on here make you second guess your makeup choices.

If you're happy with it then wear it.

I never wear make up. The issue here is that he's making you feel bad or second guess your choices.
If you like wearing it, and feel better for doing so, go ahead. Do it for you.
He might not like it (I mean I hate DH's beard that he has at the moment) but when it comes down to it if it's what he likes I put up with, it's his face after all😁

Huge red flag!
it’s really not his choice but you know that.

Is this what you want from a relationship?

He is quite critical generally.

when I’m cooking he’ll tell me what to do, what to add etc. even though he’ll never cook.

he says things like “your t shirt is the wrong way round” even if I’m just going to bed in it.

when it was hot today he said going out in a crop top is like going out in a bra.

i am sensitive though and he’s said before I can’t take criticism.

If he was genuinely being it nice he would word it nicely, an actual compliment that you don’t need to wear make up because you are already beautiful.
What he is doing is criticising you, and telling you he doesn’t like the way you look. 🚩
This is the first step of control, making you doubt yourself, it will escalate.

when it was hot today he said going out in a crop top is like going out in a bra

Sorry, but I hope you replied to that with "so?"
What would his response have been if you had?
That's key here I think.

This is a massive red flag.

It won’t be your make up choices or the way you apply it OP. It’s him being controlling, and taking the first step down a very worrying path.

I would be reconsidering if this is a relationship I want to be in.

And having considered I would finish it.

You aren’t over sensitive. It’s what controlling, abusive men say.

Your update makes it all sound even worse!

He’s trying to control you.

Run for the hills and don’t look back.