Boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear makeup “hates it”

[itsprobablyjustaphrase]

My boyfriend of 2 years has started making comments about me wearing makeup. I’ve never worn a lot of makeup, just some concealer, mascara and fill my brows in. Sometimes, if we’re going out I will put more makeup on, maybe some blush or eyeliner but it never takes me more than 5 minutes! It’s not a lot at all. I have nothing against people who like to do their makeup, I think it looks lovely on people, I just don’t have the skill or patience to do it.

Since Christmas he has been saying:

“You don’t need makeup”
“I prefer you without makeup”
“Your foundation doesn’t match your skin tone, look at this line”
“Why are you putting make up on you’re going the shop!”
“Why are you painting your face?”
“You don’t need all that”
“I hate it when you wear lipstick”
“Your lipstick is wonky”
“you don’t need all that on your face”

I wear makeup because I don’t like my bare face, it does feel like a security blanket to have some mascara on to open up my eyes a bit. I’ve always worn it, with or without a boyfriend.

Part of me thinks he’s doing it to be nice, but the other half thinks he’s being nasty?

I don’t know why this has suddenly become an issue. But it’s making me feel a bit down.

Aibu to think it’s quite mean?

^ This will bells on !

Oh god, missed that bit.
Children are so damaged by men like this.
Hopefully the OP will reach out for support for her child if not herself.

The word boyfriend threw me.
If he is not your childs father? How could you allow such toxicity around your child?

Which this woman isn’t

This will only get worse.

Don’t waste decades on this twat. Like I did 🙄

Or fleeces with wolves on.

This has nothing to do with make up or microwave times. It’s about control. What you describe is text book early stage abuse.

It starts very slowly, you almost wouldn’t notice it. Comments on your appearance or your behaviour. Putting you down, making you feel insecure. If you push back, you’re told that you can’t take criticism or can’t take a joke. You start walking on eggshells to keep him from complaining.

Over time, it’ll get worse. But he’ll switch between making you feel shit and being lovely. Telling you that nobody else would want to date you and then bringing you a cup of tea in bed. Your gut will tell you that something’s off but you’ll rationalise it in your head because he’s lovely sometimes.

In 5 years time, you’ll be so downtrodden and lacking in confidence you won’t have the ability to leave.

@itsprobablyjustaphrasePlease please pay attention to what we’re saying. At the very least, do the Freedom programme so you can see the reality of your relationship.

Absolutely this.

Get rid OP.

If you were talking about a friend or relative making comments like this to a person they KNOW has a prior eating disorder - I would say with certainty... spend less time with this person.

If you don't have a chance to eat lunch until 4.00 pm.. - why should you also skip dinner... this advice from him is wrong , wrong, wrong. Why does he have to comment on an d try to control your eating patterns.

Im not even going to start on his comments about your weight but see first sentence.

If you were talking about a friend or a relative making comments about your parenting all the time, when you are playing with your child and telling you to be strickter with them - I would tell you to spend less time with them and tell them that you are the child's mother and it is up to you to decide how strict to be with them.
But its not clear if this is your child or the child of both of you and how old the child is - which makes a difference.. but I don't understand what there is to criticise about a mother playing with their child.

The make up issue - it doesn't sound like you wear too much - its your face , not his

Alll I can see in your posts is that he continually tries to micro manage you, nit pick and tell you that you are doing things wrong.

Go through all the posts you have written and bullet point them... Then read again to see how you feel about the way he treats you.