Boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear makeup “hates it”

[itsprobablyjustaphrase]

My boyfriend of 2 years has started making comments about me wearing makeup. I’ve never worn a lot of makeup, just some concealer, mascara and fill my brows in. Sometimes, if we’re going out I will put more makeup on, maybe some blush or eyeliner but it never takes me more than 5 minutes! It’s not a lot at all. I have nothing against people who like to do their makeup, I think it looks lovely on people, I just don’t have the skill or patience to do it.

Since Christmas he has been saying:

“You don’t need makeup”
“I prefer you without makeup”
“Your foundation doesn’t match your skin tone, look at this line”
“Why are you putting make up on you’re going the shop!”
“Why are you painting your face?”
“You don’t need all that”
“I hate it when you wear lipstick”
“Your lipstick is wonky”
“you don’t need all that on your face”

I wear makeup because I don’t like my bare face, it does feel like a security blanket to have some mascara on to open up my eyes a bit. I’ve always worn it, with or without a boyfriend.

Part of me thinks he’s doing it to be nice, but the other half thinks he’s being nasty?

I don’t know why this has suddenly become an issue. But it’s making me feel a bit down.

Aibu to think it’s quite mean?

I'd tell him that you've realised you also have terrible taste in men but you're going to do better starting now and dump him.

Its not his face

Well, what are you going to do? Because in your heart and in your head you know what he's doing. Are you going to wait around and allow him to control you bit by bit? Or are you going to run and not look back?

He sounds controlling and behaviour like this tends to escalate. Have a look at this image and see if you think any of it is relevant.

First your make up, then your clothes. Then perhaps your friends and your job ..... Your family. How you parent. Then perhaps how you speak and your very ideas.
OP if your boyfriend is one of those controlling assholes ( so many out there) telling you what make up or not to wear may be the tip of the iceberg. See above.
Tell him to stop it and that you will do what you like. And repeat. If he persists you have your answer.

@itsprobablyjustaphrase I'm surprised your boyfriend knows so much about makeup and fashion. That's highly unusual.

The majority of straight men are clueless. I've been surprised on a few occasions when I assumed women were wearing makeup, but it turned out that they weren't wearing any makeup at all.

Start critcising him all the time. Point all things he does all the time and see if he likes it.

Or better yet, show him the door. You don't have to put up with this. He isn't going to change no matter what he says.

Until my late 20s/early 30s, I was lucky enough to have never had problems with my skin, so my makeup routine consisted of grey eyeshadow and dark lip liner and gloss (it was the 90s, so don’t you dare judge!!)

Then following years spent TTC, where I had to come off birth control pills, I had a horrible period of spots and post acne dark spots/melasma that led to me using/overusing full coverage foundation, thinking that was the best way to cover the parts of my skin that really made me feel the most self conscious.

I’ve been with my DH for almost 15 years, he’s been witness to all of the ups and downs with my skin. At NO time has he EVER commented on the amount of makeup I should/should not be wearing.

I don’t say this lightly @itsprobablyjustaphrase but please LTB! The type of man who feels comfortable enough to pass comment on your makeup will soon be the type who’s ok to tell you what you can and can’t wear, then what he’s happy for you to spend your money on and finally who you can or can’t be friends with.

You can do better than this bellend.

Fuck that. He's a controlling ass hole.

Bin the boyfriend and keep your make up bag. No contest really.

I’m actually saying she might be absolutely stunning and it has nothing to do with him. Just for herself

Find your voice, use it. Tell him No! And get the fuck away from him
If you know you have tendency for passivity you need to work to find your confidence
Dont share finances, Don’t give up work and don’t get pg by him

Exactly this OP ..
I hope you listen to what women on here are telling you ..
He is controlling & you are doubting yourself, saying you’re too sensitive & can’t take criticism, you’re not too sensitive , pp is right ..
He’s getting in your head ..
Trust me when I say , these guys don’t change & believe me I know , I was with one for years , father of my children, thankfully my Ex for 9/10 years ..
Don’t waste years of your life with this guy .. He has shown you who he is , it will only get worse ..
x x

I'd have told him to get to fuck. No man comes between me and make up/nail polish. You should see my stash. 😅 One of my friends said I should sell it. No one wants used make up from ten years ago, except for some very niche collectors. (Lisa Eldridge and Erin Parsons spring to mind.) I'm not selling my nail polish either. That's newer but absolutely not! Took me ages to hunt down some of them.

Do not have a child with this man.
Please ensure you are using proper contraception.

I posted and when I did I didn’t realize how critical of you he was. so I take back about the makeup. He’s a louse, you know you can do better and I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Lose him and get your confidence back. I just meant you might actually not need makeup but it doesn’t matter. It only matters what you think , no one else

He's abusing you. (Coercive control. ) Leave him. He'll not improve or change.

First post nails it as usual.

He needs to STFU. It’s your face, not his.

Watch for any further signs of controlling behaviour very carefully OP.

And there we go …. More controlling behaviour.

OP this isn’t right. You must know he’s being horrible. Don’t put up with this!!

You are not over sensitive, he’s a dick. Personally I think the answer is bin him, but if you won’t- don’t take any more criticism. Ask him when he’s cooking dinner and say you’re done cooking until he’s done some meals for a change with you telling him everything he’s done wrong and you know he won’t be oversensitive about it. If he comments about makeup say I think you’re confused here- this is MY face, that one over there is yours, and I’ll put whatever I want on mine. Clear? So we don’t have to have this conversation again?? I’ll think you’re a bit dim if we do, someone your age should have worked out where your own face is.

I’d tell my husband if his T-shirt was back to front or inside out, even if it’s just nightwear.

Uts impossible to tell fro. Your posts whether he is being overly controlling or whether he just thinks you are naturally beautiful and spoiling your appearance with the wrong colour tinted moisturiser etc. Either way, you are not enjoying the criticism, so you need to tell him to stop.

you aren’t a decoration existing purely for his enjoyment. You’re allowed to look however you want and if he doesn’t like it, or it isn’t his preferred way, he can shut the fuck up. Tell him you prefer a man who doesn’t talk shit and isn’t controlling.

Tell him you don't like it when he tells you what to do and it's a massive turn off.

I would dump. Sorry x