Not to want my young adult son having sex in my house

[SunnyBlueLurker]

In my house?

New build. Thin walls.

His girlfriend is lovely (24), and he’s 23, but she has a lot of responsibilities. Last night I heard him say to her that he didn’t have anything on him (context must’ve meant condoms). And she said she didn’t either, both had a little laugh about it.

Heard him say to her ‘I love seeing you as a mum. I don’t mind if this makes that happen’ and off they went on their jolly jiggles! I was mortified. Mortified! As I say, paper thin walls and I was in the middle of texting a friend.

I have been exact in repeating what I heard to see if anyone other parents here would also find quite upsetting/strange and uncomfortable to hear.

AIBU not to want him having sex in my house? Or do I just blatantly make a lot of noise if I can hear them, or knock and say keep it down? Don’t think I’d have it in me to knock!

I cannot say this isn’t partly fuelled by the fact that I’m so worried he’s going to get her pregnant. What a disaster.

What do you think?

His dad sadly passed when he was younger so no other parent to ask about what they think.

Baffled by the number of posters who think it's a good idea for a man to " try for a baby" when he has known his girlfriend for 5 weeks and cannot afford to even rent.

Sorry but it’s he’s not his.
‘his’ means ‘belongs to him’.

Do you feel better now? 😶‍🌫️

As I say, paper thin walls and I was in the middle of texting a friend.

Don't worry - your friend can’t hear your son humping via text.

He soumds very immature and needy.
He knows her 5 minutes.
Does he work?
Is he building a career?
Or is having babies with the first woman he meets his ambition?

Don't hesitate to spell it out to him.
He sounds very naive.
Pussy footing around won't help him.
His fantasy bubble needs bursting.

I would say no more hook ups in your house.

I'm pleased to hear this mum has so far had some boundaries around her child (i hope you changed her name)

The fact your son thought it was appropriate to try and invite himself on this mums holiday with her child after 5 weeks is concerning to me.
Coupled with the conversation you overheard I'd be worried.

I hope you're able to have a conversation with him, but as he wants to shut talks about it down, I'm going to guess he won't take advice from you.
Is there a male role model/relative he trusts that he may listen to?

I hope it works in the future.

This scenario is mind blowing to me. 23 years old living at home, having sex in his bedroom of his mum’s house with a 24 year old girlfriend who already has children and lives an hour away.

Grown adult children treating parent’s home as if they are all flatmates, with absolutely no real responsibilities or experience of independence willing to have a baby. On whose buck, OP?

This is appalling entitlement.

It’s really OTT that he thought it was a good idea to go on holiday with her and her young child after knowing her for a month.

She is an idiot for agreeing to him meeting her child after a month, regardless of the circumstances.

This has disaster written all over it for one or both of them.

You'd need to ask my mum that, but I don't see why it's a problem? She's still with my dad (I'm the oldest) and she did a bloody good job of raising us.

A lot of children are born via accidents and unplanned pregnancies (my DS was) and are very much wanted. The manner of conception doesn't really matter as long as that child is loved. I was 35 when DS was born, before anyone starts.

There's always one!

I think we’ve strayed off topic here a bit. It’s your house and you can have any rules that you like but if it feels infantilising to tell your 23 year old son that he’s not allowed to have sex in your house then perhaps you could tell him that he is not allowed to have sex that you can hear. It’s called a private life for a reason. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to hear you having sex. He can have sex while you’re out or he can be quiet about it.
My parents admittedly didn’t live in a new build but tiptoeing across the landing for silent sex with my boyfriend (who was being made to sleep in the guest room) worked ok for my early twenties

He is absolutely entitled to have sex with his girlfriend. You are absolutely entitled not to have your ears invaded by sounds of him having sex with his girlfriend.