To think all MNers hate men?

[Corriganscans]

I’m a lesbian so I don’t date men and I like women both to have relationships with and as a species! I’m a feminist and share some of the views on men that seem to be very prevalent on MN. I don’t hate men though. I actually feel a bit sorry for boys and young men today growing up in a world that is very critical of them (a view which I’ll probably get flamed for which’ll further prove my point!) I struggle to understand some of the clear contempt and, often what appears to be hatred of men from straight women on here. How do you date/fancy/fall in love with them if you have such negative views of them? Or is it just that every single woman with these views just happens to have one of the good ones? I doubt it. Isn’t it not that different to a misogynistic straight man who hates women but is happy to date them (thereby pretty much objectifying them for their own needs)??

I think a very significant proportion of people on Mumsnet seem to hate men and take every opportunity to criticise them. But far more Mumsnetters hate thwir mothers in law.

I actually feel a bit sorry for boys and young men today growing up in a world that is very critical of them.

Men still overwhelmingly have the cards stacked in their favour.

The world is also and always has been incredibly critical of women - from Eve to the Daily Mail women are constantly scrutinised, found wanting and blamed.

Not all women hate men. I bet these women like socialising with men.

Men who have affairs wreck their homes, yet the term is only used for the women they've freely chosen to have the affair with. Women are held to vastly higher standards than men are when it comes to sexual morality.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_(slang)

"Karen is a pejorative slang term typically used to refer to a middle class woman who is perceived as entitled or excessively demanding. The term is often portrayed in memes depicting middle-class white women who "use their white and class privilege to demand their own way". Depictions include demanding to "speak to the manager", being racist, or wearing a particular bob cut hairstyle. It was popularized in the aftermath of the Central Park birdwatching incident in 2020, when a woman called the police during a disagreement over the requirement for her dog to be leashed in an area of the park."

There is no male equivalent of the Karen.

On the birdwatching incident when the Karen called the police on the black man:

""It was through that performance that Amy Cooper took on the mantle of an American archetype: the white woman who weaponizes her vulnerability to exact violence upon a Black man. In history, she is Carolyn Bryant, the adult white woman whose complaint about a 14-year-old Emmett Till led to his torture and murder at the hands of racist white adults. In literature, she is Scarlett O’Hara sending her husband out to join a KKK lynching party or Mayella Ewell testifying under oath that a Black man who had helped her had raped her. In 2020, she is simply Karen."

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/27/karen-race-white-women-black-americans-racism

I don’t hate men - I know plenty of really lovely kind considerate men.

however, yesterday I was chatting with a female friend at a friends wedding, her husband and 2 other friends husband were sat at the table adjoining ours. We were have a really good chat about our grown up kids and empty nest syndrome. One of the other husbands turned to us and started saying do you two ever come up for air, you just talk non stop !! He thought it was a hilarious comment - I told him to turn around and leave us alone and talk to his mates, but he carried on, and on, we ended up just staring at him dead pan - no comments and eventually he got the hint. These are the men I hate.

Personally, I can't say I hate them, indifferent to them is a better overall description. There are some that I dislike though. This is based on personal experience and observation so is not, of course an unbiased view.

I do have two friends who are fortunate to have lovely husbands, but they are the exception rather than the rule from what I can see.

Two things…

Racism is as bad as misogyny, yes. Both bad. But racism doesn't make misogyny magically not count.

The actual violence enacted in your cases was male. Yes, the woman was the catalyst, but the violence is male.

In my experience, married men who have affairs wish to remain married. So, by cheating, they’re allowing their home to be wrecked, but they’re not actively pursuing it, unlike many of the women who pursue them.

Also, I don't have an issue when people of colour correctly identity racism. If someone wants to say, ‘white people are a problem’ I’d agree, as a class we are. Men as a class are as well.

I love men, particularly Tom Hardy.

Oh and the irony was one of the other things we were talking about was why I’m still single and have never wanted to get married

Yip, men want to have their security and their thrills, ie have their cake and eat it. Women prefer to be in committed relationships. Yet women are the ones deemed cheap and worthless.

By cheating and lying, they are having sex they wouldn’t be having if their wife knew. They are circumventing consent. Which is utterly repulsive.

One day, she realized, her children would learn that the snarling little brat in their history books was their mother.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazel_Massery

MN is also very quick to call out women behaving badly - plenty of YABU.

I don't think it's gender specific.

All true, but there are women who pursue married men, with a view to marrying them themselves, despite have full knowledge of the fact that the man is already married, with children. They were perfectly free to pursue single men, but elected not to do so. This is where the term home-wrecker comes from.

I think women are tired of men’s shit. Some are decent, lots are really not.

you left 'pure' off the last hatred

Prince Harry before the self absorbed, obnoxious Markle, largely a likable fella.

Prince Harry after coming into her realm, as loathsome as she is.

The worst politician in the world right now? You will find it hard to find worse than a woman called Kristi Noem, a runt who wrote about killing her 14 month old dog "cricket", boasting about it in the process.

I know I'm using mostly american examples of horrible women, reason being they tend to have most of them, but this idea that women are all nice and light while men are vile is extreme ignorance.

'pursue' doing a lot of heavy lifting there! My DP is a great looking guy and in twenty years I guess he's been given the eye many times over. But he hasn't left me for anyone, and if he did, it would be entirely his doing!

Not sure about that. The threads I have seen where a woman has admitted to have slapped, pushed, shoved a partner etc. other women seem a lot more likely to tell her to seek help for being abusive than trying to mitigate the situation with alleged provocation.

I hate most the men that MNers post about, but why wouldn’t I, most the time it’s because they’ve done something that shocks people.
Let’s be honest whilst some women are awful, the majority of problems are caused by men.

Humans come in all different flavours but men commit 98% of violent crime. Men and women are different, regardless of the existence of unpleasant women.

I don't hate but I do dislike most men. My Grandad was an abuser and so was my SD. My first BF was also not very nice. They've grown up in a World where men dominate. They're pandered to by their mothers. A lot don't stand a chance.