Would this have offended you? DP comment in shop

[Heath78]

DP and I were doing a shop yesterday afternoon and walked down an aisle where we passed a woman who was picking something up for her child. She was in these sort of tight fitting trousers which were very flattering for her admittedly lovely backside.

When we passed and were out of earshot, DP turned to me and asked if I could buy trousers like that. I asked if he knew what the style was called and he said he didn’t , but he ‘just liked the view’.

He knows I am slightly self conscious with my weight, and wouldn’t wear anything really tight.

I suppose what I’m asking is, I think he wasn’t making an observation at her fashion choice, but was being sleazy about her appearance and made me feel bad in the process. Would you have been offended at this too?

So... you checked out her arse too, but are offended that your husband did exactly the same thing as you, and don't like the fact that he thinks you would look good wearing the same thing?

Am I understanding you correctly?

Sorry but you sound a bit hypocritical...

I’d take this as a compliment. Your husband saw a style of trousers that he thought you would look flattering in and tried to prompt you.
buy the trousers OP and try them on. You never know, you might love how you look in them and see something that your husband sees!

I think I'd have said a sarcastic 'Yeah, right' to my DH if he suggested it. I have one of those flat arses that doesn't look like anything in trousers. I wouldn't have been offended - he's allowed to find other women attractive; I find other people attractive too sometimes. It isn't as if your DH wolf-whistled as she bent down or sneaked back down the aisle to ask for her phone number.

I think it was a rude thing for your DH to say. It’s one thing to notice another woman’s arse it’s quite another to chat to your wife about it.

if he genuinely thinks those trousers would suit you there would be a more appropriate time to suggest them to you. In direct comparison with another woman is never going to make you fell nice.

You're being far too sensitive. He probably thinks the trousers would look good on you as well, especially if the woman was a similar size to you.

You admit you thought the trousers looked good on her and your DH did too and he thinks they would look good on you.
He didn't say anything disrespectful about the woman or you, he wasn't derogatory in fact he didn't pass comment about the womans arse at all.

You have negative feeling towards your body it doesn't appear your DH shares those negative feelings which is a good thing isn't it?

Why is it okay for you to notice her arse but it's "sleazy" when he does it?

This.

I’m struggling to figure out what you’re offended by here OP!

Woman looks nice in trousers so husband suggests his wife will look good in a pair too!

Why are you offended about a pair of trousers? It’s not like he’s asking you don nipple tassels.

I would not be offended. It sounds as if you don't like your own body very much, but his comment is actually quite positive in that respect. He doesn't think your bum is intrinsically less attractive than hers. He thinks your bum might look particularly attractive in trousers like hers. Think positive and maybe try the trousers, but in the size that you feel best in.

@Heath78

I think you've lost this argument by saying you checked out her 'admittedly lovely backside' too. Wouldn't really have cared if my DH had said what your DH had said, and would have laughed it off, but YABU, because (as has been said) you sound as bad as each other.

I’m surprised by these comments.

bloke likes the fact you can see a woman’s arse because her trousers are so tight and tells this to his girlfriend!!!

switch this around. You’re walking down the street with your partner and you pass a bloke with trousers so tight you can see the shape of his cock which you find admirable. And you tell your partner that. No?

So, your DH is the kind of man who sees a woman in tight fitting trousers with a great arse and instead of going "ooft, she has a nice arse", goes "ooft, my wife would look great in those"... You don't have a problem here, stop trying to be offended.

He's telling you he thinks you have a nice body and should show it off.
He is telling he he doesn't see what you see in yourself

His thought was ‘I’d like to see my partner’s bottom in pants like that’ I can see both sides though.

If he'd said "I wish you had an arse like that" it'd be an issue, he said "I wish you had trousers like that". I'm not sure that there are public-friendly clothes that show the shape of a man's cock but there are definitely times I've seen men in shorts and thought/said "you should get a pair like that" to my DH - not because I like the thighs of the man wearing them but because I like DH's thighs!

The LTB brigade just want to find something wrong with every man in every post.

bloke likes the fact you can see a woman’s arse because her trousers are so tight and tells this to his girlfriend!!!

That's not what happened. Why have you rewritten the OP?

Problem here, OP, is that he saw the same as you. Thought the same as you and immediately thought, I'd love to see Heath bent over in a pair of those trousers!

Because you feel self conscious about your weight, you heard, "Fucking Hell, that woman was well fit! If only Heath looked like her!"

I couldn't be with a man who doesn't respect me. Is he like this all the time?

That's not what happened though which is why you're 'surprised by' the responses.

YANBU, you say he knows you wouldn't be comfortable in tight clothes so he shouldn't be pressuring you to wear them just to please him.

That's not what happened though, is it?

He saw a woman's arse in nice trousers and thought "ooh, wife would look nice in those".

To put it into a clearer context. If you're out with DD, she's 3, and you see another 3yo in adorable wellies. You and your 3yo both notice the other child in wellies and both think she looks cute. You say to the mother of the other three year old "your DD's wellies are adorable, where did you get them from? I'd like to get a pair for my DD", would you expect this to upset your DD? If your DD burst into tears because she decided this comment meant you find the other 3yo cuter than her, would you reflect and think "yes, I did the wrong thing here, what I said was offensive?".

If not, you shouldn't be offended by DH here.

Is asking once if his wife would wear/buy that style of trousers pressuring?