Would this have offended you? DP comment in shop

[Heath78]

DP and I were doing a shop yesterday afternoon and walked down an aisle where we passed a woman who was picking something up for her child. She was in these sort of tight fitting trousers which were very flattering for her admittedly lovely backside.

When we passed and were out of earshot, DP turned to me and asked if I could buy trousers like that. I asked if he knew what the style was called and he said he didn’t , but he ‘just liked the view’.

He knows I am slightly self conscious with my weight, and wouldn’t wear anything really tight.

I suppose what I’m asking is, I think he wasn’t making an observation at her fashion choice, but was being sleazy about her appearance and made me feel bad in the process. Would you have been offended at this too?

Just the bum or the whole package. 😂
I wear sunglasses so no one knows wear im looking. 😎

I don't agree. He doesn't know what they're called. He brought it up when he could explain to his wife what he meant. If he said to her about it next week & had to remind her about this woman it woukd just look like he'd been thinking about her all that the.

@Heath78 we weren't there. We don't know your DH. But on the surface it just seems like HE thinks you'd look good in them, others don't see what we see. Maybe your bum is a log nicer to him than it is to you.

I wish I'd made the mist if my body when I was younger & not worried about the things I thought weren't perfect!!

especially since the stroke I've list z lit if muscle. I'm lighter/slimmer than before (great you'd think) but I've listened to all muscle & tone. Got 'old lady' loose skin everywhere and where my boobs were I have large empty balloons.

try to just enjoy having a more youthful body! & not worrying about your perceived imperfections.

What’s DP?

This m. More succinct than my waffle!!

He's not saying her body is substandard. He's saying HE thinks she'd look good in them. He might be wrong, but he might be right! Or objectively he might not be right (they may not be flattering but HE might still think they look good on her.

Tell me your single without telling me your single…

Do you always overreact?

DAUPHINOISE Potatoes

Dunno, because my husband's not an arsehole. We've been happily married for 25 years and managed to refrain from overtly sharing our appreciation of other people's bodies to each other. Or maybe we just prefer each other to other people.

“She was in these sort of tight fitting trousers which were very flattering for her admittedly lovely backside.”

You also looked so I don’t think you can blame him for noticing. Maybe he was meaning he’d like to see you in a pair like that. Although I would be a bit miffed if he said he “just liked the view” which means he liked looking at her arse…. Yes we notice these things but we don’t always have to say it out loud

OP's husband doesn't sound like an arsehole either

You are so missing the point that there's a real possibility of hitting you on the way back.

"this would look great on you"

and your reaction would be that he's an arsehole? Ok then.😂

Clutch your pearls and clench your arse a bit more

I think he may have been been paying you a compliment? You might be self conscious about your weight but he obviously thinks your ass would also look good in those trousers. Unless he 100% knows you wouldn’t, in which case it’s cruel.

What makes you think he doesn't respect her? I'm going with most PPs in thinking that he thought his wife would also look good in said trousers which is why he mentioned it. Unless he said something like 'I like her trousers its such a shame your arse wouldn't look like that if you wore them.', I'm not sure what the problem is here?

Disagree. If I saw a man with a nice bum wearing a pair of trousers and they would look as good on my partner, I'd tell him.

Your example is a false equivalence, he didn't say her "vagina" looked nice. That would have been odd.

We had this almost exact same situation last week I think it was. Are Mumsnet readers drawn to men that can't help but comment on women's arses?

Is it ok with you for Mumsnet readers to comment on men's arses?

I'm neither commentating on the arses or commenting on the commenting. I was just saying this exact situation came up last week

He wasn't giving you clothes advice. He was letting you know that he really enjoyed looking at her bum.

I'm so surprised that when people see a nice arse they think it's the magic trousers that are responsible 😆

Googling magic trousers that make my arse look nice

I've already googled. It's a myth 😆

I think it totally depends on tone... if he was saying it in a leery "wish your arse looked like that" way then definitely not ok. If it sounded like he genuinely meant it, and was just thinking you'd look nice in a different style, that's ok. Third option, he was embarrassed you caught him staring at someone's bum and came up with the trousers comment to make it sound like he was thinking about fashion not cheeks (I'd find that pretty funny tbh).