Would this have offended you? DP comment in shop

[Heath78]

DP and I were doing a shop yesterday afternoon and walked down an aisle where we passed a woman who was picking something up for her child. She was in these sort of tight fitting trousers which were very flattering for her admittedly lovely backside.

When we passed and were out of earshot, DP turned to me and asked if I could buy trousers like that. I asked if he knew what the style was called and he said he didn’t , but he ‘just liked the view’.

He knows I am slightly self conscious with my weight, and wouldn’t wear anything really tight.

I suppose what I’m asking is, I think he wasn’t making an observation at her fashion choice, but was being sleazy about her appearance and made me feel bad in the process. Would you have been offended at this too?

Also surprised by the comments.
Wouldn’t have an issue with him asking me to buy the trousers but telling me he “liked the view” is disrespectful. He was clearly ogling this woman. Why would you be ok with that?

Op was also checking out her arse (sorry, her 'lovely backside') - are you suggesting it's ok for op to do that, but not ops other half?

OP was "ogling" her too.

Making a silent observation about something that is in your eyeline is not the same thing as voicing your leery thoughts. Surely you don’t think it’s the same thing? Do you walk around with no thoughts in your head or do you silently make observations on everything you see?

Since when is it "leery" to comment on someone's clothing or attractiveness?

He wasn't talking to the woman in question or a random stranger, he was talking to his partner!

Context is everything!

It's not like he opened with that comment. He was suggesting that the trousers would look good on his partner! He wanted her to get some because he liked the way they looked. It was only when his partner questioned him further that he vocalised the observation that his partner had also just made herself!

Everyone makes observations on everything they see - you’re the only one who seems to have a problem with it.

It’s just ridiculous to think it’s fine for them both to think it but not ok for him to voice it to his partner, who is thinking the same exact thing.

To flip this back on you, do you really go around making silent judgement on people and hiding your thoughts from your partner?

Totally unreasonable for your partner to be telling you how lovely some other woman's bum looked in her trousers. We all notice how other people look, but it's impolite to keep it to yourself.

Everyone notices how other people look. But just keep it to yourself!

It's leery when you're a man checking a woman's conventionally attractive arse if front of your partner, who is self-conscious about hers and saying that you "enjoyed the view." And it doesn't make it any better because you refer to the trousers that showed off the arse before you refer to the arse itself.

Really?

So if you saw someone wearing something that you thought the person you were with would look great in, you wouldn't tell the person you were with? Because that's what happened.

The comment about how she looked came after because op asked a question that she probably knew he couldn't answer, and he clumsily tried to explain why he thought she should get a pair!

Is it leery when the woman is also checking out the other woman's arse?

You would be if it was because you could see the shape of his cock through it and you said you were enjoying the view.

Interesting how you compare checking out a woman's arse to checking out a man's penis. Surely checking out his arse would make more sense?

I think there is a major difference between saying "those trousers would suit you" and "that woman's arse looks great in those trousers."

Discreetly checking out the arse is natural behaviour for anyone.

Telling your partner how much you enjoyed checking out the arse is rude.

You check out what you check out. It's rude to share that with your partner, particularly when they are self-conscious about that body part.

Please post a link when you find them , I have a arse like a partially deflated beach ball and need all the help I can get 😁.

I honestly don't understand why it is so bad to comment on somebody else looking nice .
If OPs DP had gone over to the lady and said wow your arse is lovely I could understand getting annoyed,
But to mention it to OP and say she'd look nice in them trousers is fine.
If he said ' your arse is ok but hers is better / you could never carry that look off / I wish you looked like that' , that's obviously not ok.

Me and my DH were very happy with each other and had a very soild relationship and often ( discreetly ) commented on other people looks / clothes to the extent that on a few occasions we'd ask the person where they got the coat / jumper/ jeans from .
The people were spoke to unfailing took it as a compliment and were always happy to tell us.

Oh dear. What he was trying to say was 'your arse would look great in those trousers'. Yes, it was clumsy. But trying to make out like what he was saying was 'phwooarrr, check out the buns on her' with no context is disingenuous.

But @MasterBeth , you do you. Feel free to choose offence when none is intended. Personally, I like to enjoy life and not fixate on things that could have been worded better, when the intent was good. You, however, can believe that op has chosen to be with a man that is so stupid and unaware of people's feelings that he would comment on other women bodies in a way that was intended to cause offence.

Good - because he said the first one. Glad we agree he did nothing wrong and OP is being ridiculous.

He stared at a woman's arse and said he liked the view. If that's the same as saying "those trousers would suit you" then up is down and black is white.

I am happy for you if you live in a world where there are no men who would do that.

Don't strain yourself with that reach.

He didn't turn to her and say "phwoar, look at the arse on that" - he asked if his partner could get himself a similar pair of trousers because he liked the way they looked on a woman that OP was staring at herself.

That's not what I said. But I'm pretty sure you know that already.

It’s not the same though is it because she’s (assuming) a straight women thinking about another women whereas he’s making a comment to his partner about someone else. What you’re comparing isn’t the same at all.
No I don’t go around ogling other people and then commenting on it to my husband, and he’s never done it to me.