Last minute cancellation due to weather

[YoungTown]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off in this situation?

I had plans with a friend to go to an outdoor activity this weekend. It costs money to get in (£40 adult) and it’s not somewhere I would go alone (I do not have children). It’s mainly aimed at families. When originally organising meeting my friend I suggested the place so she didn’t need to get a babysitter for the kids and it would mean they wouldn’t be bored and I could still see her.

I text her a few days ago asking if she still wanted to go because the weather looked very hot for Saturday. She replied the following day saying absolutely they were all looking forward to it. So last night I bought my ticket because you get a discount booking in advance. An hour later she cancelled. Due to the hot weather. I don’t have much money at the moment and I can’t get a refund. So I’m now stuck with a ticket to a place that’s useless to me. She also didn’t even suggest another option or apologise. She just said it’s too hot and her children would struggle too much.

Obviously I can’t really insist she should come as it’s the children who would suffer anyway and it’s not their fault. But AIBU to still be pissed off that she left it to less than 36 hours before to cancel and leave me out of pocket despite me giving her an out just a few days before? I’ve just replied with ok never mind. There’s not really much else I can say. But I’m just so angry at myself that I’ve wasted that money. It’s a lot of money to me right now and I was only suggesting the place in the first place for her benefit.

Did you buy online? I think that for things purchased online there should be a 14day cooling off period

Why didn't you just meet in a park? And bit a costly venue?

But the dynamics change when one has children. Catch ups are different so I think the whole plan was a bad idea

Have you told her you've bought a ticket?! Perhaps sell it online for £30/20 just to get rid of it. Next time tell her to book first before you buy a ticket.

No but you still should have said you had bought your ticket!

Too late for this time but if I was meeting a friend at a family type place I would suggest buying a family ticket. You don't have to split it 50/50, but it would make it cheaper for her and she is more likely to make the effort

Bit OTT to suggest the friendship has run its course as she is cancelling due to it being 30 degrees plus. You should have said you’d booked a ticket, and maybe you could have all gone and kept it to a shorter day.

That’s a bit crap. How about telling her you already purchased your ticket?
Could you visit her home instead?

I agree. Why didn't you tell her exactly how her behaviour had inconvenienced you?

ETA I see you said why not. I'm afraid I'd have been making my feelings very clear though and I might not want to arrange anything with her again.

Personally for reasons such as this, I’d have probably not booked ‘in advance’ until last minute (the day / night before) and made it clear I was double checking specifically because I’m about to purchase my ticket. If they were non-refundable and couldn’t be date changed I’d have made that clear too. That way there is no backing out or at least she’d know shes being an arse when doing so.

Whilst its still a bit twatty it also sounds to me as though she perhaps didn’t actually realise you were going ahead with booking the ticket at that point and thought she had time to still back out which she may not have done had she known. So possibly just a case of poor / mis-communication.

I hate confrontation and I am not at all assertive and would probably have said the same as you, however if I had been clear about the fact I was booking when confirming the response and was more assertive I probably would have given would have said ‘thats annoying since you know I’ve already booked my ticket’ which is the polite version of what would be going on in my head!

Bit OTT to suggest the friendship has run its course as she is cancelling due to it being 30 degrees plus

I took that more because they haven't seen each other in 6 months.

If I was keen to see a.friend i.would suggest an alternative even if it's the friend inviting the OP round to sit I. The garden. while the kids play in the paddling pool. The friend doesn't seem bothered so I can see why the OP feels like it's over

I can see why you’re irritated. But I also see a few possible communication gaps - when you text to say are you sure, did you add ‘because I’m getting my advance, non-refundable ticket now?’ And when she cancelled did you say ‘oh oops. Following your last message I had just bought my non refundable ticket.’

Was/is she aware that you’ve spent money? If she was she might change her mind and go. Or as some PP have also said, can you contact the vendor and say ‘the group I was going with are now unable to attend because of the expected heat, can you give me a 6-12 month window to roll my ticket to go with them please?’

If that doesn’t work then try Facebook to resell tickets for £5-10 less than you paid, or just go anyway and enjoy it!

I'd tell her breezily that I had already bought the ticket so would be going anyway.

Poor of friend.

It would have been better to state that you were going to buy your non refundable ticket, and wouldn’t want to attend alone, so please confirm she was buying hers.

if you can’t sell the ticket and recoup some of your money, it being an event mainly aimed at families isn’t a good reason not to attend alone.

Yes just put the ticket on facebook-you can hopefully recoup some of the money (and maybe made her feel a little bit guilty if she sees the post!)

If it's a family place, check you are actually allowed to enter as a lone adult, I know some places, legoland discovery for example, you cant. You might get a refund that way.

When you double checked with her you should have said "great, I'm buying my ticket now". It's a bit silly being annoyed when your friend has no idea you are out of pocket.

Yes it's frustrating but you should have made it clear when checking that it was because you wanted to buy your ticket in advance. Surely you could have asked 'are you still up for this as it is looking quite hot. I am about to book my ticket now as the discounted prices won't be available if we book tomorrow. Are you going to book yours too?' or even simpler could she not have booked for you when booking for her and the children and you transferred the money so there was no risk of someone booking?
I think YABU for just accepting her cancelling without mentioning that you bought your ticket as she said she was up for it.

One of my good friends is super flaky and I never buy anything in advance. She does usually still come but is often late.

One of my good friends is super flaky and I never buy anything in advance. She does usually still come but is often late.

If I found out my friend had already purchased the ticket then I would have gone regardless.

Could you try and sell the ticket? I would have said to her are we still def on for sat because i'm going to go on and book ticket as its cheaper, beforehand. But she could have given you more notice or said because of the forecast I don't think its a great idea.

I would contact the company, explain situation, and ask if they will give you a credit if they can't refund you.

This is on you. You should’ve messaged to say - there’s a deal if we buy in advance. I’m buying my ticket at 8pm tonight, just sharing the link and triple checking we’re still on for tomorrow.

Same.

And for those saying, "Go anyway," it might be Peppa Pig World!

many posters are saying you should have checked once more.

this is a discussion i have with my husband all the time, he wants to double and triple check plans, and i don’t.

the way see it is that you agree to do something, you should just reach out if the plan is going to be changed/cancelled.

as the OP says. the weather forecast has remained the same all week, everyone knows about this heatwave.

It does seem that she is flakey, and perhaps dropping the rope is a good idea.

Having said that, how long ago did you organise it? It's very easy to forget something like "I will book in advance" if buy on the day is an option. It also does not mean that she knew that you had a ticket already!

I do a lot of hiking / outdoor type things, and a lot of the time four days is too far in advance to make a decision on weather. In thise last few days, extreme predictions can look a lot les extreme. 48 hours gives you a much clearer picture.