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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

209 replies

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:27

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 19:36

There's no way you can fence your bit off or put tall shrubs in? I feel for you. Are you living on your own?

Sorry, realise you have a partner. Has he said anything to them?

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:37

Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 19:36

There's no way you can fence your bit off or put tall shrubs in? I feel for you. Are you living on your own?

Sorry, realise you have a partner. Has he said anything to them?

Edited

I live alone, just my house with my partner here a couple of times a week. No way to fence it off unfortunately (although I'm going to B&Q in the morning to get some massive planters to at least block the kids from cycling around my car!

OP posts:
Azandme · 15/06/2025 19:39

Report them. I would.

Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 19:40

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:37

I live alone, just my house with my partner here a couple of times a week. No way to fence it off unfortunately (although I'm going to B&Q in the morning to get some massive planters to at least block the kids from cycling around my car!

You're going to have to report them but then you will have the arseholes on your back.

MrsGrowl · 15/06/2025 19:40

is the car parked opposite your drive on the pubic road? If so, not a lot you can do about that.
It’s families like these that give HA/council housing tenants a bad name. I feel for you. On the one hand you’d like to think complaining would mean it would stop, I would be fearful it could escalate and they could make your lives hell though tbh. People who behave like that don’t care about notifications regarding complaints about them.

I think id be dreaming of chucking the bikes into the road and not bothering to move them carefully and, if the dog shits, getting a shovel to sling it at their front windows or leave it on their door step.
In reality I’d probably turn my notifications off and up my anxiety meds, but that’s really no way to live.😞

Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 19:40

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:37

I live alone, just my house with my partner here a couple of times a week. No way to fence it off unfortunately (although I'm going to B&Q in the morning to get some massive planters to at least block the kids from cycling around my car!

That's a start x

Charel2girl5 · 15/06/2025 19:41

Sounds like a total nightmare. I don’t mean to be flippant but maybe get two Rottweilers and complain, complain, complain to anyone who will listen. Best of luck going forward.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 15/06/2025 19:55

Does the visitor car parking there mean that you can’t get in and out your driveway? If so then you need to try and complain to the maintenance company or whoever is responsible for the roads and see if you can get some lines along rhat bit of road? The rest of it you HAVE to fight fire with fire. Get all antisocial behaviour on camera and build a case against them. You need to keep a diary and better yet get yourself a body camera - there are some now that you can just clip on your clothes and they probably wouldn’t even know you were wearing it, and get every interaction with the neighbours on video. I’m not sure if you have to legally tell them you are recording for it to be admissible as evidence but even if you do I’d bloody tell them I was building a case against them because they will not stop obstructing access to your property and will not keep their children or dog off your land.

You need to get very serious with this to make it stop.

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:56

MrsGrowl · 15/06/2025 19:40

is the car parked opposite your drive on the pubic road? If so, not a lot you can do about that.
It’s families like these that give HA/council housing tenants a bad name. I feel for you. On the one hand you’d like to think complaining would mean it would stop, I would be fearful it could escalate and they could make your lives hell though tbh. People who behave like that don’t care about notifications regarding complaints about them.

I think id be dreaming of chucking the bikes into the road and not bothering to move them carefully and, if the dog shits, getting a shovel to sling it at their front windows or leave it on their door step.
In reality I’d probably turn my notifications off and up my anxiety meds, but that’s really no way to live.😞

Sorry, in my main post I forgot to say that road is entirely mine and forms part of my property. There is a clear divide on the physical road to show that the road is mine and immediate next door neighbour's (same with the other side of the t junction) and our deeds show our boundaries extend right across to the fence the other side. But I don't know if HA tenants receive copies of the boundaries or not.

OP posts:
Dilbertian · 15/06/2025 19:56

Why can't you put a fence up where the red line is?

If you can't put a fence up, can you put a locking bollard where the blue spot is?

Is your end of the T designated as turning space?

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?
Callie247 · 15/06/2025 19:56

I know it’s hard but I think I would have gone to the housing association long long before now. I think far too much has been allowed to slip by unreported which has only boldened them. Sometimes things are better nipped in the bud straight away before they get this bad. Surely your lovely neighbour will support you with a complaint ? That way it’s not just you, but list absolutely everything to them. They are probably breaking multiple clauses in their contract especially with the antisocial behaviour.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 15/06/2025 19:57

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:56

Sorry, in my main post I forgot to say that road is entirely mine and forms part of my property. There is a clear divide on the physical road to show that the road is mine and immediate next door neighbour's (same with the other side of the t junction) and our deeds show our boundaries extend right across to the fence the other side. But I don't know if HA tenants receive copies of the boundaries or not.

Unfortunately that is then a civil problem and would probably involve solicitors at a cost to you.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 15/06/2025 19:59

You really do need to start getting proactive about it as correctly they have you down as mugs. They will continue to take the piss and those kids are going to get older and more antisocial. I can see you moving if you do t deal with it.

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 20:00

Dilbertian · 15/06/2025 19:56

Why can't you put a fence up where the red line is?

If you can't put a fence up, can you put a locking bollard where the blue spot is?

Is your end of the T designated as turning space?

It's my property according to deeds but if I put something up my immediate next door neighbours (not problematic at all) wouldn't have enough space to reverse out, especially if difficult neighbour have their visitors double park. I don't want to make my considerate neighbours' lives more difficult

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?
OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 15/06/2025 20:01

Id report them to HA or get legal advice if a solicitor can possibly send somehtong about your property

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 15/06/2025 20:02

Can you put a gate across your boundary? I’d report, I’d also be chucking the bikes off the driveway!

KTheGrey · 15/06/2025 20:02

HA tenants are usually contracted not to behave in an anti social manner. I would make the list and report the lot.

Hankunamatata · 15/06/2025 20:03

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 20:00

It's my property according to deeds but if I put something up my immediate next door neighbours (not problematic at all) wouldn't have enough space to reverse out, especially if difficult neighbour have their visitors double park. I don't want to make my considerate neighbours' lives more difficult

Id put up a fence op. Tough if it makes nice neighbours difficult to reverse

shoofly · 15/06/2025 20:06

Can you report them using your lawn as a dog toilet to council dog warden/ environmental health? With evidence (on your camera) they possibly would issue a fine. I'd also diary and report everything else to Housing Association

Sunshineismyfavourite · 15/06/2025 20:08

Report report report. Get onto the HA. Keep a diary of all of their anti social behaviour and their trespassing on your property and causing criminal damage.

Yes, it might be awkward if they know you have been reporting them BUT they are going to continue to cause you a problem if you do nothing. If they threaten you because of this then you call the police.
It's not fair that these entitled idiots get to ruin your peace. They should be playing by the laws of the land like the rest of us.

I had problems with former neighbours in my old house; lots of noise, drug taking, children out at all hours, screaming matches in early hours. I called the police on them several times and they almost always attended. It's not OK for people to behave like this and basically ruin the lives of others around them. Makes my blood boil.

watchuswreckthemic · 15/06/2025 20:10

@pinkandpurpleflowers2025tenants in my experience do not get copies of boundaries as such but it will have been made clear to them where they are and what they can do. I’d def speak to the HA and find out next steps.
I’d speak to them sooner rather then later as they might be on a starter tenancy and they may be due a routine visit. Happy to elaborate more.

YodasHairyButt · 15/06/2025 20:11

Definitely fence. Your neighbours can reverse onto their driveway.

JLou08 · 15/06/2025 20:12

Based on that diagram I would think where the neighbours visitor parks is a public road. It seems unusual to have the whole end of the street belonging to one house. It's a similar lay out to mine, which is also a new build ,and is a corner plot at the very end of the estate. My boundary goes out about half way and the other half is a public road.

Frostiesflakes · 15/06/2025 20:12

Camera up
get one up higher so you have a better view of what they are doing
my camera record voice which is useful
see if you can get the other neighbour on your side

HA tend to be more proactive than council in my experience with anti social behaviour
but also be aware if you sell you have to declare this to any potential buyers

Personally I would report them anonymously initially that they are doing XYZ not just to your house but others and go from there

if it’s new they may be on a starter tennancy
also look up the HA and research there rules on anti social behaviour

MuggleMe · 15/06/2025 20:12

Can you do penguin bollards that your neighbour has a key to, or a gate across cutting you and your neighbour off from the junction that you each have a remote for???