Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

[pinkandpurpleflowers2025]

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

There is no way I would have put up with this. I would have demanded she remove her dog immediately and stay off my damn property. Any lip back then I am calling the cops. But then I live in the US and they actually show up here.

Just report them to the HA. It will be made clear in their tenancy agreement that they are not to cause nuisance to their neighbours or behave in an antisocial manner.
id have lost the plot at them letting their dog shit in my garden.

I had a neighbour that did the same with their wretched dogs, with a back garden reserved solely for their precious grandchildren. A week or so of my picking up after the dogs and chucking it over the fence, between back gardens, unbagged, sorted it out nicely. CFs abound.

I haven’t read all the thread so apologise in advance if this has already been suggested.

1. anti vandal paint on your fence. That will mark the clothes of anyone climbing your fence.
2. can you park your car across your drive- or in a way to prevent others parking there.
3. movement activated sprinklers on your lawn, to drench anyone/thing that uses it. Obviously switch them off when you need to.
4. any ball's which come your way you keep and destroy. As your neighbours sound like ducks I wouldn’t bother engaging with them. Also scoop up any dog crap and place it on your neighbours doorstep. Don’t engage at all if they come storming round.

If they insist on parking on your property, can you install those metal posts which you need a key to let down. Might be a pain to begin with but would certainly stop anyone else parking on your land.

😱 AGH! No no no no no no no. I do not and will never condone gun violence in any way, shape, or form. I'm so so so sorry it's reading that way and for any confusion it has caused!

My intention was the contrast of personal property laws in the US to what the law is with regard to towing in the UK since it's a criminal offense without the property authorities, even on private property. I was answering what was asked of me. It's a strange concept to wrap my head around, though the reasoning is meant to benefit citizens over companies, which is a good thing.

• "It is a criminal offence to clamp/block/tow away a vehicle on private land without lawful authority. Lawful authority to immobilise or move a vehicle is restricted to a number of organisation such as the police, DVLA and local authorities."

Yes, that is what I posted, the UK info to my fellow US poster on towing/clamping since it's very different.

I answered the question asked of me, noting that the legal difference about unauthorized vehicles on private property was an odd concept to me bc of the degree of difference private property is viewed over here since the stand your ground laws are an extreme measure against trespassers. Bc this is our norm, I think our responses reflect our surprise in how far things have gone without consequences to the neighbor.

Then, I went into storytelling bc I'm lonely, isolated chatty at times and find "DH's" ugly car being marked abandoned and to be towed slightly amusing. I just gathered the UK info on civil and criminal jurisdiction, information on the proper authorities, and links for reporting incidents for OP on both counts of trespassing. I'll post that info separately.

Also, this:
Parking solution

Parking on Private Property Resources

Please note: Escalation in the court system will be noted separately due to length.

The Metropolitan Police
Report antisocial behaviour using our online service.

"If you know the vehicle owner, our first advice would be to ask them politely to move it. After all, they may not be aware they’re causing a problem. [Note: This is generic and they also suggest a polite note on the windshield.]

"However, do not take the law into your own hands by intervening, such as making physical threats or attempting to move the vehicle yourself. You may make the situation worse and even risk committing an offence yourself."

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From Yorkshire Police:
"In most areas local councils have now taken on responsibility for enforcing parking provisions under what is known as Civil Parking Enforcement (CPE). You can check if your local council has taken on CPE: GOV.UK - CPE List

"If your council has taken on CPE, you will usually need to report vehicles that are obstructing a dropped kerb directly to them: GOV.UK - Find your local council

"If your local council hasn't taken on CPE, you will need to contact your local police force.

"The police/council policy for dealing with such matters may vary between forces/councils. Some police forces may only attend if your car has been blocked in and you cannot get out."

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A Landlord Website:
"[T]here is currently no legislation in place regarding unauthorised parking on private property... [I]t is regarded as trespassing, a civil rather than a criminal offence. So, even though unauthorised parking is frustrating, the police have little to no power to remove the vehicle from your property... Your local council may be more willing to help.

"[L]iability for removing the vehicle from private land, unfortunately, falls to the landowner, [and] is quite unclear. ... [Y]ou could pursue a civil case against the trespassing owner if they refuse to remove their vehicle. To remove the vehicle from your property, you’ll need a judge to grant the order in court. [...] [Check to see if] your insurance policy covers such expenses."

The Common Law on Trespassing
(Note: It's a solicitor's site so it's kind of an ad, too, but informative. It even covers what many posters have suggested)

"Trespassing occurs when someone unlawfully enters or remains on your property without your permission or legal right.

"Under the law, trespassing involves intentionally entering or staying on your private property without consent. This includes crossing boundaries, entering buildings, or even walking onto your land without authorization.

"Behaviours that may qualify as trespassing include:

• Unauthorized entry onto your property: If someone knowingly enters your property without your permission, it constitutes trespassing. This applies even if they claim ignorance of your property boundaries.
• Disregarding posted signs or warnings: If you have clearly displayed signs indicating that your property is private or marked with “No Trespassing” signs, anyone who ignores these warnings and enters your land without permission is trespassing.
• Failure to leave when asked: If you or your authorized representative asks someone to leave your property, and they refuse to do so, they are trespassing.
• Unauthorized use of property: If someone uses your property, such as parking a vehicle or utilizing your facilities, without your consent or legal right, it can be considered trespassing.

"If you encounter trespassers on your property, it is advisable to contact law enforcement and document the incident for evidence. Depending on your jurisdiction, trespassing can result in penalties such as fines, criminal charges, or both."

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Criminal Law
"[T]respassing is the act of unlawfully entering or remaining on someone else’s property without permission or a lawful reason. It involves intentionally disregarding the owner’s rights and occupying the property without lawful authority.

"The severity of trespassing as a criminal offence depends on various factors, such as the level of the trespasser’s intent, the degree of disruption caused, and whether any damage or harm was inflicted.

"For example, suppose the trespasser engages in disruptive behaviour, such as damaging property or threatening the owner or other individuals present. The act can be treated as a more serious criminal offence in that case.

"If you have trespassers on your property, here are the steps you can take to address the situation and ensure the removal of the trespassers:

• Assess the situation: Evaluate the number of trespassers, their activities, and any potential threats to your safety or property.
• Verbal warning: Approach the trespassers calmly and assertively, informing them they are on private property without permission. Clearly state that they must leave immediately.
• Document the trespass: Take photographs or videos of the trespassers and their activities as evidence if it is safe. Note any relevant details, such as dates, times, and descriptions of the trespassers.
• Contact the authorities: If the trespassers refuse to leave or their presence poses a risk, contact the local police or law enforcement agency. Provide them with accurate information about the situation and any evidence you have gathered.
• Obtain a civil injunction: You may consider seeking a civil injunction from the court, which is a legal order requiring the trespassers to leave your property and prohibiting their return. Consult a housing solicitor experienced in property law to assist you with the necessary legal processes.
• Seek a Possession Order: If the trespassers continue disregarding your warnings and legal interventions, you can apply for a Possession Order through the civil court. This legal order grants you the right to regain possession of your property and remove the trespassers. It is essential to consult with a solicitor to navigate this process effectively."

I'm in a similar situation with my neighbour and reported to the housing association and they really weren't interested in helping. They eventually asked the neighbour to keep her large dog on a leash to prevent it toileting repeatedly in my garden and jumping up on me/ running into my house each time the door was open. I have a small private front garden and they've ignored my telling them that the neighbour is still keeping her potted plants, ornaments and lights on it. The outcome is that said neighbour is badmouthing me to the other neighbours for reporting these issues and I don't feel comfortable being outside at all. I put a complaint into the housing association to say that she was still using my garden despite telling them she wasn't and that her dog was on my ring doorbell unleashed outside my door. Their response was that my complaint was not upheld and it didn't even mention the garden issue. They also warned me about using my camera to "watch the movements of neighbours" when I mentioned that my ring doorbell had footage of her outside swearing about me and threatening me. It's been very stressful and I will never seek assistance from the housing association again now that I've experienced how they handle neighbour issues. If you can avoid your bad neighbours knowing that you've reported them, I would. It's a horrible situation and I hope it'll be resolved without further stress for you.

That’s a good idea with living on a T junction only 1 neighbour on all sides. Need to remember that.

Good luck with your situation. There is some awful advice on this thread. Don’t waste money on CCTV or an insect repellant, and don’t bother with the council they won’t do anything. The only solutions are to reason with them (which you’ve tried) or park your own car there. Outside of that can’t see anything to stop it.

Hi @pinkandpurpleflowers2025 ,NRTFT, but if you report it on 101, it doesn't just get 'logged'.

I have a current thread/problem, and the solicitors here cost about £400 an hour.

Your best bet IMO is to keep a record of the incidents, and report anti-social behaviour.
Keep your ring dorbell recordings.

I would put bright dye or sticky paint all across the top of that fence.
After all it’s your property.

I'd put barberry bushes - year round interest and colour, can be pruned within an inch of it's life and you won't kill it, so easy to maintain at the height you want, but with spikes that can make a grown man cry!

Report these vile people. Hopefully they’ll get evicted.

Pepper on your lawn for the dog Rosa rugosa in your garden up your fences for the invaders and contact their landlord if they try to get snitty with you quote the law at them they are under an obligation to behave and their guests are too it will be in their tenancy agreement they just don't like enforcing it because it costs them money

Purple means you own it but it’s a ‘shared drive’ or designated turning area or whatever. You absolutely cannot block access to it unfortunately.

Please try NOT to report. There might come a time when you do want to move.
By law you must declare this and it might put off potential buyers.

Good fences make good neighbours
Put in a reasonable height (waist high?) fence to keep the kids out
Park your own car over the front of your drive

If that doesn't work, put up a notice saying any vehicle parked on your land without permission will be towed away without notice and do it
(You will need to first find a reliable local tow away service)

Anti vandal paint on the fence. He will stop doing it if it ruins his clothes, and also you will have proof if the mother comes to complain at you about it.

@pinkandpurpleflowers2025 perhaps put sprinklers on your front and back garden that activate to movement. Then if the dog tries to poo on your lawn he gets drenched and goes away. Same with the climbing teens, getting soaked a few times should put them off

Just by reading your posts has infuriated ME! This may have been mentioned but just to point out the pink hatched area in front of yours and neighbours plots usually means shared area to have access to by neighbours such as for reversing. You pointed out your neighbours using it for reversing and you cross theirs to get in and out. Thats what it's for but just for two of you it is not a public shared space, it's a right of way for your immediate neighbour to turn. It is your property though as outlined in red. Also usually you cannot erect anything permanent such as a fence beyond the front elevation of your house. Pop up bollards are not permanent though and is a really good idea to erect at the entry to the private driveway which you share with your immediate neighbour. I would absolutely report to HA as soon as you can. Approach the developer regarding the issue and also if you planning on putting signs, erecting pop out bollards etc as it is usually requires developers permission whilst the estate is being built and they haven't left the site. Just to cover yourself if neighbours report you to them. Absolutely hell of a situation, stay strong and confident. It is your property, your money, your investment and is to be respected!

I would contact the developers, make it their business, if they want to carry on selling houses this family need to know that their behaviour is anti social, also I imagine even more people move into the development they will be less tolerated. It’s a shame that they moved in first but once all the houses are occupied there won’t be space for them to park like dicks.

Anti climb paint might be unsightly but maybe a nice trellis top to fence?

@pinkandpurpleflowers2025 what do the nice neighbours think about them? Could you discuss with them how to tackle the problems in a way that they’re on board with? Agree with others you should keep evidence and go to HA.