Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

[pinkandpurpleflowers2025]

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

This. Why on earth have you not done this already?
Start standing up for yourself OP or things will just get worse.

Definitely talk to the HA. Take them a list of everything these neighbours do.

And contacting the developers is a good idea too, I agree.

On my new build estate we have quite a few HA tenants. They initially get a one year contract and it’s only renewed if they haven’t caused a problem. Several tenants have already been evicted for antisocial behaviour. Please make a note of everything, dates and times etc. Report straight away and say you’ll follow up with diaries and evidence. You don’t have to put up with these people as neighbours. Even after the year is up they still get a restrictive tenancy so it’s still a possibility to get them moved on.

No no, don't wait for developers and all of that. Go to the HA now and keep at them, every week, if they have just moved in, they could be on a starter tenancy and believe me, weekly reports, damage etc, they be gone by next year.

I work for a HA and we have had to manage moves because of difficult families causing hell for other HA residents and home owners. With enough reporting, evidence and consistency, they will be moved eventually or maybe they might humble themselves and stop it!

@pinkandpurpleflowers2025

Fences - anti-climb paint. Gets everywhere and really hard to get out of clothes.
Dogs in the front garden - tell neighbour you've just sprayed glyphosate and it will kill the dog (obviously, you haven't, but useful as a threat) - best for them to keep it off your property as you have no obligation to tell them you've sprayed as it is your garden.
Cars on your drive - nails in front and behind the tyres. You may have to put up with it on your drive a little longer, but it's just the way it is around here. You can only get them towed if they are preventing you getting off your drive, so maybe a motorbike in the garage?
Parking - drop in posts that your nice neighbour has a key to.

I had a similar neighbour, but I was less subtle. After a holiday, with neighbour’s dog having used my garden for two weeks, I shoveled up each deposit & flung it at their front door whilst ranting about rude people and poorly trained dogs. I know they were home and they must have heard each thump I tossed. It never happened again & I must have looked quite deranged because those neighbours seem a bit frightened of me now.

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. It's given me a lot to think about

Things escalated after my last post which is why I didn't reply sooner. I don't want to go into too much detail because I have a feeling someone around here has seen this post.

Anyway, they were confronted by another neighbour who saw them do what they did, and while I was unaware of this event I'd emailed the HA asking for them to clarify some things. I didn't name them but there's only 2 HA residents on the street and it's incredibly obvious it wasn't the other household

Between the neighbour standing up for me, the possibility of the HA contacting them about this and the probable realisation that one of their jobs was at serious risk if they were to be given an ASBO, it calmed down immediately on every front. Hopefully it'll last but only time will tell

I feel such a huge sense of relief.

I appreciate all of the help and advice. To those asking why I was letting them push me around and hadn't reported them already, I felt like I was in an impossible situation - had I reported them and nothing had come of it, I'd have to deal with their likely intimidation for a long time. I'm at least 4.5 years away from being able to move, and having a report of neighbour dispute could have made it a struggle to sell. I just want to close the door to my home and live in peace, so the part of grinning and bearing it was real as I'm a single mum and felt very vulnerable, especially as they were starting to get the neighbours to gang up on me with some social manipulation.

But for now, at least, it's peaceful. I hope it lasts

Thanks for the update OP. It’s difficult sometimes not to get invested in other people’s issues and then be frustrated when they don’t do updates, which of course is their right.