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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

209 replies

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 19:27

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
FlexiLime · 15/06/2025 20:57

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 20:51

The difficulty with this is that their house is pretty much on the bend, so my nice neighbours currently drive onto their drive, but then need the space on my property to reverse off, straighten up and drive off which I have no problem with at all. That's normal and acceptable usage. For them to reverse onto their drive they'd have to find a way to reverse all of the way up the road and around the corner. I'm not so petty that I would cause them that disruption

After reading these responses and realising I'm not being ridiculous and petty, thinking of emailing the developers anonymously (we are only phase one and they have another 2 phases to go) and asking for them to advice residents on parking before I even go to the HA and potentially making things worse.

But a fence and gate across their land shouldn’t cause an issue, or an electric one across yours that they have a remote for?

FairFuming · 15/06/2025 20:58

Can you park where the twatish neighbours are getting their visitors to park?

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:00

FairFuming · 15/06/2025 20:58

Can you park where the twatish neighbours are getting their visitors to park?

Good call. I've done that a few times when I'm expecting deliveries or moving vans. Have also stuck up a 'no parking, private property' sign on my fence which doesn't seem to have done anything :( They just don't care - which is evident by the fact that they literally park on anyone's driveway that has space (seriously, wtf?!)

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 21:00

Are the nice neighbours having to put up with this shit, as well?

PITCHpink · 15/06/2025 21:07

How annoying for you OP. I echo what others say, report and keep a note of everything anti social. These kind of folk don’t give two shits and their kids run wild and ruin the place for everyone else, particularly for those that own their property because they can’t just move as easily as someone who rents. Nightmare for you

angelandspike · 15/06/2025 21:09

Start it now, and go nuclear before it gets worse
I’ve been dealing with parking issues for over 17 years now and you don’t want to be in this situation

olympicsrock · 15/06/2025 21:10

You needed to report when this first started. I think you are showing them that you are a wet lettuce to be walked over.
make sure that you detail that you have made it clear that this is your private property and have asked them to stop multiple times and that this is last resort after trying to resolve the issue yourself.
record every date/ time that antisocial behaviour happens in musing in the past and going forward .
Their behaviour is massively antisocial .

RunningJo · 15/06/2025 21:11

As pp have said, report it, every time something happens, report it. Dates details, all the video footage from your ring doorbell.

I’d definitely get some bollards to stop them parking in your spaces. As for the kids and using your garden, some well timed sprinklers may work!
I’d bag any dog shit up and put it outside their front door. Not something you should have to do, but I wouldn’t be putting it in my bin (and bagging it is slightly less aggressive than shovelling it up and throwing it on their doorstep!), or leave it on the lawn and hope their feral crotch fruit kids stand in it!.

You could try a solicitors to see if a letter may help, something to explain the boundaries and trespass?.
They are beyond cheeky and I doubt you’re the only neighbour fed up with them and their entitlement!. But definitely report everything, you shouldn’t have to live like this because of people like this.

PinkPonieClub · 15/06/2025 21:11

Azandme · 15/06/2025 19:39

Report them. I would.

Unfortunately it won’t get you anywhere, believe me.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 21:13

This may be a stupid question… can’t you just have them towed?

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:14

Dangermoo · 15/06/2025 21:00

Are the nice neighbours having to put up with this shit, as well?

They only moved in a couple of weeks ago but yes they are also having the neighbours visitors block them in. But they can still squeeze out by reversing onto my property; I can't as the estate limits/fence prevents this so I have nowhere to go

OP posts:
pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:14

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 21:13

This may be a stupid question… can’t you just have them towed?

Not legal in the UK (I've already checked 😏)

OP posts:
catastrophickitchen · 15/06/2025 21:15

Can you mark the road in some way? Stripes of something?

catastrophickitchen · 15/06/2025 21:15

Or 'Private Property'?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/06/2025 21:17

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:14

Not legal in the UK (I've already checked 😏)

Sorry 😞 then I think fence with gate is the only option.

Pootles34 · 15/06/2025 21:17

Electric gate that starts right by your nice neighbour, that you both have remotes for. You can have a few remotes, so you can have them in multiple cars.

Carrotsandgrapes · 15/06/2025 21:17

Can't you and the nice neighbours put up a fence & gate that encloses both your drives/bits of road together. That wouldn't stop them reversing out into your drive.

fizzwhizz1 · 15/06/2025 21:17

Just report to the housing officer from the HA.

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:18

Thank you all so much. You've reassured me I'm not just being ridiculous/dramatic over nothing. I very much have a 'walk all over me' history and want to stop that

I don't want to be friends with these neighbours (or any neighbours) but want to be friendly and civil without making situations worse.

I did speak to a friend who works for the council within the traveller community section and she told me how hard it was to get an eviction. Again I do NOT want to get these people evicted but if they're going to stay for 10+ years I definitely don't want to create a hostile environment

Lots to consider. Thanks so so much. You've given me hope and strength

OP posts:
TheQuirkyMaker · 15/06/2025 21:19

If they don't care that they are being a nuisance you will have difficulty negotiating with them. Try to get as many neighbours on board as you can and make a joint complaint to the HA.

RunningJo · 15/06/2025 21:21

I did speak to a friend who works for the council within the traveller community section and she told me how hard it was to get an eviction. Again I do NOT want to get these people evicted but if they're going to stay for 10+ years I definitely don't want to create a hostile environment

i was going to ask in my pp if they were travellers as the only ones I’ve met have exactly the attitude you speak of.

I really hope you can get some help and it gets better

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:22

RunningJo · 15/06/2025 21:21

I did speak to a friend who works for the council within the traveller community section and she told me how hard it was to get an eviction. Again I do NOT want to get these people evicted but if they're going to stay for 10+ years I definitely don't want to create a hostile environment

i was going to ask in my pp if they were travellers as the only ones I’ve met have exactly the attitude you speak of.

I really hope you can get some help and it gets better

Edited

They are not, at least I don't believe so. Just so happens my friend works in that division.

OP posts:
Thejugglestruggle · 15/06/2025 21:22

Can you leave your car in the visitor parking area?

RunningJo · 15/06/2025 21:22

pinkandpurpleflowers2025 · 15/06/2025 21:22

They are not, at least I don't believe so. Just so happens my friend works in that division.

Ah sorry, my misunderstanding, but the behaviour you have described sounded familiar.

Violinist64 · 15/06/2025 21:31

These people are bullies. Nothing more, nothing less. And, like all bullies, their behaviour will get worse until someone stands up to them. Do they behave as badly towards other neighbours or do they reserve their special treatment for you? Whatever the case, you need to be logging every single incident of antisocial behaviour with times and dates. Also, make sure you keep the footage from their ring doorbell. The more evidence you have, the better. You need to report everything to their housing association and the local council. Advice from a solicitor, as has already been suggested, is worth every penny, too.

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