Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

[pinkandpurpleflowers2025]

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

This is one of the problems with new build estates- they all have an element of HA homes often mixed in with the privately owned ones. It would be better if they followed the old way where council houses were built in a separate area and all together. Of course privately owned houses can be owned by awful people and HA tenants are not all anti social people, but keeping all the HA homes together would mean fewer neighbour problems for the owned houses.

I would have already reported these appalling people to the HA and would have no qualms doing it. Whatever consequences there are, including eviction, then they only brought it upon themselves.

Yank here. Sorry if this is a silly question. If you can’t have it towed, what remedy does the law allow when someone trespasses by parking on your property?

I agree with finding a solution with your nice neighbour; one that involves a gate or locked bollard.
Large planters on wheels (that chain/lock into place) could be useful too. Research stretchy green plastic mesh too.

Fellow yank! I missed that one. I was so aghast I replied before getting through all the pages. (Sorry OP! I forget I can "see all" since I made an acct a few days ago. I don't usually login or comment. Two bullet points are moot.)

I got this on ask the police for laws related to clamping:

Private land
It is a criminal offence to clamp/block/tow away a vehicle on private land without lawful authority. Lawful authority to immobilise or move a vehicle is restricted to a number of organisation such as the police, DVLA and local authorities.
[...]
To commit this offence a person must intend to prevent the owner/driver from moving their vehicle. Therefore, clamping your own car to prevent theft would not be an offence. No offence would be committed where a driver was prevented from leaving a car park because the vehicle's exit was blocked by a fixed barrier.
[...]
We would suggest owners of private land seek legal advice either from a solicitor or the Citizens Advice[.]

You can record your own property. Record everything and hassle the housing association every single time. Also report to the police. I/ trespass and harrassment, and property damage.

God your neighbours sound awful! I would get CCTV for the front and back of the house and record everything they do on your land, It's also worth looking at getting some of those little plastic spikes that go along the top of fences and gates.

For the dog issue... There are a few scents that deter dogs. Citrus, chilli, vinegar, coffee to name a few.

Coffee grounds are actually a great dog deterrent and it's good for plants and lawns as well. Cafes will usually give coffee grounds away for free because it's a waste product. My local cafe used to give my allotment neighbour buckets full.

Good luck!

as It’s private land get a small car and park it up -sorn it so you don’t have to tax and insure it on private land - little tidy but old car and just park it up as a permanent blockage. If not get a retractable bollard fitted and give nice neighbor a fob for it - or I think you just install an app on your phone these days.

As for the mother you’ll have to log everything- it’s infuriating. I know they might be there a long time but children grow fast - sort the parking asap - the teenagers will soon have cars themselves and will be moving out. X

Report report all day long. I dont understand the mentality of people advising you to put up with this. Its exactly why the carry on doing it. Keep a diary and ring door bell clips etc. If necessary depending on the incidents it can go for harassment and be a police matter but definitely report to HA. ASB is something they will deal with.

Believe me we had neighbours similar and we left it to long to do anything about whilst it caused me no end of stress and illness etc

To reverse onto their drive, the Rational Neighbours don't need to reverse all the way up the road. They can drive up the T, turn right instead of left and just reverse past Headcase Neighbours' house.

How effective the HA will be depends on which one it is.
We are at the end of 5 years of absolute hell with a HA tenant. Complaints were from 4 different residents, I am the only homeowner among them.
5 years of diary keeping, endless police visits, broken promises from the HA. No matter how much we gave them there was never enough evidence to take to a judge apparently.

You absolutely should raise this with the HA, but be prepared for a long haul and make sure you know the law and your rights.
Regardless of what the tenancy agreement states, our experience shows it is basically impossible to get an eviction.
You should also find out who your local Neighbourhood Policing Team are. You are likely to be on first name terms with them.

Greetings, fellow murican! New Yawker here. 😂

So, if you rang the police, would they verify that the car was trespassing on private property and tow if for you?

Do you have pets? If not, I’d also get an ultrasonic repeller or two. Might stop the dog using your lawn as a toilet. Plus, apparently some kids can also hear these. By all accounts, fairly unpleasant.
Plus spikes for the fence as a ‘cat’ deterrent.
These are fairly innocuous things to do. I’d be very concerned that making very obvious attempts to deter them will amuse/provoke them further and their actions will escalate. Especially as the kids get older.

So sorry you’re in this position. I’d end up moving.

I think they should just bring in streets which are simply for ASBO's. Then the ASB ones can all live together in that one area, leaving the non ASB HA and residents to integrate with the rest of society. Should be a three strikes and your off to the ASBO street. They can shi£e and cause grief amongst themselves then and surely it's easier to police if they are all in one area? Same with ASB homeowners...three strikes and your house is repossessed and you're off to ASBO street.......then the rest of us can live in peace and have our homes and property respected. Obviously that would never happen but you could only dream....

They tried that, believe me it spills over

@MissConductUS lol I just noticed your username.

It's an odd concept to me bc we're very gtfo my private property here, esp. stand your ground laws (to UK: you can legally shoot an intruder in certain circumstances). Theirs has a basis in private towing/clamping companies just throwing the boot on anything and everything without checking.

It doesn't even take that much here! I have been in a situation where a group of us went out clubbing an hour away from home and got towed. So, I had to reach out to a friend in the area to let us crash so we could get the car in the morning. Though, it was at our risk and the truck rode around waiting...

Funny enough, when we moved to the Seattle area, bc "DH" can't seem to take care of cars or keep them looking nice (as he is running my first Jetta into the ground, much to my chagrin), he parked his paint peeling car in the front of the house on the street, which is, ofc, public. Our garage and short driveway is in the back and there is a little one lane drive between the houses, which is where I park. I looked out the window one morning like a week or two after we moved in and saw his car was marked up in bright orange and a boot for towing bc it was abandoned. He still had his SC license plate. Iirc, he was on a business trip that week. I'm thinking wtf?!?!?!

So, I called the town police (with my genteel southern hospitality voice) and was like I would like to know why our car is marked to be towed when it's in front of our own house and is what many neighbors do. The HOA here (for UK readers: Homeowner's Association, not like the housing authority in the UK, and meant to keep property values up) ...well, they check to make sure garbage is away in under 24 hours and know when your shrubbery is too tall 🙄... They don't like when cars don't please the eye, either. Bc the car hadn't been moved in 24 hours, it got the boot. The station apologized and took care of it ASAP (great use of taxpayer dollars, thanks) and said it needed to move every 24 hours. 🙄🙄🙄

So, depending on city ordinances, that could be something to get them off, too, if it hasn't moved in x hours. 🤷‍♀️

To US posters: a lot of your advice is not relevant here, as the legal position is different. Some of the parking issues do not fall within criminal law, hence police won’t get involved. Police do get involved if your parked car blocks or restricts a public highway, but not if on an estate road, drive etc. This is a civil matter, so one would have to sue privately.
Complaints to HA is the way to go. Evidence. I think it is the most effective route.

Honestly I also grow some thorny plants on your fence so hanging off it is a much less fun experience.

and a ring camera so any car damage can be attributed to them directly and they will have to pay.

Yes the tanking is of only 1 person family is as I they will dragged into be having by everyone else. Sometimes it works and sometimes the disaffected are just disaffected.

You should have nipped this in the bud ages ago. Why are you worried about contacting the HA? These twatty neighbours are twatting around on a number of other people’s gardens too. Report them anonymously to the HA and there’s no way they’ll know you did it. Say a number of other neighbours are fed up with them too.

What will happen first is that the HA will likely send a general ‘To the tenant’ letter out to all the HA tenants reminding them of the boundaries, parking provision, etc and not to go onto other people’s drives or gardens. If the twats ignore that letter, the HAs usually have an anti-social behaviour person that works with the police.

In addition, ask that markings be added at the end of your drive to stop people parking there. Also, put up bollards, fences and whatever to block your garden and drive off as much as possible.

The teenagers would be hosepiped, cars on MY property clamped and dog shit deposited back on their driveway.

Every. Single. Time.

A sprinkler system on your lawn that’s activated by movement might sort out the little shits and the dog!

But reporting is going to have to be the way forward

@pinkandpurpleflowers2025

Report! Report! Report!

Diary/log every single thing.
Get cameras installed for evidence.
Don't faff about with the developers - go straight to the HA, council, whoever you need to.

They're making your life a misery & trespassing/causing damage on a daily basis.

Get the back-up of your nice neighbours & maybe go for it together?

I’m echoing what other posters have said. The penguin bollards that sink into the ground sound a great idea for you and the nice neighbours.
Definitely the anti climb paint too. If the brat goes home caked in it then his grotty mother can try and wash it out of his clothes.
The front garden is more difficult though, is there no way of fencing it off so it won’t disrupt your nice neighbours?
The only other idea I can think of is putting trellis up on the fence to try and make it higher to see if the brat can’t scale that too.
The vile neighbours should be reported, you should be able to enjoy the home you’ve worked so hard to buy.

@EmpressKatarina, however badly the OP’s neighbours are behaving, a shooting spree really is not the best solution. In any case, shooting intruders is against the law in the UK. @pinkandpurpleflowers2025 has had a lot of very good advice and hopefully will be able to get relief from this very difficult situation.

A thin line of anti climb paint along the top will sort that out. Stays wet and sticks all over the place.