Neighbours - report or just grit my teeth?

[pinkandpurpleflowers2025]

TLDR: AIBU to grit my teeth even though it's eating me alive?

I moved into my dream home in January. I saved YEARS for this house, sacrificed everything to get it. I adore the house and can see myself living here forever. It's a new build so I'm putting my mark on it and making it my own

It's a brand new estate and while I was the first owner to move in, the 2 Housing Association houses on my road moved in just before Christmas. One family are amazing, we've been back and forth to each other's houses, they've been so kind and generous and helped me loads when I first moved in

The other house, unfortunately they're so difficult. I specifically chose my plot because it was the end of a T junction, only neighbours on one side, nobody to the other side or across the road. My property boundary covers right down my drive and across to the fence on the other side of the road. I am the only property with a front lawn, extending down the side of my drive and right across the cul-de-sac

Since the day I moved in, THOSE neighbours have used the end of my drive as their own personal parking. It's not a public road, and they have a double driveway AND space for a third car to park across their own drive but they and their (multiples times a day) visitors park on my property. They also randomly use other people's driveways which baffles me. Just park anywhere they want. So much entitement. The day the neighbours inbetween us both moved in they arrived to meet the estate agents to collect their keys only to find neighbour's mother parked in their drive. When I did mention how they couldn't park across my drive the mother shrugged and said that is "how it's done around here". THEY MOVED IN 6 WEEKS BEFORE ME!!!!

Their kids use my drive exclusively for their play. I'm not mean, I have kids myself, but their kids will turn my front garden into their football pitch. They're using my plants as their goal posts and have killed off everything I have planted. They ride their bikes on my drive around my car. They leave their bikes on my property for hours, and I'm having to clear 5 or 6 bikes anytime I need to get in my car.They kick their football into my car. I have been out there multiple times telling their kids to mind my fence and plants, reminding them it's MY property and that I don't want damage. The teenagers CLIMB on my fences. And then once I got my Ring doorbell set up I realised that they were letting their dog out to toilet in my front garden because they don't have one (they do have a back garden but dog apparently isn't allowed to use that...)

When I saw the dog out there I immediately went out and asked them to not do that, and the mother went crazy at me, telling me she was watching her dog. I have dogs, but I would never let my dogs out with the sole purpose of using someone else's front garden to have a poo.

Another day I saw the 14 year old son hanging off my fence, again went straight out and told him to get down, told him that he was going to get hurt but that he was also damaging my property. He apologised but has continued to do it daily. I don't have the money to replace or repair 15-20' of fence because he's damaged it.

I'm so worn down. After her behaviour over the dog I don't feel comfortable approaching her anymore. I'm mortgaged and as they're HA I reckon they'll be there for the long haul, and not that I want people to be evicted but that wouldn't even be an option by the sound of it which would make for an extended period of awkwardness.

I keep trying to tell myself to just leave it be, even if it means my property is getting damaged or my partner and I cannot both park on our drive because of their guests parking. If my immediate neighbours don't have both cars on their drive we can get in/out by using their drive (not that we should have to) but when both are home we are blocked in/out and with our jobs we are in and out at all kinds of hours of the day and night. Their visitors are very often there overnight. There hasn't been a single day since I moved in where one of their visitors or themselves haven't parked on my property

But I'm so fed up. What do I do?! How can I make myself just not let this get to me? Or do I report them to the HA? I've moved from a very quiet street where everyone kept entirely to themselves to this and while I love the house I am letting this let to me more than I probably should and it's spoiling what should be such a happy time in life in whatI thought would be my forever home.

I know how much you all love a diagram so attached. The other side of the T junction is exactly the same as my side with private land. And I make a BIG point when my kids are out there playing with the neighbours kids of telling them not to stray onto property that isn't theirs, but their kids freely cycle around the other neighbours [eyewatering expensive] cars and also climb on their fences. Tonight they were all playing hide and seek and letting themselves into any unlocked gardens to hide...

I'm just so torn between keeping peace, turning off the Ring notifications and suffering for the sake of my beautiful home, or speaking up (I'm autistic and dont always articulate well to others) and making things a nightmare for years to come

I have no plans to move.

As you've got footage of all this you have a clear case to approach the HA. This is clear cut Anti-social Behaviour (with a capital A!).
They will have signed some sort of agreement in this regard and will be putting their tenancy at risk.
Log, evidence and report. If the HA won't act then contact your local Neighbourhood Polcing Team and mention this to the HA if they prevaricate.
It's literally their bread and butter!
Their rights don't overrule yours - tenant or otherwise, the NPT would deal with owner occupiers as well but the HA has more clout for the tenants!
You want to be able to enjoy your own home 😊

You need to park where the visitor car parks so you can’t be blocked

Make a log of everything with time and date stamps where possible and log it with 101.

My household is having some of the same issues plus other antisocial and downright cruel behaviours from one of our neighbours and after nearly 2 years of it we've gone to the police. They're council, we are mortgage, I don't think they realise their actions can have consequences because of their position there. I lived in HA before. It's great when you need it but if you abuse it you can lose it. Which I'd rather my neighbours didn't have to go through but I can no longer cope with them. We are also autistic and not good with people.

Can you put up cameras around the house? They could be used as evidence at a later date… or pay some kids the beat up the other kids that are doing this…

A number of years ago we got an HA tenant removed for extreme anti-social behaviour (He was schizophrenic and needed to be living in sheltered accommodation, not in a 3 bed maisonette from which his entire family had fled) It was a hassle, but it can be done & is worth it. Try to work with the other neighbours, log everything, take photos, videos, call police as appropriate. Good luck!

They sound like bloody awful neighbours, selfish, entitled, poor role models for their kids

My house has exactly the same set up, two parking spaces in front of mine and my attached nice next door neighbour. It's the cheeky neighbours opposite who cause the problem, parking or telling their visitors to park in our spaces. I started parking smack bang in the middle of my spaces so there wasn't room for another car at either side (I only have one car). They really took the p*ss out of my nice next door neighbour as she also only has one car, they constantly parked in her second space, even leaving their car there whilst they went on holiday for a week! My nice neighbour now leaves a large but lightweight garden ornament in the middle of her 2nd space so they can't park there without moving it. It's not too bad as she doesn't often have visitors but moves it when she knows she has someone coming. We all own our homes so nobody to complain to but if my neighbours were HA or renting then I'd definitely complain to the HA/Landlord and I suggest you do too. What they are doing is anti social and the threat of being chucked out might make them change their behaviour.

Tell him next time you see him doing this “The next time you break in to my property over this fence is the time I call the police on you”. Then make sure you actually do! They are going to be a nightmare whatever happens so you might as well go all out trying to be able to enjoy your home again.

When I was a child we had neighbours kids that used to climb over our 2 metre fence and come and steal our fruit. My dad dug a deep trench next to the fence, which meant the drop was a lot further. It was always dark when they did this, so they wouldn’t have seen the trench. Two nights after it happened, we heard screaming. One of the kids had come over the fence, dropped down and broke his ankle. The neighbour went to the police, the police came to have a look, and my Dad explained that he had dug the trench to plant some shrubs. As the neighbour’s kid couldn’t explain why he was scaling our fence in the middle of the night, he got short shrift from the police. It didn’t happen again.

Family member works for HA they do take it seriously and will act.

You need to speak to the Housing Association.
We own our house which is ex council. When we had issues with neighbours, the HA were very hot on antisocial behaviour and boundaries. Quick to address and spoke with neighbours who received a warning.

They're no longer our neighbours, but it did settle instantly.

Bollard your spaces outside your house and then park where their visitors go - does that work?

I had a neighbour who used to have regular late night parties and fires in the gardens with parties making it v v difficult for me and my daughter to use the garden or relax in our own home. In the end, because I wasn't fond of the road I lived on. I sold up and moved, I now live in a slightly better part of town on a nicer estate and it's so much more peaceful. Neighbours either side are amazing and if they have anyone over for bbq it's usually in the afternoon's in the summer and everyone heads indoors by 10pm/ 11pm. I was going through a v hard time when I lived next door to this bloke and felt I couldn't continue longterm. Xx what im trying to say is give it a year /18months and if possible move. Im a single mum as well with a partner who stays a couple of nights a week and the stress with my medical issues wasn't worth it xx

A joint fence for you + nice neighbour seems like a good solution. Keep out the cars, kids, bikes, dogs and being blocked.

I'd happily lived in my bungalow for nearly 20 years when the neighbour from hell moved in. In the first week he started drilling big holes in the outside wall of my detached house to hang a new gate on causing a big crack to appear on the inside of my house. Things only got worse over the years. He hated that my deeds clearly said I had access through his to clear my gutters and he put up a 6 foot electric gate to bar my access. Because the area had loads of trees, my gutters totally blocked and I had to take him to court to force him to let me have access again. That took 2 years and during that time the blocked gutters made my house damp. He put a basket ball hoop beside my house and then spent hours every evening smashing balls into my living room and bedroom walls. He assaulted my DH on our drive after he asked him to stop smashing render off his garage wall onto our drive near our car (he got arrested for that but had to be released as no witnesses) . Just a few of the ways this man in his 30/40 s made my familiy's life a total misery. He kept making groundless legal threats against us claiming all sorts of nonsense and then dropping them once we'd had to pay a lawyer to answer the endless letters. My nerves were frayed, my DH couldn't sleep and the kids were scared to go outside in case he kicked off.
Anyway my point in telling you this OP is that we stuck it for 17 long years hoping he would get bored and move or just grow up. We loved everything about our house, (including all the other neighbours) except him. In the end DH and I just decided this had ruined far too many years of our lives and we were too old to take any more of this shit. We sold our lovely home in January and now live somewhere less perfect on paper but where we have peace of mind which is so much more important. Not having to worry about the neighbour has liberated our lives. People who've never had night mare neighbours just don't understand how this eats away at your wellbeing.
If I were you I'd have a go at contacting the HA and if that gets you nowhere - move. I know you don't want to hear that but honestly don't end up like us. Life is just too short. I now regret not moving earlier so much.
People will tell you to do this and that and how they wouldn't stand for it but honestly - they just don't get it. Some people just cannot be reasoned with and that is what your neighbours sound like. People who don't respect the normal conventions of basic neighbourliness are not going to suddenly change and may even get worse.
I'm so sorry you are living with this OP I hope you find a way to get through it x

Honesty op I think you should move. These people aren’t reasonable, they are arse holes, who will make your life hell. The HA will do nothing, they might write them a letter, but they will never evict them, and then the abuse will likely start.
You will not come out of this well, and the stress it will cause will not be worth it.

I lived on a mixed estate, and one family made everyone’s live hell. I didn’t realise until I’d left how much stress their behaviour had caused me. I would never live on a mixed estate again. Most families are lovely, but the HA either don’t care or have no authority to get the families to stop being anti social.

If I were unable to get onto or off my driveway because of a visitor's car I would put my hand on the horn - each and every time.
I believe if your car is parked on your driveway and you are blocked in, you can inform the police and they apparently will sort it.

I would report every single aspect of anti social behaviour to the Housing Association every single time

If they are new tenants with the Housing Association they probably have an initial trial period / 6 months before it turns into a permanent tenancy.

Thus you need to document everything, and report it every single time.
in writing i.e. creating a paper trial.

I really feel angry on your behalf! Some people just don't give shit!! 🤬

If you can get hold of some free filing cabinets, you can turn them into expensive looking planters that help block off a space.

Ring camera with the motion alert siren might be useful in sending them packing. It is far worse on young people’s ears.

When we were getting dog shit on my lawn from a neighbour, we made sure it was returned to sender in an Amazon parcel. Saved up a week’s worth. Put it in a box with a note. It stopped.

If they’re still building the development (you said you’re only phase one?) then speak to the site manager! I live in a HA new build (disabled, not feckless before anyone has a go!) in what was phase one (am a nice neighbour!) and the site manager was like a bloodhound with any complaints from any customers and to be honest, most of them hate us housing association tenants as some of them (again, not us!) are awkward I hate to admit it but it’s true. So he/she is likely to jump on it, especially if you’re a customer.

I haven’t read every post so not sure if anyone else has said this but you might be able to use your home insurance if you have the legal cover added to help you deal with this, instead of having to pay a solicitor.

i could write a book on the shitty neighbours I’ve had (and maybe I will one day 😆). It is the worst and it affects your enjoyment of the house you’ve worked hard for. Don’t let the bastards win.

Anti climb paint on the fence - you have to display a warning sign, but paint and sign is about £20 from screwfix.

Do you have anyone outdoor tap at the front? I'd be tempted to set up a motion detected sprinkler for anyone / thing going onto your garden.

You have to keep reporting them. They will eventually get serious warnings but it might take a while.

Make a written complaint detailing the story so far, giving the rough timeframe.

When the HA responds, there will be a name - call or email that person every time that they do something antisocial. Every day if necessary.

Make it very clear that you won’t stop doing this until they stop their antisocial behaviour.

Speak to the HA but before you do, make sure you log as much evidence as possible and also use their "buzzwords". Based on this thread "antisocial behaviour" appears to be one. Have a look on their website to see if there are others you can use.

Also check if there are timeframes for investigations of complaints and/or a need to respond to each complaint. The more you sound like you understand their obligations, the easier the HA will find it do to their job.

CONGRATS ON YOUR DREAM HOME! 💖

I see why this is the country of the queue. As a homeowner across the pond, I shall assist in your inner "Oh HeII Naw!" journey bc that was my reaction appx. 1/5 of the way through reading. Also, thank you for the detailed diagrams bc I was having trouble picturing it in my head from your description (a me thing!).

You have been way too nice for too long. I think it's why they think they can treat you like that. Don't let them disrespect you so much! You deserve better! They are so rude!!!

• I haven't seen any private property sign suggestions. Those should go up!

• Hard evidence is better for corroborating your side. I'm all for cameras. Ring has a ton of camera options and prime day is coming up in July when they'll be on sale. I'm looking rn bc I have the indoor and outdoor motion detectors, motion sensors on all my doors and windows, they do have a broken window device, outdoor lights with motion sensors (I don't see these on UK Amazon), alarm pads, almost the whole system for a few hundred USD. I personally bought their blink brand, though, for cameras, bc they're lower priced, both indoor and outdoor. I only have a couple motion sensor lighting accessories for the outdoor set. Wish I had gotten the non-wired. I only suggest since you have a ring camera and it is convenient to have them altogether and be used with Alexa. That's just me, though. Anywho!

• I second many things that have been said, but before that I wanted to broach upon legal action. I'm not familiar with UK landowner law, but I assume there are areas that would overlap and could get you a cease and desist type letter sent to them, after reporting to HOA and what, if any, actions they take. It's usually a more affordable option before escalating on a legal front, but most people don't want to have to deal with any legal reprecussions, regardless of civil or criminal law.

• Getting in with nice neighbor bc by now you surely would've spoken about this at least once, maybe? I imagine they're getting it worse as the direct neighbor.

• Speak with them, too, about how to block off your driveway that still allows them to back out, if you'd like, since you do stress wanting to keep up the good relationship.

• How are the spikey plants over there? Rose bushes, Holly Berry plants, IDK what one of the evergreens I have is called, it's red, but that is a very mean plant and I have to be very careful working on them bc the front slopes. I'm sure there are lots of pointy options regardless of location!

• And next time those bikes are left on YOUR property, I believe you just got several new bikes to donate decide when they can be returned! I would put those babies in the garage, shed, or just lock them up, depending on availability.

• Next time a car is parked on YOUR private property — heck! you can even put a warning sign up — get them towed!

Tl;dr: FAFO! ❗❗❗

Best of luck! And oh my! I used a lot of exclamation points. 🤭

@Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet OMG! Those blockers are actually penguins!!! That's so cute! I wasn't expecting that lololol.