Some mums need to cop on!

[coffeegirl73]

So my dd is 21 and at uni and her boyfriend is 21 and is there too. They live in different uni shared houses. So his mother drove nearly 3 hours last weekend to clean her son’s room and house in preparation for him moving back home for the summer. Apparently last year when she arrived to take him home he hadn’t packed or cleaned. I mean he is a disgrace but I blame his mum nearly as much. Ladies WHY would you do this for your sons…??? !!! I will be literally arriving and will help dd carry her stuff to the car. No way will be doing any cleaning - I try not to go too far into the student house tbh 🤮😷but honestly she is doing him no favours and it’s giving me the ick. Dd not too impressed but
she loves him 🙈I just hope it doesn’t become long term. But my point really is come on mums give your sons a sense of responsibility and independence and stop bailing them out and babying them. Tbh she does know a couple of girls who “can’t clean” and whose parents helped them. I mean ffs who’s raising these princesses lol

YANBU

I completely see your point. I bet it is that mum's deposit on the line so she is panicking. I'd have held my son hostage in that room and dictated each step of the way while I sat with tea and supervised. I'd have been really embarrassing with his friends and told him next year he best do it himself... but then I like being sarcastic and annoying. Might have brought some embarrassing stories or photos to show around, and then on moving day he'd be filling the car himself.
I do think we do too much for our kids. My parents did for me so I am trying very hard to change that with mine.

Completely agree. I can't stand women like this to be honest. They make things harder for the rest of us and they're disloyal too. Most of them only run around after men and boys too! 😡

you are 💯 it’s ridiculous. Jesus could you imagine your daughter staying with this useless article🙈

Mothers all need to remember we are not only raising our own gorgeous boys, we are also raising the men, husbands and fathers of the future.

My son is grown up now and a friend said to me recently, when discussing our sons and their families, that we have raised our boys to be the type of men we wish we had married. I think that is what we should all aim for

I'm wondering why she's with him.

I mean you’ve raised your daughter to go for useless men so I would start by worrying about that

Why are women getting the blame for a man's shitty, immature behaviour?

I don’t really see anything wrong with a mother helping their child in uni to pack, clean and move out.

I’m in my 30s and my mother has been helping me pack and organise to move!

There’s nothing about being a helpful involved family that means your children aren’t independent, lacking in responsibility or “princesses”.

YANBU. No one has helped me pack a suitcase since I was about 15 😂

I would have been so embarrassed during my ‘20s if I’d needed this level of help. I actually did have a Mum who would do everything, which my lazy siblings loved, but I could never abide by it, always looked after my own stuff and couldn’t wait to move out, do my own cleaning, laundry, gardening, etc. I found it infantilising.

I was disgusted with my brother when my Mum went on hol when we both stood at home how he left the kitchen filthy, couldn’t even be bothered to drop an empty microwave meal package in the bin right next to the sink, left wet towels all over the bathroom floor. In my Mum’s absence, I picked up all his detritus in the communal rooms and dumped it all in his bedroom. He was livid, well tough, stop trashing our house. I would never in a million years have my kids behave like my siblings did.

My own 2 have known how to drop dirty clothes in the laundry hamper and tidy up all their toys since age 1. Chores are not an option in this house. Bedrooms are tidied, plates and cups are carried to the sink, garden is watered daily, etc. I am determined they will both (my son and daughter) leave my home knowing how to clean, cook, do a food shop, pack a suitcase, drive a car, have some basic life skills.

Do fathers share any responsibility or is it purely down to women? 🤔

Because everything is women’s fault, silly.

it’s the woman that’s going there and doing the work rather than letting him deal with the consequences of his own inactions.

My sister did this for her then 20 year old son, and worse, she brought her 18 year old daughter along to help, meanwhile the 20 year old had fecked off somewhere and left them at it. Ridiculous

I think it depends whether she was helping him out or doing it all for him because he was incapable/unwilling. My DParents have helped me move house multiple times as an adult and likewise, if they were to move I’d definitely take a day off work and go and help them.

Because many women enable this same shitty, immature behaviour.

I think it depends on what she did for her son , a fairly quick check to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything, wash a few of the last breakfast pots , empty the bins , all fine .
Wash days worth of pots , deal with bags and bags of unwashed clothes, vacuum/ mopping all the floors , strip beds , def not fine.

There is a big difference between doing it for him because he is disorganised/ lazy or giving him a hand with the last few bits.

This 100%. Our adult niece refuses to learn to drive, my BIL would happily teach her/pay for lessons. She calls demanding lifts, if he refuses it’s her Mum who gives him a really hard time until he gives in. She drives herself, but makes it clear he must be the one to do all this driving that he disagrees with. So no incentive for her to learn to drive 🤦🏻‍♀️

No way

Yes, I agree. I helped both my daughters move out of Uni accommodation, and yes, I cleaned , but we did it together. And with subsequent house moves too.

Agree with this completely. I have helped siblings, parents and friends move. I have packed and cleaned. My parents/ siblings/ friends have helped me. Normal. Weird to think that you wouldn't do this! 🤷‍♀️

I have 4 boys who are absolutely wonderful they’ve been taught to keep clean/tidy etc etc however, once they are adults they choose for themselves how to live, thankfully my boys have lovely homes. HOWEVER, I am not their only parent and I can teach them how to live etc but they are their own people. And your daughter seems to like this lad? What does that say about her?…..so cop on to yourself and stop blaming women for men’s uselessness!!!

I'd like to assume she's just trying to protect her deposit, but (as a man) I personally find it ridiculous that a bloke needs such 'help'. However, I see it all around me. 🙄
From a friend who told me that "my wife sorts my socks out" to my ex's father, who literally didn't know how to boil and egg.

The mum is probably cleaning because she’s the one most likely to be paying the bill if the flat isn’t up to scratch when he leaves. “He gives you the ick..” well it’s a good job you’re not sleeping with him isn’t it. People with this mentality come across as smug and judgemental. Not nice qualities to have. Parents help their kids, it’s literally their job as a parent, whatever their age.

She probably thinks she can change him, bless her.