Some mums need to cop on!

[coffeegirl73]

So my dd is 21 and at uni and her boyfriend is 21 and is there too. They live in different uni shared houses. So his mother drove nearly 3 hours last weekend to clean her son’s room and house in preparation for him moving back home for the summer. Apparently last year when she arrived to take him home he hadn’t packed or cleaned. I mean he is a disgrace but I blame his mum nearly as much. Ladies WHY would you do this for your sons…??? !!! I will be literally arriving and will help dd carry her stuff to the car. No way will be doing any cleaning - I try not to go too far into the student house tbh 🤮😷but honestly she is doing him no favours and it’s giving me the ick. Dd not too impressed but
she loves him 🙈I just hope it doesn’t become long term. But my point really is come on mums give your sons a sense of responsibility and independence and stop bailing them out and babying them. Tbh she does know a couple of girls who “can’t clean” and whose parents helped them. I mean ffs who’s raising these princesses lol

So she went last weekend to do the clean but is going back again to pick him up next weekend.

I couldn’t get past the comment that said some men require training. I think it’s also up to the fathers to teach their sons how to be a good man and take responsibility being a parent. Why is everything always left to the women?

@Fratolishin this case his mother is on her own - he doesn’t see his father very much

It’s ironic to blame mothers for raising sexist sons, while simultaneously reinforcing a sexist mindset that women are responsible for the poor behaviour of men.
OP, you yourself appear to have sexist ideas about women.

@BrickHareyeh helping is one thing but taking over and doing it for them and you’re not doing the young person any favours.

@inkshow come?

Well someone just posted that some men require training and that it’s up to the mothers to teach sons how to be good in this world… so I guess these posters are living in the 1900 and haven’t discovered feminism yet. Wait till they hear about the being able to vote, the pill and abortion.

How do you know this know? You weren’t there.

I’m sure if the thread was about a mother helping her daughter, there wouldn’t be any near as much vitriol.

And does the dad making himself absent from his son's life make you angry too? Never mind the message the lad might get from that hey?

The irony of a thread about men being allowed off the hook when it comes to cleaning that lets men off the hook when it comes to parenting 🥴

@BrickHarei believe my daughter tells the truth! She actually felt bad when she heard his mum was back at the house cleaning while they were out for drinks . She tried to say to him he should go back and help but he said she liked doing it and he would just annoy her 🤣

@Fratolishof course - in my own situation my ex has buggered off and taken zero interest in his kids but this post is about mothers enabling their sons - I blame both son and mother really. She is enabling him to behave like a baby but he accepts it

But that truth is your daughter’s perception… especially if you have raised her to have the same views as your own. How old are you? You sound very young/immature with all the laughing emojis and thought process.

Can’t you just be happy that he has a loving mum? Not everything is a competition.

Can't believe you let him do that

@BrickHare I do agree with you that fathers should also be responsible for instilling the right values in children which is all the more reason for us all to raise sons to be good men so they can do that

I heard similar about girls

We were a house of 7 girls. I moved out early as I started FT work and moved in with DP (now DH). However the last week before everyone finished I asked when they wanted me back to give a hand cleaning the shared spaces. They'd already done it between the remaining 6 of them. To be fair though we were in that house for two years. When it came to deciding if we were staying after the first year we had some work done. Then we had an email from the landlord asking if he didn't put the rent up would we consider staying the next year. He said it was the cleanest of his student houses.

My mum would have done this for me at uni, willingly, without me asking!

I imagine he came home to his mother's house to find all of his pants ironed and put in a nice pile on his washed bedding. His favourite snacks in the fridge and his dressing gown freshly washed.

So you know exactly what it’s like to have a father wash his hands of all responsibility, and yet you are criticising a woman who is in the same situation.

@Fratolishhow do you mean I “let him” what Luke you do if someone won’t take your calls or speak to you or his kids. Once I got through to him on the phone and he just breathed he wouldn’t speak: what do you suggest with someone like that.

@Chocolateorange22correct!!!

Having children is a two person job. Both parents should be raising the child equally.

Well probably because it's the women who insist on doing it. When was the last time you heard a dad say..."don't worry son, I'll come on down and help you clean and pack"? My guess is never.

Wish my DD had been in a share with you, I was just as disgusted with the parents who saw me cleaning up their daughters mess and left me to it. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My gran was a landlady, she let rooms to working men, usually Irish labourers. She said she ,would never let to women again because they were so messy so just let to men. She was a proud Presbyterian but the local Catholic Priest would bring young men just off the boat to her, she once ended up with 4 in one room as they were so desperate. They were always clean and tidy.