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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when your looks started to fade?

202 replies

Triviall · 14/06/2025 16:33

Feeling a bit depressed, I split up with my ex a year ago (I’m 35 now) and worrying that he had all my best years and I will never find anybody because I am old.

OP posts:
Mischance · 14/06/2025 17:04

I am 76! I have dark brown hair with no grey and I have no wrinkles at all. Both family traits and inherited from either side of the family. I chose wisely!

But I would happily have a head of grey hair and a faceful of wrinkles to have my late OH back and to not be in pain.

Never satisfied, me!

LuvACustardCream · 14/06/2025 17:04

Late 50s and I think I look better now than I did when I was younger. This idea that only young women are attractive is ridiculous

Galadali · 14/06/2025 17:04

At 55 I think I look better than I ever have, and feel generally much more positive about life and it's opportunities than I did at 35. Seriously, you haven't even started yet! If you want your face to stay looking as young as mine - wear sunscreen every single day of your life and don't smoke. I'd look even better if I'd started these at 20 rather than 30 I'm sure.

Trovindia · 14/06/2025 17:06

Late 40s was when I no longer looked decent without makeup but in my early 50s now I still look great with makeup on, but without it I look old and my face looks like my mum's.
I would recommend staying face yoga now, but I don't think you can do much about your genes and ageing really.

MellowPinkDeer · 14/06/2025 17:08

My skin and everything are the best they have been i. my early 40’s! You’ve still not not peaked!! Get yourself a good serum and moisturise!

ArtemisiaTheArtist · 14/06/2025 17:09

I'm 47 and things are beginning to spread and drop now. I've always been plus sized but carried it off with a "cute" or "pretty" face. I blame my ex, my job and perimenopause.

screwyou · 14/06/2025 17:12

Depressing thread. Do men worry about their looks fading I wonder?

BIossomtoes · 14/06/2025 17:14

screwyou · 14/06/2025 17:12

Depressing thread. Do men worry about their looks fading I wonder?

Definitely they do. I remember a friend saying he’d have to go for a long walk with his vanity if he started losing his hair.

MaryGreenhill · 14/06/2025 17:16

Never. l think l have improved with age, or at least my mental attitude to my looks have .
You are still young OP get out there and live , and stop worrying about your looks going 🤗

Oollliivviiaa · 14/06/2025 17:22

Very specifically, 42. 🤣
I was doing ok and then woke up one day and thought "oh my god".

A few years later, I'm at peace with my "new look". Some days I look rough but when Im looking after myself, I'm OK most of the time.

neverbeenskiing · 14/06/2025 17:34

Oh no, no, no, no, no, OP!

I'm 40 years old and I am in my fucking prime. How do I know i'm in my prime? BECAUSE I SAY I AM.

I don't look like I did when I was 25 but so what? I'm not supposed to! I get my hair coloured and cut every 5-6 weeks, get my nails done every 4 weeks, take care of my skin and dress fashionably because it makes me feel good. If other people think I look nice that's an added bonus, sure, but it's certainly not the primary objective!

I am wiser, stronger, more capable and more interesting than I was in my 20's. I know more, and I have more to say. These things are important, but they are also sexy. At least they are to the men who are actually worthy of my time anyway.

GreyCarpet · 14/06/2025 17:36

I'm 51.

I don't think my looks have started to fade yet.

TurquoiseTortoiseToastyToes · 14/06/2025 17:37

I’m 42 and in the last few years became shocked at the way I look in photos - it did not match what was in my head. I’d put on weight and my face started to change, but I don’t think it was even that really. I’ve been through a tough couple of years and I think it’s grief I can see on my face now.

I've made quite a few changes in the past few months (health, fitness and skincare) and I’m starting to feel like me again. I don’t think I’ll ever look the same again, but maybe there’s a new kind of good?

I love the women on this thread saying they still have it at any age - I want to be like you!

dizzydizzydizzy · 14/06/2025 17:41

DM is 83. Her face is glowing, she has a lovely smile and takes pride in her appearance.

Lmnop22 · 14/06/2025 17:45

You’re looks only fade once you stop taking care of yourself and start getting down about them.

I’m also a single 34 year old but not worried that I won’t find someone because of my looks because all the age appropriate people out there are also aging and it changes what you’re looking for. Men in their late 30s don’t expect other women in their late 30s to look 18!

arcticpandas · 14/06/2025 17:47

I still felt great at 35! Now 45 I can definitely see that I'm getting older. But that's OK as well.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 14/06/2025 17:51

I agree @BIossomtoes most live in absolute terror of hair loss. And most men I know are more obsessed with their weight and fitness than their partners. It's funny that some people think some life worries are exclusive to one sex only.

chocolateangeldelight · 14/06/2025 17:53

About 30.
But it was also the age I gave up on styling my hair, what I weighed, what I wore. Started to shove my hair in a bun every single day. Got fat and wore gym clothes daily. Etc. Then at about 34 I decided I was sick of that and put in a real effort with my weight and style and I feel hot again!

Bridport · 14/06/2025 17:54

Get comfortable in your own skin and you'll still feel sensational at 90.

I'm 60 and when I was younger always felt like the ugly one. Now I look back on photos of me when I was younger and wonder what the hell I was thinking, I was gorgeous and so so young.

YYYDlilah · 14/06/2025 17:55

I'm one of those lucky few who are blessed with being beautiful, more so as I age.

FuzzyPuffling · 14/06/2025 17:56

I'm an absolute belter in my mid 60s, without any artificial assistance.

DontTouchRoach · 14/06/2025 17:59

‘Old’ at 35? Give over.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 14/06/2025 17:59

I'm 44 and feel more comfortable in my skin than I ever did in my 30s.

I've invested in a good skin care regime, I exercise and eat well and it genuinly has made a difference. People are usually surprised to find I am as old as I am (and that I have 3 teenagers).

You will find a new partner, not because of your looks. But because of your personality and confidence.

Belladog1 · 14/06/2025 18:01

I'm hating the demise of my looks.

I found love aged 50. My partner tells me every day that im beautiful ..... and i really appreciate that as I don't feel it.

I would say my looks have started to fade in the last 6 months, and now I've just started HRT and I feel old 😟

I tried botox about 3yrs ago, and it migrated and closed my right eye .... so i can't go there again!!

BreatheAndFocus · 14/06/2025 18:02

35 isn’t old! I promise you it’s not. I wish I was 35 again! It’s also not too old to start dating again. Lots of people don’t settle down until their 30s. Try to think of your ex as a practice run, a way to consolidate your thoughts and understand what you need from a partner.