Work colleagues found photos from when I used to do pole fitness and are mocking me

[JadeyFlies]

I haven’t done it for a while but prior to having
my 2 DC, I used to attend weekly pole fitness classes. These were really fun, and what made it brilliant was how supportive the environment was and how everyone encouraged each other.

I’ve mentioned in passing to a couple of colleagues about how I used to do this when we’ve been discussing fitness and routines etc. They seemed intrigued and the conversation moved on.

Fast forward a month, sat on lunch in the staff area and one of the girls I work with showed me a photo on her phone and asked whether it was me. I confirmed it was.

The photo was on the instagram page of the fitness group I used to attend and was from 6 years ago!! I have no images of this on my own social media, this is private, rarely used and I have no work colleagues on there.

It was a group photo so I was with 3 others but we were in ‘outfit’ so to speak so I wasn’t wearing loads of clothes.

One of my other colleagues (male) chirped up and asked me if I realised I need to declare second jobs to our boss (as in I’m a stripper), and another one said I should wear that outfit in front of clients as it would help us win business. So my female colleague had obviously shared this photo with them before.

I haven’t left a workplace in tears since I was 16/17, but I was so upset on my way home and felt humiliated by my colleagues.

I don’t think this is just ‘banter’ and in my view it crossed a line so I’d be worth considering reporting this? Or do you think I’d be better laughing it off as it won’t get anywhere

You are willingly being obtuse at this point?

I’ll keep it simple. The OP legally or policy wise did nothing wrong. Agree, Yes? Good now stay with me.

There is a difference between legal and policy and the real world that we all live in.

The rest of my advice is based on that real world we live in.

By willingly sharing this information with her coworkers she opened the door. Even if she reports, it’s investigated, and her coworkers are sanctioned (up to and including dismissal) she will be ‘the pole dancer’ at her job.

Now I don’t know about anyone else but that’s not something that I want to be known as or remembered by in a professional setting. The rest of the advice I gave is based on reality and not a policy book.

This is actually the second reply this week I’ve given along the same lines of work friends being different from real friends to an OP that has over shared or gotten the two conflated. It is good advice that I received early on and has been reinforced over my career by situations similar to the OPs and other professional sources.

You of course are free to disagree with me but please do me the courtesy of disagreeing with something I actually said.

I do miss the laughing emoji…

Well done for finally acknowledging OP has done nothing wrong. Most of us - judging from the responses here - would not think of OP as ‘the pole dancer at work’ despite your insistence on that being reality. I don’t believe OP has indicated that she thought these people were friends at all (though I may have missed it) so not sure why your advice on that is needed here.

1. In your workplace, this IS sexual harrassment
2. Your photos are no less than the holiday photos Julie puts on her instagram
3. Don’t cry. You aren’t ashamed , so don’t give them that power over you.

Why can’t people just let others enjoy what they do. It isn’t hurting them. I’ve taught pole alongside full time corporate for a very long time now, Shock,horror, it’s on my CV.

The attempt to use stripper as some sort of insult is boring in 2025. It isn’t an insult.

it really makes me cringe to see grown adults shit on others because the hobby doesn’t interest them.

Kids?

Yes.
There are teaching courses specifically for this.

@Whatevernext9 Oh FFS I said she did nothing wrong in my first post otherwise I wouldn’t have said to report to her manager or HR. Obtuse as a triangle, you are.

But Ms Lacking in Nuance, being not wrong doesn’t necessarily make you right.

I don’t believe OP has indicated that she thought these people were friends at all (though I may have missed it) so not sure why your advice on that is needed here.

They were friendly enough to be sharing stories of pole fitness with 🤷‍♀️ But if they weren’t work friends then the advice is even more pertinent.

If one’s going to use a laughing emoji… own it 🤣😂😅

🙄

Bullying and harassment won’t be tolerated by most decent workplaces, someone’s gone out of their way to find the pic to share it and then they’re all making derogatory comments. Totally within your right to take it to HR.

You seem awfully angry for the middle of the night.

I guess if all you’ve got is a hammer then every problem is a nail and anyone who disagrees will seem obtuse. This is not an issue of being ‘too friendly’ with work colleagues, so your advice on that is not ‘nuanced’, nor your angle acute, it’s simply irrelevant. There is no lesson for her here, despite you having a lesson you want to share. Unless you think there is something inherently shameful about the activity, she hasn’t been overly friendly in discussing it.

@spikefaithbuffyangel I'm sorry to hear you've stopped because of some twats on the internet😣 is there any chance you can buy your own and put it in your house? I have one where my dining table should be😂Every time there is an advert break on I have a quick spin lol As pp have stated it is excellent exercise. Resistance training as lifting you own body weight, requires flexibility, grace (not so much in my case) never gets boring as always a new move to learn, sociable classes. People of all ages and sizes. (Out instructor is a man and we have a 67 year old in our class who is AMAZING!) Please start back up again!

That goes for you too OP!

I still resistance train and do spin classes but all at home now so no real room for a pole. Just feels better exercising at home rather than where people can laugh at me

I 100% want to be known as “the pole dancer” at work 😂. Fortunately for me I haven’t encountered the horrible, judgy people from this thread!