Sitting in a Premier Inn

[sittinginapremierinn]

Was I unreasonable to just walk out - only for the night probably

Married 25 years to a sulker. As they all say, 95% on the time decent bloke, does his share, helped with the kids and dogs. But and it’s a big but every now and then he finds a reason to sulk. He pulls his faces, silent treatment, he’s ‘fine’, creates an atmosphere. I usually try to ignore, try to engage, wait it out etc. When he comes out of it he apologises and says he doesn’t know why he does it.

He’s been sulking all weekend for some misdemeanour I’ve committed, I don’t know what. I’ve lost it, booked a premier inn and walked out. He can sort out the sulk himself. Told the kids (18 and 23) I’m fine I just need a break. Packed a bag will go to work from here tomorrow.

I deserve better than that.

🫂 yes, you deserve better. Enjoy your evening, try not to dwell and give him more of your mental energy x

Good for you. Stay a few days and give yourself a proper break.

Good for you. I’m sure the three adults will manage just fine whilst you enjoy a bit of breathing space.

I don’t blame you.

Sulking is bloody awful to deal with. Glad you have your tech to MN on ❤️

Well done you 👏🏻
There are times I felt like doing the same but no Premier Inn nearby.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if it was a wake up call.
At least he apologises 😀

YANBU. It’s very childish and selfish of him to treat you this way.

I’m going to get a takeout and a bottle of wine.

Yanbu. Do this every time until he seeks counselling to try to fix this issue. I say this as a huffer myself, it’s something I’m trying to change as it’s not good. Enjoy your evening & watch some trashy tv

At least he apologises 😀

and then the cycle repeats over and over…. Meaning his apologies are worthless

Good, I’d do exactly the same.

Good on ya! Hopefully it will give him a bit of a wake up call, time will tell!

It's not going to change, he knows he can get away with it and when he's ready to come back all is rosy again.
You could keep walking out but why should you have to? He has the problem.

Well done! Enjoy yourself really relaxing today. If or when he apologises, tell him that it's not good enough to to say he doesn't know why he does it. He must know why is going through his head when he is doing it. He needs to sort out a way to cut off the sulks before they start, if necessary by getting counselling.

Excellent and not unreasonable at all. He is sulking to punish you for some minor slight he can't even explain and by leaving you are conveying that you will not be engaging with it.

If he sulks again, do the same, pointing out that you find it more pleasant to remove yourself from the atmosphere. One day you might decide you would prefer to make it permanent.

Great idea! Do the same every time.

Have the kids been exposed to this all their lives then? A dad who finds fault with mum then sulk for days? To be honest it should be him staying elsewhere but all the same, good for you. You deserve better and I hope you enjoy your evening.

Wepp.done OP. Sulking is horrible. You are completely right in getting away from that.

Good on you! I agree with the other poster... Do this every time til he gets counselling and sorts himself out. Hope the takeaway and wine is good, why not throw in a hot bath and a movie too.

In a way good for you - definitely better than sticking around to be ignored. However it doesn’t seem fair that you have to leave and you know it will inevitably happen again regardless. Is there any way you could think up some consequence to make the sulk an unappealing prospect in the first place? For example, I might try with ‘ok you are having a sulk, I warned you about this last time. However long you sulk just know I am going to refuse to spend any time with you for a period double the length of your sulk whenever you choose to get over yourself’ - and carry it out. Or, are there any things you do for him that you could stop that would have real consequences? No dinner? no washed clothes? No lifts? Whatever works really. And again for a period at least double the length of the sulk. Or even, that helpful task stops until a full (say 3 months) period without a sulk. See if you can get creative - see if you can make the sulks’ consequences too painful to be worthwhile indulging in it.

Enjoy your peace and don’t stand for it. I don’t know how you’ve managed 25 years of it, I couldn’t get to 2 years before I had enough, although I never got any apologies. He wouldn’t accept any wrongdoing.
If he won’t change, it sounds like there isn’t anything keeping you together now your kids are older. Can you leave or ask him to? A premier inn every time isn’t sustainable.

Good for you. Enjoy the peace without a side order of bad atmosphere. Sulking is so unattractive.

Good for you!

Well done. Make the most of it order a takeaway get a bottle of wine and stick a film on. And enjoy it, might make him think twice next time. And if you have access to his bank account use that to pay for it.

Good for you. Sulkers only get away with it because they can. My sister is married to one. He’d have been in the bin if he’d done it more than once with me.

Sulking and giving someone the silent treatment is actually emotional abuse. I’m sorry x