Sitting in a Premier Inn

[sittinginapremierinn]

Was I unreasonable to just walk out - only for the night probably

Married 25 years to a sulker. As they all say, 95% on the time decent bloke, does his share, helped with the kids and dogs. But and it’s a big but every now and then he finds a reason to sulk. He pulls his faces, silent treatment, he’s ‘fine’, creates an atmosphere. I usually try to ignore, try to engage, wait it out etc. When he comes out of it he apologises and says he doesn’t know why he does it.

He’s been sulking all weekend for some misdemeanour I’ve committed, I don’t know what. I’ve lost it, booked a premier inn and walked out. He can sort out the sulk himself. Told the kids (18 and 23) I’m fine I just need a break. Packed a bag will go to work from here tomorrow.

I deserve better than that.

Well no.1 I don't have a daughter, and no. 2 I just read the post differently... what's your problem?
Unless the PP comes back to say one way or another we'll have to agree we took different meanings from the post. No sure why that deserves the snark from you @Ducklove

🤨

True

Thanks for clarifying. Hope you're OK.
Ducky can rest high on her laurels that I was wrong.

@Overdonecabbage nope not gone back to the PI.
@Lucyliesdown yep he is reading through the books.
@Arraminta he is trying to change.

Update. He’s trying to change, not had a big sulk since I spent my night in the Premier Inn. Couple of times we had a disagreement about something and he started to slip into the sulk, I pointed this out and he managed to to drag himself back. It wasn’t like fairy dust and he smiled and frolicked, but he realised what was happening and went for a walk and tried to get over it.

He is aware of triggers and we discuss them, we’ve done this before though.

After my night away I discussed in general how doing something on my own was enjoyable and I’d like to spend some time away to re charge in a non confrontational way. I think it occurred to him that I could actually manage on my own.

Basically, it does seem to have been a significant shock, my bag is still packed and I have a plan if a sulk starts. I wish I’d done something like this years ago rather than trying to patch things up and just hoping it would improve.

Great update! Thank you for coming back. Sounds like he is really trying.

I was a but if a sulker when I was young (not extreme like your DH) but I did sulk and it did make everyone miserable. I snapped out of it by time I was 25ish, think it must have dawned on me that it didn’t achieve anything. I think it sounds really good that he went for a walk instead of a sulk,, then hopefully when he gets back a conversation. I think it’s great progress! Well done for standing your ground and going to hotel to get space.

After my night away I discussed in general how doing something on my own was enjoyable and I’d like to spend some time away to re charge in a non confrontational way

and have you managed to do things inc your own since then Op without him getting in an arse with you? @sittinginapremierinn

@Byekavita yes I’ve done a few things but nothing big. I want to go away to a nice hotel, or do a short city break on my own. I’ve always needed people around me and I want to stretch myself, it’s about me as much as him. I want to prove I can do it and if he wants to do something that’s brilliant.

I hope it’s not growing apart more growing up.

It’s something of a miracle that you sucked this up for so many years OP

Married 25 years to a sulker.

he sulks until I crack

What a way to live

and your kids will either think this is acceptable behaviour or think WTF is going on between mum and dad and why is dad such a fuck*ng sod to her

He sulks until I crack, I start crying, I lose my temper, I attempt to reason with him. It’s power, he wants me to need him. Then he apologises and (sometimes) starts crying, there’s drama and all we talk about is him and how he wants to change.

gross
just gross