DH is accusing me of cheating because DS “looks nothing like him” - wtf??

[Gamyerco]

Need to let this out cos I’m fuming. Been with DH nearly a decade, married 7 yrs, DS is 3. Out of nowhere today he says he’s been “thinking for a while” that DS doesn’t look like him and he’s not sure he’s the dad. Like… what??

DS has my colouring - brown eyes, dark hair. DH is lighter, blue eyes, dark blonde. But DS has his exact chin and same daft sticky out ears. It’s not like he came out looking like the postman.

Now DH is moping round the house, barely talking to me, keeps going quiet then saying stuff like “I just can’t stop thinking about it” and “maybe we should do a test”. I’m gobsmacked. Never even looked at another man. Had a bloody EMCS, couldn’t even walk for weeks after giving birth and now he’s chucking this at me?

Told him he’s being ridiculous and hurtful. He reckons he’s “just being honest”. Nah mate, you’re being a prat.

I honestly dunno where this is coming from. He’s never been insecure like this before. I think maybe it’s cos DS is all over me at the moment and barely gives DH the time of day, but still - accusing me of cheating? That’s serious. I’m properly hurt.

Has anyone else had this crap? Did you manage to move past it or is this the start of the end?

And this! Good point!
I forget how deceitful some people can be!

How thick would a man have to be to believe this

I know this is a very unpleasant thing to happen to you I kept getting phone calls telling me I wasn’t the father of my DD.
my wife had a fumble with this man she worked with at an office party when drunk ( not everyone goes for divorce papers).
turned out my wife got promoted in her job and this other man who didn’t get promoted and new about her indiscretion used it to get back at her for getting the promotion.
this a long winded way of saying sit down with him find out what’s going on with him depressed etc and tell him how hurt you are and you have been a faithful wife. you can’t jump to conclusions that he’s having an affair
his mental health could be bad just now
many a man has been accused of some terrible things when their wife’s are going through the menopause. They don’t expect to be divorced for it,

Both of those things could be the cause, but if you’ve heard him listening to those types of podcasts I would guess to some extent it’s to do with that. But could be both. I think there’s a thing at the moment with men/incels making out that I high proportion of men are raising other men’s kids. Calling them cucks. They just hate women. It’s pathetic.

WTAF? How do people who are so stupid actually get through life?

100% he’s banging someone else.

The more he accuses you of, the more he’s done.
“The bigger the front, the bigger the back.”

We are living in strange times currently

So sorry to hear you and your son are having to deal with this. What an absolute twat. I’d bet money on him cheating, no doubt in my mind.

It’s such a classic move - realising how easy it is to cheat (because they’re doing it) so becoming suspicious that their OH has done it as well, or feeling guilty and wanting to deflect, or wanting to leave and hoping they can get their OH to split up with them first so that the OH looks like the “bad one” to the kids.

My dreadful ex-H used to regularly accuse me of this, even though all three of our kids look extremely like him and nothing like me.

I found it brilliant when they all became adults and took ancestry tests to find out their genetic heritage as they are mixed race. Quelle surprise, they are his (durrrrrrr). Take that, arsehole!

(TL;DR — grounds for divorce).

I would bet money that he is cheating. Get your ducks in a row.

I can relate.

What the fuck are you talking about and what has it got to do with the OP?
MRA Reddit is that way 👉

That was in response to the sperm storage post! Quote fail!

This.

Tell the idiot husband to organise the test and get ducks in a row.

Well you sound like a very lovely person

Id be looking at gus online behaviour there's lots of angry male sites saying all fathers should get paternity tests. It's proper nasty stuff and if he's starting down that rabbit hole a paternity test followed by a divorceight he your best bet. What an utter fucking cockwomble

Bloody hell I hadn’t even thought about him faking the DNA test somehow. What a world we live in where that’s even a thing. Will make sure it’s all done properly, through a proper place, no chance of any funny business.

You might be onto something re the incel stuff. I’ve caught him watching clips of that Andrew Tate prick before, thought he was just doomscrolling and didn’t take it seriously but maybe I should’ve. He’s def been different since he started watching all that “alpha male” crap. Gets really defensive if I question it too. Says I’m “against men expressing themselves” which is just… no.

Honestly I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. Like someone’s crawled inside his head and rewired it. The trust’s gone. Whether it’s cheating or brainrot from YouTube I dunno, but something’s poisoned him.

I don’t even know if I want to fix it now. Just feel so done.

I think this poster is just pointing out that someone could be malicious & telling the OPs DH lies out of spite!

It's true though. Always a bloke who blames the hormones. It gets on our wick.

OP this is quite common when a mans fucking about. It's part of the detachment. Either way it's the beginning of the end.

I've read this stuff before. The lass agrees to the test and serves the divorce papers when the result comes back.

There would be no coming back from this for me. Good luck OP - hold your head high, there is life after divorce, and it can be a good one too!

Who’s blaming the man’s hormones??

I wondered that.
Just get a dna to shut him up/ flush out the real issue.

Tate et al are so, so poisonous to men, these people deliberately prey on insecurities to indoctrinate men to hate women. The comment about someone rewiring his brain exactly matches what can happen to men who let themselves get sucked in with this

It might be worth approaching it from this angle OP - telling him you know he's been watching Tate and he's been sucked in, and that he basically needs to choose between MRA YouTube and remaining married and living with his family

Other PP is saying you're doing that classic man thing of blaming the woman's hormones (menopause or otherwise).
Your words: "many a man has been accused of some terrible things when their wife’s are going through the menopause."
🙄🙄🙄
Men have proven themselves to often be shameless pieces of shit, time and time and time and time again. Nothing to do with anyone's menopause.

Well that makes perfect sense