Kept my son off school as school hasn’t done as asked

[Pashpash24]

My 8-year-old had a fall at school Tuesday this week. I got a call, as I usually do when he’s had a trip or bump — which I appreciate — but I don’t think they explained how bad it actually was. When I collected him at home time, he had a big lump on his head, bruising, a cut, and later that evening he started to develop a bit of a black eye. I honestly think I should have been called in to collect him and take him to the doctor — it clearly wasn’t just a minor knock.

Anyway, I kept him off the next day to rest and see the doctor who said he could go back to school but he is not to take part in activities. So yesterday, when I dropped him off, I went into reception and made it really clear: I didn’t want him outside at break and I definitely didn’t want him taking part in PE. They agreed and I left.

As I was driving away, I got a phone call from school saying his teacher has asked if it would be okay for him to go outside , as they like the children to get some fresh air. I was a bit torn, because I know if he’s out there and sees the others playing, he’ll want to join in — so I made it absolutely clear: if he goes outside, he must be sat in a quiet corner reading. No playing. They said yes, that was fine, and that they’d make sure he sat quietly with a book.

Well, he came home yesterday and told me he played football all break and lunch and did the full PE lesson.

So I’ve kept him off today. Not because I don’t want him at school — but because I feel like I can’t trust that what I’ve asked for is actually being followed. He’s had multiple knocks to the same side of his head recently (one with a hockey stick, another on playground equipment), and I was just trying to be cautious while he heals to avoid making it worse.

AIBU to keep him off today because of all this?

Me personally, I would have kept him off for a couple of days, especially if its towards the end of the week, as you then have the weekend as well.

I worked in a school and as someone has said already, there aren't the staff available to keep an eye on him. Most kids who had to stay in for some reason ended up with us in the office, which was awkward at times and meant our own staggered breaks got messed up.

So for my own piece of mind and mindful that school isn't a child minding service, I would have kept my DS off under the same circumstances.

To be fair, it's easier to manage long term disabilities, everyone is aware and there is a plan in place and staff whereabouts and break times are scheduled accordingly.

Staff resources are so tight that the temporary issues are the problematic ones.

I once had a child appear in the office with a post it note stuck to him from the teacher, asking me to deal with a toilet accident. The teacher had no TA, was covering two classes doing PE/dance in the hall and realised this child had poo'd.

Sometimes there just aren't spare staff.

Yes you are. PE is part of the curriculum if you didnt want him taking part because you feel he shouldn't because of this head bump then you should of kept him off the next day.
The staff are not there to restrain any child from taking part in playtime, again you should of kept him off if you felt this strongly.

You have willingly kept him off because you are pissed off at the school and therefore he's missed a day of education because of this.

Regardless of what the doctor said it was your decision to send him in. Next time get a note and bring that in instead of just telling them and expecting the school to make him feel singled out infront of all his friends.

I agree that they should of asked you to collect him if it's as bad as what you've described.

The GP advised he could attend school but not take part in activities. OP followed the doctors’advice and advised the school accordingly. If they weren’t prepared to follow the medical advice why did they agree to it ? Had something else happened and his condition made worse as a result, the school would have been liable. You’re so intent on pretzeling yourself to blame OP you haven’t realised you’ve actually contradicted yourself. You said OP willingly kept him off because the school ignored medical advice when she sent him in. So he missed a day of education. NOT missing education was exactly what the doctor was focusing on when he set the restrictions on him attending. Restrictions which the school ignored.

So, again, why did they agree school agree to it ?

So completely ignoring the medical advice then ? If the school couldn’t do what was asked of them, they shouldn't have agreed to it.

Or alternatively it could permanently damage him. Or worse. Would you risk it for your child ?

@Rosscameasdoody

No the school would not of been liable and its hilarious that you would think that. There was no proof that the doctor has actually said this though, only word of mouth from his mother. She decided to send him to school of her own accord regardless of what the doctor said or didn't say. The decision was up to her.

She then sent him in to school expecting the school to accommodate him missing a lesson which if he couldn't take part in she should of then kept him off for that day. She then decided that she was pissed off at the school and kept him off for THAT reason not the actual medical issue which resulted in missing a day for nothing apart from her being annoyed. Should she had of kept him off the day after the incident that would of been down to a medical issue.

The school didn't agree. The office woman agreed to it. What the office staff agree to is rarely asking if it can be accommodated within the school. They are not the ones doing the accommodating so it doesn't matter to them if they agree or not. What needs to happen is that the staff who are expected to do the accommodating should be asked with the option of saying no too. If they say no then that should be acceptable.

You wouldn't walk into a shift at Tesco to be told Janice on night shift said to a client you'd work extra for nothing and said it is expected because you should be altruistic in this job or else be labelled as shit or not caring for your clients.

School is not well run if the office staff do not know what to do with messages they are given by parents! They are the main contact point for parents - of course they should have made sure the message was passed to someone who would act on it.

I really hope the hard-of-understanding posters on here aren’t teachers.

Shocked you sent him in when you don’t think he was set for normal school activities,

He obviously doesn’t respect you as played durring lunchbreak when you had told him not to.

The office staff hold the power in our school. I know the school receptionist would email the teacher so they know and inform the support staff who supervise the playground.

I’ve had to do this a few times (unfortunately), Dd broke her wrist on Friday at school. I will send her in on the bus on Monday, email the school, pop in and speak to the receptionist and fill in a medication form as will need a dose of ibuprofen at lunchtime. I will give paracetamol before / after school and ibuprofen at bed so no risk of overdose.

This will be the fifth time I’ve sent a child ( not always the same one) in with a broken bone. They are well used to it. DS broke a wrist playing footbsll last autumn (also in school) there were more boys in his class , at the time, with fractures than without.

It’s really common for children to come a cropper and need a couple of weeks before getting back to normal. Schools can and do cope with this all the time otherwise children would miss out weeks of education over a knock on the head or a green stick fracture.

All those saying she is being silly. Concussion can take more than 24hours to show, hence the medical advice. Had he received another blow to his head and actually had silent concussion it could have been really serious. It’s not the schools place to over ride a doctors advice.

Totally. I did a really basic unit on neurobiology as part of a (non medical )course.
The lecturer stressed the importance of extreme caution and seeking medical advice after a head injury , using the example of Natasha Richardson, who didn’t seek medical advice after her head injury and later died of an epidural hematoma two days later. Just better safe than sorry every single time.
Really no uninformed teacher should be using their silly ideas about resilience to make medical decisions, ever.

He shouldn't be in school at all then if he is at risk of developing an epidural hematoma. Better safe than sorry.

I think it’s hilarious that you think there would be no proof of what the GP advised when the consultation record would be updated to that effect.

Maybe . Perhaps it should be standard to send children straight home with a nasty bump to the head then.

I think the school shouldn't have agreed to do as you asked and then not.

But I also find it odd that the GP said no activities. That's rather vague. Then he said keep him in at break for a week? A bit too specific.

I get it if they'd said, no sports or no physical exercise, but to specifically say keep him inside at break sounds a bit odd. Being outside is good, and also 8 is plenty old enough to realise they shouldn't run around. I would have sent your boy in and told him in no uncertain terms to not run around.

They are if it is nasty in most schools.

At age 8 he should have understood what he permitted to do and reminded the staff

another time be clear with him
and ensure he knows he can advocate for himself

If you couldn't care less if peoole think you are being unreasonable bit of a waste of time posting.

The thread is nearly 4 months old …. Bit late to the party 🤷‍♀️