Kept my son off school as school hasn’t done as asked

[Pashpash24]

My 8-year-old had a fall at school Tuesday this week. I got a call, as I usually do when he’s had a trip or bump — which I appreciate — but I don’t think they explained how bad it actually was. When I collected him at home time, he had a big lump on his head, bruising, a cut, and later that evening he started to develop a bit of a black eye. I honestly think I should have been called in to collect him and take him to the doctor — it clearly wasn’t just a minor knock.

Anyway, I kept him off the next day to rest and see the doctor who said he could go back to school but he is not to take part in activities. So yesterday, when I dropped him off, I went into reception and made it really clear: I didn’t want him outside at break and I definitely didn’t want him taking part in PE. They agreed and I left.

As I was driving away, I got a phone call from school saying his teacher has asked if it would be okay for him to go outside , as they like the children to get some fresh air. I was a bit torn, because I know if he’s out there and sees the others playing, he’ll want to join in — so I made it absolutely clear: if he goes outside, he must be sat in a quiet corner reading. No playing. They said yes, that was fine, and that they’d make sure he sat quietly with a book.

Well, he came home yesterday and told me he played football all break and lunch and did the full PE lesson.

So I’ve kept him off today. Not because I don’t want him at school — but because I feel like I can’t trust that what I’ve asked for is actually being followed. He’s had multiple knocks to the same side of his head recently (one with a hockey stick, another on playground equipment), and I was just trying to be cautious while he heals to avoid making it worse.

AIBU to keep him off today because of all this?

So get him a helmet if you're that concerned. Otherwise you are just wasting people's time wittering on about potential future head injuries. Let the boy spread his wings rather than crushing him under yours.

Totally agree.

What are we doing to our children? That kid is in for a rough road of complete and total lack of resilience throughout life and the helicopter/lawnmower parenting is off the chart.

Since I fear the OP will just dig in I suggest she starts researching shares in a bubble wrapping company.

They were lax when he was initially injured and then didn't bother to follow the medical advice they were told about, that he was to limit activities.

Yeah, I'd do what you did and have a talk with someone at the school about this. TBI can be very serious.

If your son requires that level of supervision and care after his fall, then he should be in your care until he is fit enough to be participating in his school day.

These seems like one of those threads where people are just determined to have a go at the OP!

Yanbu in the slightest.
Someone in my class at school sustained a serious head injury at school and was forced to carry on with the sports lesson with disastrous consequences. It didn’t end well and ended in a lengthy legal battle , and obviously a career over for the member of staff involved. I remember it well as we were all asked to give witness statements as children.
Head injuries, you just don’t mess around with. Which is exactly why the doctor gave specific orders which you gave to school.
Negligent of them.

Just keep him home if you are worried. But he is old enough to follow instructions isn't he? Why didn't he listen to you when told not to play sport or run around? He should be fine to return as normal Monday and do sport.

Agreed!! FFS people - she's already explained (multiple times!) that she's not a snowflake parent - she was following medical advice after a serious head injury on the same part of his head that has recently had 2 other significant impacts!! She sounds perfectly calm & reasonable & isn't out to get the school!! Yes, her son should have spoken up & not done the activities he knew he wasn't supposed to do but he's not the caretaking adult in the scenarios.

YABVU! The 24 hours would have been a precaution, and if your child wasn't well enough to be in school playing with other children then he shouldn't have been in school.
For children with broken limbs it takes a lot of organisation for staff to be available for that child to stay inside over break.

He's had a little bump. He's fine. He should be in school, learning, and also able to play with his friends.

Not really; my child plays a high impact sport and has had a concussion in the past they don't say send them to school but tell the school no activities - they say to keep the child off school. Because reading and writing as well as bright lights and screens can all affect recovery!
If the Dr said he was okay for school that means okay for all school activities!

You went to the doctor and got good advice. Head injuries are not like knee or leg injuries. The head is a vulnerable area and I agree the last thing he needs is another accident in that area. I should keep him off today and together with the weekend give his head a chance to heal.

You’d be perfectly within your rights to complain about this, absolutely.
But did you keep him off school because you were angry or because you genuinely thought he wasn’t well enough to go back? Because if it’s the latter, fine. But if it’s the former that’s a little bit cutting your nose off to spite your face.
Hope your son is ok as it’s sounds nasty.

Do what you feel is best for your son given the knowledge you have of him, his ability to follow orders, the extent of his injury and your concern. Xx

This thread is a wonderful test of reading comprehension.

The doctor literally said no activities.

The doctor - not the mother.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I wish I never post on here. My son is a very active 8 year old. He doesn’t own an iPad or phone or a PlayStation. He comes straight in from school and plays in the back garden for hours and plays out on the street. Do you think if I was a type of mother to Mollycoddle him he would do all of this?? I couldn’t care less if people think I’m being unreasonable I’ve done the exact thing that I should’ve done.

The people saying back in my day we did XYZ. Things are different things move forward. My son is 8 and they’re not allowed to head the ball in football because it’s been scientifically proven it can cause increased risk of brain injury. but I guess we’re just being a snowflakes again 🙄

Also I’ll say it again. He wasn’t concussed. If he was concussed, he’d have been off school. The doctor said he can go back to school but just keep him out of the way of being hit in the head again.

Except in this case the doctor said no activities.

My son who got a concussion playing rugby at school was allowed back to school after attending A&E and seeing a paediatric consultant but with no sport for 3 weeks. I went by his advice - not some random on the Internet giving me different advice.

No idea why people complain about not being able to get GP appointments these days.
When they can just logon to mumsnet and get a diagnoses and medical advice in seconds 🙄

I also wondered who was expected to look after him. Unless they run an indoor club, you’re expecting the teacher to go without any dinner or a loo break. And at break time, teachers will often be on duty in the playground so not even available to sit inside. Probably was best to keep him off today.

You said I think, that the Receptionist said he could sit in. What authority do you think she has?

Sound OTT to me

Why are you not blaming your son for going against medical advice. He is 8 not 3! If he is not responsible enough to do as he's told that, that is on his upbringing.
If your ds had some longterm medical need, then the school would need to provide adjustments. You and your dozey doctor cannot dictate the schools operating procedure for a short term thing like this. You keep him off. Who do you imagine is going to provide one to one supervision of your child who is old enough to, but not capable of following simple instructions for his own good.

https://childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/Home - Child Brain Injury Trust

contact this organisation. They were excellent t when DS had a bad bang to the head.

Why can't your son follow your instructions though when you told him not to run around at playtime and sit down instead due to doctors orders? It's irrelevant if he was inside or outside, you told him not to run around and play football. Why do you expect him to listen to the teacher when he doesn't even listen to you?

I agree with you about the PE lesson, the school should have deferred to your instructions but re. breaktime - your son knows what he's supposed to be doing and not doing. Why are you more annoyed at the school than with him?