Kept my son off school as school hasn’t done as asked

[Pashpash24]

My 8-year-old had a fall at school Tuesday this week. I got a call, as I usually do when he’s had a trip or bump — which I appreciate — but I don’t think they explained how bad it actually was. When I collected him at home time, he had a big lump on his head, bruising, a cut, and later that evening he started to develop a bit of a black eye. I honestly think I should have been called in to collect him and take him to the doctor — it clearly wasn’t just a minor knock.

Anyway, I kept him off the next day to rest and see the doctor who said he could go back to school but he is not to take part in activities. So yesterday, when I dropped him off, I went into reception and made it really clear: I didn’t want him outside at break and I definitely didn’t want him taking part in PE. They agreed and I left.

As I was driving away, I got a phone call from school saying his teacher has asked if it would be okay for him to go outside , as they like the children to get some fresh air. I was a bit torn, because I know if he’s out there and sees the others playing, he’ll want to join in — so I made it absolutely clear: if he goes outside, he must be sat in a quiet corner reading. No playing. They said yes, that was fine, and that they’d make sure he sat quietly with a book.

Well, he came home yesterday and told me he played football all break and lunch and did the full PE lesson.

So I’ve kept him off today. Not because I don’t want him at school — but because I feel like I can’t trust that what I’ve asked for is actually being followed. He’s had multiple knocks to the same side of his head recently (one with a hockey stick, another on playground equipment), and I was just trying to be cautious while he heals to avoid making it worse.

AIBU to keep him off today because of all this?

yanbu, my son had concussion and i was given the same advice - return to school but don’t do anything that risks a further knock to the head. Like with you, the school quickly forgot and stopped following the medical advice. They are responsible for his safety so they really need to sort this out.

When dd hurt her neck and wasn’t allowed to do sports day the teachers let her help with organising events, which she loved.
She did have a collar though so fairly obvious she was injured.

The school need better communication, this could have been more serious.

Eh? Did you actually read her post? She did take him to the doctor and was literally asking the school to follow the doctors advice...

No,yesterday would have been following advice. Today is being silly to make a point.

Have you contacted the school and asked if he played football at break/lunch and participated in a full PE lesson? If not, you need to contact the school and ask. I say this, because children exaggerate - I've worked in schools for 14 years - I haven't come across a child yet who doesn't stretch the truth. Even my own son, who's 14, is prone to exaggeration. It would be highly unusual for a school to completely disregard what a parent tells them, especially when it's on medical grounds. In fact if it turned out that the school has ignored your wishes, and your son had become unwell after participating in football and PE, they'd open themselves up for litigation.

Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time - she’s trying to follow what the Dr said - that he can be in school but not take part in activities, and we have to take it on face value that the Dr said this.

I think on balance a day off yesterday would have been better and back today, but if you think he’s not well enough to be there then keep him off.

Schools are very hot on attendance these days so I can see why the OP felt under pressure to have him go in. This being the case, it’s not unreasonable for him to be asked to stay in at break and not take part in PE for a few days, esp as the dr said this. Even if he was told to sit quietly during lunch and didn’t, why was he taking part in PE?

My experience of my DS’s school is that they are very resistant to having kids sitting inside when they have injuries- even when it’s a broken arm or similar as then they have to be separately supervised.

Why are you keeping your son off today?

Because you are worried about his physical health?

Or because you think you are somehow "making a point" to the school and punishing them for not having him sit down?

First one: fine. If you think his health is at risk, keep him off. He is probably absolutely fine though even playing sports.

Second: very silly. School doesn't care - one less kid is a bonus not a punishment for a class teacher. What you are teaching your son is a entirely pointless and fruitless way to try and get attention and that school isn't that important as otherwise you wouldn't be using it make a point.

I took my son to the doctor the day after it happened and they said he was well enough to go back to school but to keep him from activities and to ask him to be kept aside at playtime so as to not get his head hurt again.

I told school all of this. When I took him back to school, I went to reception and I said can you keep him in at playtime and make sure that he doesn’t take part in PE and they said yes no problem.

After I’ve left, they’ve called me up and said his teacher would like him to get some fresh air at playtime and I said I don’t think that’s wise just with everyone playing around him he’ll want to join in etc and they reassured me and said we will make sure that he sits in the corner reading quietly….

I was told in the morning he could sit out of PE and i was also told that he could stay inside. They never said that he couldn’t. They never said no sorry we don’t have the resources for that you will have to take him home. Because if that was the case, then I would’ve done that. I haven’t just turned up to school and presumed that they will do all this. I have asked them and they agreed. I’ve kept him off today because if he bangs his head again, he’s going to end up with a bad injury. I haven’t mentioned that six months ago I had to collect him from a school trip and take him to A&E to get this side of his head glued up because he slipped and fell at Mission Out.

Last week they called me and said he’d been hit on the same side of his head with a hockey stick. And now this week he’s banged it again badly. I am literally just trying to look out for my son 🙈 I haven’t kept him off because of anger. Yes I’m annoyed that they didn’t do what I asked. I’ve kept him off for safety. I’m letting his head heal up today and over the weekend and then next week he will stay inside for a break. His teachers apologised and emailed saying he’ll make sure he’s kept inside for next week.

He is eight, well old enough to remember that he has been told to sit it out at playtime and not do pe, and to remind the teacher if she had forgotten to read the tattoo of your instructions on her hand.

yabu.

What did the dr actually say and for how long. For potential concussion it’s usually 24 hours but then no contact sports for a while, or might be on if not contact

So I kept him off the day after it happened and the doctor said rest him up today lots of water, ice the lump and use pain relief if needed. He then told me two weeks off from football/ PE. And ask school to keep him in for break for the week.

If he is not well enough to go out at break, he is not well enough to be in school.
The doctor does not have the authority to dictate how the school is run - who does he think is going to sit with your child?

What a palaver. He's an 8 year old boy, stop wrapping him in cotton wool. Kept him at home to rest ffs. Can you really imagine him sitting in a corner reading a book at break time?!

The PE thing, I can see why you’re annoyed but your DS is more than old enough to have reminded the teacher. The rest of it…schools don’t have the staffing to assign a personal minder to your child and you’re being ridiculous. If he’s not well enough to go outside at break then he’s not well enough to be at school and that’s on you.

Goodness my kid at that age was doing
BMX races, would take a nasty fall and then within a few mins be back in his bike. If you are concerned about him keep him at home but you won’t want to do that as I bet that messes up your work.

Common sense would suggest that any 8 year old isn’t going to sit and read outside whilst their friends are playing next to them. He was set up for a fail let’s be honest. I’m guessing the school had their reasons for wanting him outside but generally sounds like they haven’t really listened to you at all. At first I thought you were being a bit unreasonable but actually the school should have been clearer on what they can or can’t accommodate.

This 100%. I'm so confused. Your son was told by you not to run around at breaktime and to sit and read quietly instead (which you say he loves) so he's done something you've told him not to. The teacher hasn't forced him to play football with his friends. She probably told him to sit down and not partake but he's not listened to her instructions - or your instructions and done what he liked instead. Unless he has an extreme disability, why is the breaktime thing anyone's fault but his?

The PE thing though - agreed. The school should have made him sit out PE if it was yours and the doctors orders.

If you want one to one care then you provide it.

School is not your servant and they can't spare a staff member to individually supervise your child.

I’d have kept him off yesterday then back to normal today, including PE and playing.

School said he could sit in? I really feel like I’m repeating myself. School were the ones who said he could sit in. Just because my son couldn’t go out at break time doesn’t mean that he wasn’t well enough to go to school. We were just avoiding him getting hit in the head again. I don’t understand why that’s so hard to understand. Of course, if School said he couldn’t stay in at break time, I would’ve taken him home and asked them to get me some work for him. I am wrapping him in cotton wool? I’m just making sure he doesn’t get hurt again as he’s had a lot of bangs to the head this year all on the same side.

As I’ve said in a previous post, he plays football four times a week he’s not soft. As I’ve also previously mentioned it’s the fact it’s a head injury. If a doctor says my son is well enough to go back to school and asks that he sits inside then that’s what I’m going to do. Also, I’m lucky I’m self-employed so if I need to have the time off with him I can. The point is he was well enough to go to school. He just needed to sit out and School agreed to that. I really feel like people are missing this point. They agreed they would keep him in. They agreed he’d sit out of PE. And he didnt.

people keep saying he’s 8 he should have known better. He said himself he just went because the teachers took him out to play and walked him into the PE lesson. He thought it was okay because the teachers were telling him to go 😑

Ywbu to expect staff to make sure he sat outside with a book ffs. If you really wanted him not to be outside then you should have kept him home. He was clearly well enough to play football twice and do PE. Just accept you’ve molly coddled him for no reason, accept school realised this, accept he’s okay.

I think you’re being OTT.
You should have seen the bruises, grazes and cuts on me as a child after climbing trees, falling off my bike, tripping over the kerb, falling over on my roller bouts.
My Mum said I was a walking disaster 😂
But that’s what kids do and that’s how they learn independence and resilience.
Keeping him wrapped up in cotton wool isn’t going to help him in the long run. He’ll feed off your anxiety and learn that he should be cautious all the time instead if being a kid and having fun.

Bear in mind as well that he's had a head injury, he's probably not thinking clearly atm because he's had a head injury. The adults really needed to step up or say that they couldn't, and they didn't.

According to some posters on this thread it's mollycoddling, wrapping a child up in cotton wool, and snowflake behaviour to follow a doctor's advice.
This thread is wild OP and I hope you're not taking it too seriously. 😂

So doctor said no activities, OP said keep child inside. Why then, would OP go back on her instructions less than 5 minutes later? If she really was that bothered then she should have stuck to her instructions 🤷‍♀️