Kept my son off school as school hasn’t done as asked

[Pashpash24]

My 8-year-old had a fall at school Tuesday this week. I got a call, as I usually do when he’s had a trip or bump — which I appreciate — but I don’t think they explained how bad it actually was. When I collected him at home time, he had a big lump on his head, bruising, a cut, and later that evening he started to develop a bit of a black eye. I honestly think I should have been called in to collect him and take him to the doctor — it clearly wasn’t just a minor knock.

Anyway, I kept him off the next day to rest and see the doctor who said he could go back to school but he is not to take part in activities. So yesterday, when I dropped him off, I went into reception and made it really clear: I didn’t want him outside at break and I definitely didn’t want him taking part in PE. They agreed and I left.

As I was driving away, I got a phone call from school saying his teacher has asked if it would be okay for him to go outside , as they like the children to get some fresh air. I was a bit torn, because I know if he’s out there and sees the others playing, he’ll want to join in — so I made it absolutely clear: if he goes outside, he must be sat in a quiet corner reading. No playing. They said yes, that was fine, and that they’d make sure he sat quietly with a book.

Well, he came home yesterday and told me he played football all break and lunch and did the full PE lesson.

So I’ve kept him off today. Not because I don’t want him at school — but because I feel like I can’t trust that what I’ve asked for is actually being followed. He’s had multiple knocks to the same side of his head recently (one with a hockey stick, another on playground equipment), and I was just trying to be cautious while he heals to avoid making it worse.

AIBU to keep him off today because of all this?

These threads make it abundantly clear why it is so difficult for disabled students to access education. This student only has a temporary issue, but the excuses for it being a burden on the school are ridiculous. Life happens. Children get injured. Students have medical issues. Schools should be prepared to handle common childhood issues as part of their design.

I think when you are medically advised that the child shouldn’t take part in activities for a set period of time then they shouldn’t.

He may very well be fine after a full day of activities but there’s also a decent chance he could give it another whack and not be fine.

It is hard keeping kids in who want to be with their friends but schools are well used to it and are perfectly capable of keeping them in or supervising outside for a few weeks.

I think it’s really common for kids to go to school and not be able to do pe or run around at break. Dd fractured her arm in school today. She will be back in on Monday, no p.e. for three weeks , walk with teacher rather than run the daily mile. The library does a break time/ lunchtime session so can do quiet activities and is allowed to choose a friend to come too. This is not my first experience of this as my other two kids have both also fractured their wrists and after a day or two off have gone in as normal .

I think school would be very concerned if I kept her off for next three weeks as well in herself just needs a bit of extra supervision.

I'm of the thoughts if he's well enough for school he's well enough to take part in activities.

They don't have staffing to accommodate 1 child separately.

Staff do one duty per week meaning their other breaks are free. This would make sure that the teacher wouldn't have any breaks all day. That is breaking the law. Working one duty but having other breaks free is not breaking the law.

Not rocket science just takes a bit of engaging the brain!

People saying it is 'just a bit of extra supervision' and 'schools should be prepared to handle this' when we know they wouldn't give up their breaks for someone else and work all day without a piss or a drink! In fact we have so many threads about parents crying that their child has to wait an hour to go to the toilet then thinks it is ok to demand that someone waits a whole day to go.

Some of the comments on this thread are horrible and bizarre. It's like some of you are out for a fight.

Op you are NOT being unreasonable, your child had a head injury you were following medical advice and asking the school to do the same as they should do and they agreed to do.

I work in school and this is not an unusual situation snd yes school absolutely shpukd facilitate it.

Also blaming the child, really, of course he is going to play unless told and stopped by staff as he is 8! The op herself expressed concerns about him being outside seeing others running around. Most children would join in they dont understand the seriousness and they dont have the impulse control.

Op I would be expecting the school to find out what went wrong and make sure they have an appropriate system to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Not where I worked. TAs did duty every break and lunch time then got 30 mins break themselves before or after lunch. Teachers had a break at break time and full lunchtime every day. Maybe that's why they were happy to let a child sit and quietly read or colour in their room during playtime. Child didn't have to stay with their own teacher for both either. It's not like the teacher would lose all of their breaks.

Most would rather do that than risk a child being injured.

Perhaps my school is strange but people (not the teachers) are paid to supervise breaks and there is always afew that can’t be out for whatever medical reason be it chronic or temporary. No one is saying teachers can’t have a break just that it should be part of normal planning to supervise children who can’t join in with the group.

Nobody is saying that because so and so can’t go out the teacher doesn’t get normal breaks. My kids have been in the can’t go out club, sometimes supervision is limited to sit in the chairs opposite the office so they can keep an eye out.

I send in a little tub of Lego or bakugon to keep them entertained and often a little friend will play with them too.

I think missing 2 weeks + of education would be really negative.

The point is that there is almost always going to be a child who needs something different. Teachers shouldn’t be missing their breaks, the school should be ready to deal with the students who need to a deviation from the norm. Those deviations are so common that they become common. It’s not that any one student needs something on a given day, but that a student somewhere in the building will need something.

if your employer consistent plans the rota so poorly that the work can’t get done, then that is the employers fault.

parents and children should not be blamed. The key here always should be to remember that children have a right to an education. Be mad at the people doing the scheduling and making the budgets, but not the children or the parents advocating for them.

So they got a break. Teachers do not get a full lunch time! What a laugh! Nope they do not need to stay with their own teacher but teachers who are busy are not likely to appreciate being told they are missing their breaks for someone else's child.

Most would rather they were respected and the school complied with the law. Why didn't the office woman do it. She was the one who agreed and she could take her break outside of lesson times/break times?

So how would teachers get a break if they are looking after a child? I agree missing 2 weeks of education would be negative but also working without a break for 2 weeks would be negative too.

I like your suggestions of the office woman/man doing it as they agreed. What grates on me is the expectation that teachers can and should give up all their time and expect normal breaks which others are legally allowed or else be seen as being the worst person in the world.

Absolutely teachers shouldn't as it also means more work for them later on. It is the office woman's fault that causes that by agreeing to limit the teacher's breaks. It should never be so that someone agrees on behalf of someone else like this woman did.

Parents should think about how their requests impact on the teachers and stop treating teachers as if they are public property. I will be mad at both the people who are doing the scheduling - the office woman who accepted to limit that teacher's day without consent and the parent who asked for the limit without thought. Both should think carefully about how it is implemented and ask for it to be done so fairly. Is that not wise or cannot parents think of doing something like that?

They aren’t looking after the child though whoever normally supervises children who need extra supervision do it or if someone is off they rejig and are “passively supervised” by being in close proximity to the office.

Possibly accident prone but two of my dc have broken bones on two seperate occasions and been told no pe/ activities/ stay in at breaks. One was quite nasty and altogether add up to over six months of supervision over a period of seven years. Never been supervised one on one by a teacher over breaks/ lunch. They just slot into to whatever plan school has. The school should have a plan as it’s incredibly common.

They absolutely did get a full lunchtime. I often sat and had my lunch with them. The three teachers from the year group and various others gathered in one classroom to chat and have lunch. Occasionally, shock horror, a child or two sat in the room with us and played a quiet game, read or coloured. The only inconvenience to us was that we had to be careful what we said was appropriate for the children to hear.

At one point we had a quiet room at lunchtime where children could go if they wanted or needed somewhere to sit quietly. Then it would only be break time that the teacher may need to cover. They would usually be in the room or the adjacent classroom with the door open in between.

You seem to be determined to believe that the child's needs can't possibly be met without great inconvenience or a total lack of any break time for the teacher.

What is your solution? Should injured children be forced to stay at home until they are fit enough to do PE and play football at break? When my son broke his foot that would have been 12 weeks off school before the Dr's cleared him for sport. Fortunately, his school were happy to let him sit in the library.

Assuming you are a teacher, what happens to injured children in your school. It's not exactly a rare occurrence, so what's the plan?

Wtf?

The parent didn't say they expect a teacher to do it instead of their own break. The parent asked whether the school as an organisation can accommodate medical recommendation to enable the child's learning that day.

If the school said no, or if the school said they need a day heads up, so not for Thursday but will arrange it for Friday, the OP would keep him out on Thursday. Simple.

Surely a child with medical needs/limitations is something the school is dealing with all the time, not something the OP and her GP invented.

Nope I absolutely do not think that. That is what you think. I think there is a way to do it but no teacher should arrive at school to be told actually I agreed you aren't having a break today. That is no ok.

Given that it'll fall on the class teacher then it is a great inconvenience not being able to go for a pee or change a tampon or have a glass of water.

My solution is that the children follow direction as told and go out with the rest of the class. Nothing stopping a child getting fresh air. They don't have to sit inside. The Dr hasn't said do not get fresh air. So they go out as all the other do.

If a child is injured they would have to go outside with all other children. Not rocket science. They sit on the benches and play board games. They follow the direction from adults. Staff do enough during breaks for the kids without more to do.

Who did they think was going to do it or did they expect their child to sit inside on their own?

The GP never said stay indoors so nothing stopping them going out.

It isn't the parent's job to understand the school's organization. There are teachers, TAs, admin staff, other professions. Still, some child unable/not allowed to play sports is a normal thing not something unheard of, and the school should be able to deal with it (or say they can't meet the needs).

Yes, the doctor didn't say indoors - and the OP confirmed over the phone it doesn't necessarily have to be indoors. However, the doctor said no physical activity, the school agreed to ensure that and failed.
Trying to turn it into OP's fault/wrong expectation is ridiculous.

Schools have accommodated this for years. You are being ridiculous it isn’t breaking the law. Nobody said it had to be the same member of staff every day.

That is exactly what the OP agreed with the school would be OK and what did not happen and yet you are angry with OP and think her request was unreasonable?

If he had been kept in at breaktine, who do you think should have given up their break to supervise him? You should have kept him at home if you had such concern and looked after him yourself. School are not babysitters. Any opportunity to find fault with teachers!

Nope the agreement initially was for him to stay in which she was asking for initially. Then this was the 2nd agreement and then the child choose to play.

I think her initial request was unreasonable. She should've offered to come sit in with him if she wanted him sitting in. If she is happy with him going outside then she needs to tell him he needs to listen and do as he is told.

It is breaking the law expecting teachers to work more than 6 hours without a break.

Nobody said that but the reality is that it falls on the child's class teacher when a parent requests this.

Life goes on, it'll just take longer to heal if hit again