Kept my son off school as school hasn’t done as asked

[Pashpash24]

My 8-year-old had a fall at school Tuesday this week. I got a call, as I usually do when he’s had a trip or bump — which I appreciate — but I don’t think they explained how bad it actually was. When I collected him at home time, he had a big lump on his head, bruising, a cut, and later that evening he started to develop a bit of a black eye. I honestly think I should have been called in to collect him and take him to the doctor — it clearly wasn’t just a minor knock.

Anyway, I kept him off the next day to rest and see the doctor who said he could go back to school but he is not to take part in activities. So yesterday, when I dropped him off, I went into reception and made it really clear: I didn’t want him outside at break and I definitely didn’t want him taking part in PE. They agreed and I left.

As I was driving away, I got a phone call from school saying his teacher has asked if it would be okay for him to go outside , as they like the children to get some fresh air. I was a bit torn, because I know if he’s out there and sees the others playing, he’ll want to join in — so I made it absolutely clear: if he goes outside, he must be sat in a quiet corner reading. No playing. They said yes, that was fine, and that they’d make sure he sat quietly with a book.

Well, he came home yesterday and told me he played football all break and lunch and did the full PE lesson.

So I’ve kept him off today. Not because I don’t want him at school — but because I feel like I can’t trust that what I’ve asked for is actually being followed. He’s had multiple knocks to the same side of his head recently (one with a hockey stick, another on playground equipment), and I was just trying to be cautious while he heals to avoid making it worse.

AIBU to keep him off today because of all this?

So a kid with a broken arm or leg shouldn’t go to school? Of course they should! They just can’t run round.
And by the way, the school have a duty of care. When he first hit his head at school, they should have rung and told her that.

Schools are meant to flag up head bumps and specifically inform parents of it. I work in a school and I know that a doctor’s advice would be adhered too.

Massive overkill. The only thing he shouldn’t be doing is contact sport and heading footballs.
no reason for him not to go to school , play in the playground or do pe.

Did the doctor say he's not allowed to go outside at playtime? I understand avoiding PE.

But as long as he wasn't playing rugby or 'pretend' wrestling/boxing/MMA during his break time then I don't see the issue.

You shouldn't punish someone for being minorly injured. He definitely didn't have concussion or the doctor would be said or sent him for scans.

Honestly you're being too harsh.

My grandson aged 5 broke his collar bone. School were very careful maybe because his arm was in a sling.

My sons with boys are well aware of repeated head injuries and would point out to the school the advice given these days.

BUT they're making my grandson and others playground monitors at breaks. So what
Happens. Are the parents going to sue a ten year old??

This.

YABU school phoned to ask if he could go outside and you agreed. That was your opportunity to say no he needs to stay in. You must have known playtime wouldn't have been supervised by his teacher or any teacher that would have known he couldn't play.

They shouldn't have let him do pe but if he's just been playing football outside you can see why they might have forgotten he needed to sit still!

I would go back to the doctor and ask for another opinion. Over a week of no activity for a bump and no concussion seems a bit overkill l.

Your son’s doctor said no activities. You told the school repeatedly no activities.

What doesn’t the school understand?? How stupid are they?

Presumably her child signed up for this, and it's on a rota slots probably only once a week

So you wanted the teacher to not have a toilet break, lunch break or any rest during the day? Absolutely unreasonable.

I suggest that if he needs to stay inside then you ensure you go to the school to supervise him at breaks and lunch instead of expecting someone to go all day without a break.

No but you want to argue and be right. There is no point in anyone pointing out that they don’t agree with what they perceive to be your overreaction without repeating why you have done what you have done and doubling down on how you feel. That’s perfectly fine but it’s another argument to support your view which has nothing to do with your original post. You want peoples opinions and asked AIBU and 53% (so far) think that you are. Why did you ask? And now why don’t you like what over half the people are telling you?

OP it wasn’t a ‘bad’ bump. It was a bump. It didn’t require stitches nor did it have concussion signs. Based on that there was no need to take you son to a doctor. The doctor advised to take it easy but of ccurse he was always going to say that. You expected a kid with a bump on their head with no concussion or stitches to stay off school and then be constantly watched to not go outside. The doctor said no football or activity for a couple of weeks - why? Seriously I am not being antagonistic- why? What would be the concern? It in most likelihood was a ‘take it easy for a couple of weeks and don’t get him to head the ball and make his bump worse’.

This is a complete mountain out of a molehill.

I've got an 8 year-old boy. I'd leave the school out of it and tell him what he should/ shouldn't do. You have to teach your children personal responsibility. It's not for the school to mollycoddle, it's for your son to implement. He's 8, not 4.

How long has the doctor asked that he stay away from physical activity? I’m a teacher and we’ve always been told 24h unless a diagnosed concussion. On the surface of it you sound a bit OTT but if there is medical reason for it to be longer then the school are obviously unreasonable.

You need assurance from the school that they will follow the medical advice you have been given.

Mum needs to go to the school herself at breaks so she can supervise her child during this period then all medical advice is being followed.

Twice a week actually. Do you really think ten year olds should be playground supervisors?

Yes you can. Library at break and supervision outside. Basic stuff.

The school should have said outright that they can't police him like that if they can't. However yes if your child needs special provision that should generally be done at home. If the child is inside, then a teacher who would normally be setting up their classroom or going to the loo is having to monitor him, if the child is outside, there is probably one teacher for 70 kids, they can't be monitoring your child all the time. Expect him to join in normally or keep him at home.

Who agreed to the requests in the morning? Was it someone with the authority to decide whether school would be safe, or a member of office staff who said they would pass the message on?

The school may not have anyone available to supervise your child separately- teachers and TAs are generally on playtime duty.

Your child knew he wasn’t supposed to play football. Yet he deliberately disobeyed instructions from doctors and you. At 8, he’s old enough to be responsible for taking his book out and sitting down as advised.

“Library” !

If the school is lucky enough to have a library, it’s very unlikely they have a staff member running it.

Just an example. Sitting quietly on a bench outside? Someone will be on duty. Sitting in the medical room if they have one?

I did read through your posts so hopefully not repeating! My son had stitches when he was 7 and wasn’t meant to run around for 3 days. The school wouldn’t put anyone to sit with him, he’d just have to remember not to engage. So it might just be that they assumed he was old enough to take this responsibility for himself. I’d actually wonder why your son didn’t know how to look after himself at 8 and make sure to talk to him about it - while also asking the school why they promised something they couldn’t deliver.

Library?!?

The casual response to head injuries is not okay, especially now all the research is coming out about what it can impact later in life.

It is a big deal and can be life altering.

I had a series of concussions between the ages of 7 and 12. It completely changed my ability to retain information and I didn't finish school. I am still dealing with the impact of it and I worry about what it means for me in 20 years.

I listen to yr 3 read in their school library in out tiny local village primary. It was just a guess but not really the point at issue at all.

sat quietly in a corner reading, get a grip ffs