How would you feel if someone told you you are not needed

[Amyrhaf]

How would you feel if your sister-in-law told you outright, “you are not needed here” that my DH “has a mother, has a sister, there is no need for you here at all” my DH and I have been together since I was 18, now 33, 2 DC. I have since blocked her on all SM and keeping a huge distance from her, but really, who would accept being spoken to like that?

No one would accept being treated like that! Imo wife trumps mum and sister..

Depends on the context. On the face of it, rude, but it is all about the context.

What were you doing, and were you interfering?

That is the meanest oddest thing ever! A man doesn't need his wife because he has a mother and a sister?

Don't give her a second thought, strengthen your bond with your husband and be very wary of them. The nerve!

Odd, OP. Don't you worry.

Op, I'm so sorry, what was the context of this? She should never have spoken to you like that, it is extremely disrespectful. You're his wife, which makes you his immediate family, and you come first before SIL imo, they're close family, not immediate.

Wow. What on earth was the context that she told you that?

Since keeping distance from her she is now openly aggressive towards me if we do happen to bump into one another (she lives with her parents very close by) and her mother is making me out to be a horrible person because I am “making her poor innocent daughter feel lonley”

What’s the context?

Why does anyone have to ‘trump’ anyone? Why can’t people just be normal and live their lives without making everything into such a bloody drama?

No one should trump anyone! We should all be equal, so imagine being made to feel much much mich less than equal, how would you feel?

I'd be asking her which one of them he's going to have intamacy and sex with. What an odd comment

You need to answer the context? If it was a relative of theirs dying who you did not know then maybe she meant that they could offer support to your dh.

Exactly, op is his wife, SIL doesn't get to tell her she is not needed, wife is immediate family, next of kin etc.

Needed for what?

What was the context? Although, really after all those years you should be part of the family. The MIL and SIL sound strange.

Partly agreed, however op's wife has the right to still support her husband in this scenario, and husband has the right to have who he wants supporting him.

What is the context? If there isn't one, it's an extraordinarily odd thing for her to say.

There’s a clearly a lot more to this than you’re telling us. Difficult to give an opinion without knowing the context of what’s been happening.

Why are you talking in code and not answering the context question?

Maybe try actually explaining properly?

Without context it is hard to say if yabu or not. She was definitely rude but what were you doing to spark that reaction?

Context is DH had been spending slot of time helping our bereaved friends who had recently lost their child. SIL commented that he was spending far to much time there, trying to make himself out to be a big important man! And why did he need to run to help them?! I calmly told her “well thats just how DH is, he wants to help” Cue “we dont need you to tell us about DH name, we dont need you here at all, he has a mother and a sister, we dont need you” etc etc…

She sounds...odd. And your MIL would tell you off for making SIL 'lonely' when SHE is the one who has tried to push YOU out?

I'd stay away from the entire family to be honest. Except your DH, who is hopefully on your side.

Nobody can say if they are being unreasonable unless you provide context.

What's the full/back story OP?
Something must have led to her saying this?

Oh, so they were saying that they don't need your opinion, and that only theirs count. Everybody's opinion is valid, and they sound controlling. Your husband is a grown man, and is able to support who he wants. Why are they treating him like a little boy?

Totally depends. If it’s sil’s child’s funeral and she hasn’t got a great relationship then fine. If she thinks you’re coercing and controlling dh in an abusive way fine. I can’t imagine me being upset if my dh’s brother or mum wanted time alone with him. The tone in your op sounds unkind but without knowing the context - were you interfering - it’s hard to know. If dh didn’t say “I want my wife here” then I’d say yabu and over stepped.