My son hates being short.

[MacmillanDo]

My 14 year old son is short for his age - actually, he’s grown in the past few months but he’s still one of the smaller kids in his year.

He’s desperate to be taller and to have a girfriend and he’s sure these two things are linked.

We’ve been talking with the GP about whether we go privately and run general checks to see if he’s got delayed growth - and I suspect we will do this, even though he’s following his father’s trajectory by being v small until about 15 when he grew to about 5ft 8. I’m 5 ft 2.5

I tell him all the time that he has to love who he is, whatever size he gets to and that he’s amazing - genuinely - and handsome, funny, engaging - and will be loved etc - but I also get that this stuff is toxic for boys and he’s at a really self conscious age.

And the truth is, when you read that Tinder is bringing in height filters, I feel really sad for him - because it’s bullshit but it might really impact on his wellbeing.

i don’t know why im posting. Maybe for some advice

What height is he? And was 5’8 his dads adult height?

Yeah you mentioning tinder height filters hits the nail on the head

Id be checking he's not listening to Andrew tate and that lot, because they get really angry about height and their hatred of women is linked to it

The main thing is that he talks to you

Id recommend some practical stuff like getting him into sports and self defence snd strength training, so he feels good about himself despite his height which can't be controlled xx

It’s irrelevant what height he is now. Yes, that’s his dads height

Your husband is slightly shorter than average for a white British man. You are slightly shorter than average for a white British woman.

In all likelihood your son will a smidge shorter than his father because of genetics (two short parents). There is nothing a GP nor a private consultant can do about that.

Short at 14 is well within normal development. Lots of lads grow later than that - my brother and my sons included.

It’s irrelevant what height he is now

On a post all about his height. Good one, OP.

He is v sporty and he goes to the gym - so he is doing what he can physically. He also doesn’t listen to Andrew Tate, we check in about this regularly.

But it’s about how he feels about himself, not the measurement. He’s small. I don’t see how sharing measurements makes this post more
meaningful?

😂how is it irrelevant when that’s literally the issue in your post?
If he’s 4ft 6, that’s a big difference from 5ft 4 at that age. Ridiculous.

Yes, this is probably all true

He’s at the smaller end of boys his age / not outside of the realm of possibility

How tall is he?

If your husband is 5’8” and you’re 5’2” then there’s a good chance that he will be shorter than 5’8”. Which is unfortunate if he wants to be taller, but everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change.

In addition to the great suggestion above about getting him into sports and strength training, make sure his diet is good. There are studies suggesting that a percentage of a man’s final height is influenced by nutrition. And of course keep a close eye on his internet activity to make sure he’s not falling down any incel/red pill rabbit holes.

My friend’s son who sounds similar found confidence through joining the gym and working out. He also did CrossFit. There are loads of elements in that (such as the gymnastics) where it’s an advantage to be shorter and lighter.

Lots of cute and/or good looking short men in this world - past and present. I’ll start a list…

James Dean
Tom Cruise
Dustin Hoffman
Al Pacino
Michael J Fox
……. Etc

It’s as meaningful as making a goady vague post about it.

My DS was the smallest boy in his year throughout primary school, and much smaller than average up until age 15. He then grew like topsy for the next few years and is now 6ft. His dad is 5.6, as am I.

Obviously this may well not happen - but I want to reassure you that growth after 14 isn’t unusual. I’d also echo the PP who mentioned playing sport and just keeping active.

It is hard though - I completely get that. I’d not heard about Tinder’s height filters - how tragic.

a goady post? Wow.

If the OP states the height it will be very outing 🙄🙄🙄🙄

😂😂😂

I don’t understand the fascination with the figures. The post is about how I can help my son with his self consciousness.

Thank you, I appreciate this

My older two boys are 5ft 6ins (same height as me) currently, they have always been small for their age (15/16) but both are having a growth spurt now. They are keen to get to 6ft- dad is 5ft11.

Boys can continue to grow until late teens/ early 20's.

Boys don't stop growing til they are late teens so really wouldn't worry yet. I remember looking at the pics of both DDs and their friends in the last 5yrs. The "dinky" ones caught up very impressively.

To be fair I think advice will vary widely depending on where his height is currently. If he’s currently 5’5” or 5’6” at 14 then he’s being a bit silly and needs reassurance. If he’s 4’9” still then he needs medical evaluation to check for issues and may potentially need a lot more help to accept a very short adult height.

Not sure being defensive/evasive about his actual height and then being snarky with others is helping you at all. It sounds like you're more conscious of it than he is.

Thanks for the posters who are being reassuring, I appreciate it