My son hates being short.

[MacmillanDo]

My 14 year old son is short for his age - actually, he’s grown in the past few months but he’s still one of the smaller kids in his year.

He’s desperate to be taller and to have a girfriend and he’s sure these two things are linked.

We’ve been talking with the GP about whether we go privately and run general checks to see if he’s got delayed growth - and I suspect we will do this, even though he’s following his father’s trajectory by being v small until about 15 when he grew to about 5ft 8. I’m 5 ft 2.5

I tell him all the time that he has to love who he is, whatever size he gets to and that he’s amazing - genuinely - and handsome, funny, engaging - and will be loved etc - but I also get that this stuff is toxic for boys and he’s at a really self conscious age.

And the truth is, when you read that Tinder is bringing in height filters, I feel really sad for him - because it’s bullshit but it might really impact on his wellbeing.

i don’t know why im posting. Maybe for some advice

I also think a big part of boys height and how much they grow is how much they eat during their growth spurts. My husband is on the shorter side and he wasn’t allowed to eat as much as he wanted as a teen. I know my teenage boys and constantly hungry - eating 2 or 3 plates of dinner most nights. My 16 year old is already same height as his dad. The doctor checked his growth as a child as he was concerned about his growth rate, and found his bone age was a few years behind his actual age. So he will likely grow well into his 20s.

Aw the poor boy, height is really not that important, Tinder and Andrew Tate can get effed. He is only 14 so only just hit puberty really, most boys will continue to grow well in to their late teens so he shouldn’t worry. Even if he only teaches 5ft 8, us short girls LOVE a short king, I know he’s a bit weird and not the best person but Tom Cruise in his prime was 🤌🏼

One Of My Sons feels the same
I'm just praying our Darling Sons will see the light & what's important sooner than later
Much Love To You&Yours From Me&Mine

Honestly telling the op that her son shouldn’t wish to be taller when he js a 14 year old teenager is pointless . Of course they all want to be tall dark and handsome .
I don’t believe the comment above that said sons would end up between their parents height. That’s surely nonsense as that would mean the population would be getting progressively smaller when they are not. In fact that research has shown that due to the prevalence of red meat in the diet etc that most men will outgrow their fathers and women their mothers .

Op however he ends up , it’s clear that if he ends up unusually small it won’t be because of anything you missed or didn’t do.

That says a lot about you.

Be very careful that you’re not giving him negative vibes.

McMillanDo, I'd like to reassure your son that if he accepts that he's not the tallest person in the world, then life will be good for him. It's NO big deal if your height is below average!
I've been 5'2" all my life - Never been bullied at school or anywhere else & have had more than my fair share of relationships - even now at my late age, no problems... just enjoy being you - I wish you well 🤗

Child is getting married. It's a large wedding.
Child and fiancé have invited close friends of his parents.

Some friends of my husbands are invited.
There are no restrictions on numbers.
What has really upset me none of my friends are invited, including one of my oldest friends. Reason given she has not seen them in years and it is child and fiance have said it is their day and they'll invite only people they want to be at wedding. There have not been any arguments Between child and my friend. Holidays were spent at friends house.
My child was invited to friends child's wedding- she chose not to go - it was a number of years ago.
We agreed to pay for reception, there are no restrictions on numbers.
Some people have already replied and are unable to go to wedding.
Child has stated my long term friend is not invited as its child and fiancé's day not mine or husbands wedding. I'm absolutely gutted not one of my friend s are invited.
It feels like salt being rubbed in that child's fiancé's parents will have all their family and friends at wedding.
It has totally spoiled day (which I was so excited about).
Have explained again and it's still no.
Gutted.
Am I being unreasonable?

I actually really sympathise with you (and you son) on this one. I completely agree with the stance that it doesn't and shouldn't matter, doesn't need to hold him back, etc...and I also completely agree with the reality that it's tough to be shorter than you're comfortable with, particularly as a boy/man.

I come from a tall family, and have married a shorter than average man - he's 5'6, two inches shorter than me. He's bloody wonderful, confident, stubborn and brave and caring. The one thing he would change about himself, if he could, is he'd be taller. Not because he particularly cares, but because despite being well built (does make a difference) he says whenever he and his brother walk into a room, his brother instantly commands more respect purely due to being taller. I think it feels pretty unfair!

I have had comments from other ~arsehole~ men about his height, too. Never from women, interestingly.

Both my nephews and my dad and brother did that... They were ALL in the shortest 10 per cent in their year group...

Now 6'5",6'4",6'1",6'4"....they were all still growing at 21/22!

(obvs we have tall, delayed growth genes in our family)

You need to start a new thread.

If he’s only 14 he will definitely grow!

He could even buy them tall shoe insole things for a bit of extra height when he goes back to school after the summer to look like he’s had a growth spurt if wants to.

But there are plenty of celebrities, like Kevin Hart, who just poke fun at themselves for their height because they know the jokes they’ll receive are so predictable anyway.

In terms of meeting a girlfriend, confidence and a sense of humour will go way further than just being tall!

I stopped growing at around 14

I hit the dizzying height of 4'9" before I left primary school and didn't grow much more before hitting my final height at 13

Whilst I loathe that Tate idiot I suspect the OP’s son has linked the girlfriend thing to being teased about his height from both sexes. Many women are open about not wanting a partner that is the same height/shorter than them so you could argue it’s a societal norm to be worried about this.

But if the average UK female is 5’5”, then MOST men are at least this tall?

I'm 5', my son's father - 5'7". My son is 5'9". My present spouse is 5' 7 " and an ex-marine who could run further carrying a pack than men taller than he is. Don't worry. Look at all the excellent gymnasts - usually neater build and not so tall. Shorter people can have better core strength and stamina. Don't let him be sucked into the rubbish about tall men being more successful etc.

Op - you mentioned that your son hadn't really had any growth in ages until recently?

Now actually while i think its important to accept his height and understand there are happy, successful people out there of all sizes, a long period of very low/no growth should be properly investigated, especially if your son is under the 5th centile or so height wise for his age.

Growth hormone stim tests are the only reliable way to test, they are not actually that awful (one of my DC has had two, its just a cannula and blood draws every half hour for 3-4 hrs). Growth hormone is only prescribed in very specific circumstances so its not likely but its worth checking if he's really not growing - not for height but because it has other effects on the body.

Every year that goes by it will matter less and less than his personality and how people feel around him. It's not a determinant of his health, his physical fitness, his ability to be interested and interesting to the world around him, his sense of humour, his inherent value as a human being, his ability to love and be loved.
It doesn't affect his ability to get strong, follow his passion and purpose, learn new things, make people laugh, make someone orgasm, make money, travel the world, be an amazing dad, friend, husband, brother.

He doesn't need to convert anyone to this understanding right now, he just needs to remind himself that it's true.

Brilliant Inspiring Comment
I'm To Reiterate Some Of Your Wise Words Of Wisdom To One Of My Own Dearest Sons 💚🥰🌼Thank You Immensely Much So
God Bless You&Yours

Hi OP

My son is the same age as yours and also small. So I sympathise.

I'm 5ft6 and my DH is 6ft3.

DS's little brother is taller than him and clearly looks like his dad - long and lean.

DS is not a fan of being the smallest in his peer group. He's also now starting to grow outwards rather than upwards and getting a little belly which is making him self conscious. He eats the healthiest of all of us, and not that much compared to his brother but his brother keeps growing so I guess is using his food for fuel.

I do often worry , but am also quite reassured by the fact that DS hasn't started puberty yet I don't think. He certainly looks v young and baby faced. He has a few spots appearing on his face, but otherwise not really any signs of puberty. He looks like a pre-teen! So I think his growth will come once puberty has progressed and he actually gets to the point of rapid growth which most boys go through, just at different stages.

Has your DS shown signs of puberty?

Looking at my son's friends, the tallest ones also have moustaches! muscles and look like mini men!! I've told my son that he will end up taller than them because generally speaking once you've gone through puberty your growth slows/stops. He still has loads of growing left to do!

Obviously, his actual height is not irrelevant because that's the point of thread

Jesus OP seriously you are on complaining because your 14 year old is 5ft 2.5in.

My DS is 14 and is 4ft 8in - he is actually the smallest in his class, his sports teams and everywhere he goes. I think he may be the smallest in his school.
I would love if he was 5ft 2.5in.
He struggles all the time because of his height.

My almost 16 year old DS is only 5ft 4.5in.

Solidarity with you.
My son at 16 feels the same.
I am very short, at five foot. Husband five ten.
My son focuses on what he can change about himself so sport, gym, skin care, good protein heavy diet, plenty of sleep, vitamins. He looks into what boosts growth hormone and testosterone.
I think he's a good looking boy and hope he can like himself and I do feel sad he so wants to be taller

@raffegiraffe do you mind me asking what height he is. I am 5ft and DH 5ft10 so same heights as you.

DD is 5ft 2 aged 17, DS is 5ft 4.5 aged 15 3/4 and DS is 4ft 8 aged 14 1/4

I hate being short but I do think its way worse for a boy. My DS eat well, bed early, definitely doing everything to achieve potential height but both our families are small so the odds are against them.

My dad is 5ft 2 and my brother is 5ft 3 :(
My DH dad is 5ft 8

@Rumors1
Hi, he is 5 8 at just turned 16.
I think his puberty wasn't very early compared to some of his friends. He doesn't have much facial hair and only just getting a bit of acne now, so I think he may have more growth in him, but who knows. He's quite stocky so looks short
I've found it quite hard being short, mainly reaching things haha, finding clothes to fit and looking wider because I'm short and hourglass.
I agree with you that it's different for boys where height is sometimes to do with physical power. I think that's why my son has made himself so strong.

Thanks @raffegiraffe , id say he has more growing in him.

My youngest hasnt started puberty yet and no signs so I think he is delayed (as I was.) Im waiting until he is 14.5 to bring him to GP. We are doing same with strength building and working on speed and skills for sports. Thats all we can control!