Close friends beytral, has put me in a&e

[Ivyrose1234]

Last weekend unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage.

Un beknown to me, a close friend of mine has been having an affair for years apparently.

She knew of what happened, and her partner both sent us messages of support.

We thanked them and said we need time and will see them soon.

On Friday my close friends husband turned up at my house, screaming at me that did I know she was having an affair?

She had apparently said she had came over last weekend to be with me, but she was actually with him and he caught her lying by tracking her phone and she confessed she was not at my house supporting me.

I was so upset, after he left I passed out from the shock of it all, and that she had lied and said she was with me when she wasn't.

She has rang me several times since, they both have, and messaging, and last night I was rushed to a&e because I keep blacking out.

I am literally sobbing as I write this. I cannot believe she used my saddest earth shattering moment as a lie to go and be with the person she's having an affair. I'm also really angry he came to my house screaming at me, my other children hearing it all when our home is grieving.

My friend has even rang my daughters ipad to try and make contact. I literally feel like im going to have a heart attack from the stress, and I'm so upset I shake.

I'm so angry but I know I need to rest, but how dare both of them. They have no right to drag me into their mess, and harass me.

I haven't messaged either of them back, I just shake. My partner refuses to engage with either of them ever again, but I kind of want someone to stick up for me and tell them they have hurt us all so much, even my poor Dad in his old age has offered to speak to her.

I'm so sorry OP. She is definitely not a friend you want to keep around. I would just block and ignore, she'll give up.

Oh OP, how hurtful.

How are you now? Did they find the cause of the blackouts?

I'm so sorry they both did that to you. It's unforgivable,

I'm sorry for your loss, i had 5 losses before I got my DD. It's very difficult isn't it x

Just block them on everything! All devices, all social media.
They have shown you who they are, there is surely nothing they can say to make this better!!
sorry for your loss 💐

Surely there is something wrong with you for you to pass out. That seems like more than shock.

Your DP needs to make contact and read them the riot act.

It sounds like there’s a lot more to it if it’s caused you to black out.

If I was in your situation, I would bet my DH would send a message reading them the riot act.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP.

You need to concentrate on your physical and emotional health right now, so the best thing to do is block them both on every device and try to put them out of your mind. If and when you are ready to tell them what you want to say, do it then when completely calm and mentally and physically in a better place. If they turn up at your door in the meantime, your DH must be the one to send them packing.

Getting into a row now will help nobody, and you and your family come first.

Oh my word, how truly awful for you. Obviously all the family are devastated and shouldn't have been involved with any of this. Definitely not a friend.

I sincerely hope you are on the road to recovery, get plenty of rest.
My condolences to all the family.

You need to just block them both for now, while you concentrate on getting well.

Your friend sounds like an absolute cunt and is probably phoning to ask you to find a way to back up her story, rather than apologise for her shitty actions.

Jesus. Block them both. Tell your husband to send them both a message telling them you’ve been hospitalised and if they contact you or any member of your family you will report to the police for harasssment. Tell your husband to do it and make sure he means it when he does. If he doesn’t want to do this for your sake, he is letting you all down.

I’m so sorry for you loss. Take care of yourself xx

Horrible of your friend but you are being overly dramatic. As others have said block her or get partner to do the communicating

Having a miscarriage is horrible and it can make you feel very unwell, including shaky and faint, especially if you are trying to carry on as normal, looking after other DC etc.
Your friend has behaved very badly, her DH was wanting to vent his distress but still acted unacceptably, and it must feel like a betrayal to think your friend has used your suffering as an excuse to meet up with her lover.
But if you are feeling so unwell that you have blacked out, that's more likely to be the effects of the miscarriage than your friend's selfish behaviour. It's good you went to A & E, and I hope that they have been able to find out why you keep blacking out.
Your friend is clearly desperate to contact you, she probably didn't think that her thoughtless behaviour would end up having these consequences, and likely wants to apologise. Whether or not you accept that is your choice. It might be best to actually contact her just to say you have been very hurt by what happened but you are in no condition to discuss it right now, and that you'll contact her again if and when you feel able. In the meantime ask her not to try to contact you again as it is just compounding the problem.

Why does it matter if OP has children? What do you think her and her partner have done wrong exactly?

I'm so sorry for your loss. You really just need to step away from both of them and from all of their mess, because it is their mess. If you feel like you can't do this without some closure, then write down what you want to say to them and either text it and then block for now or if you feel you can then call, tell them what you want to say, explain you don't want to hear from them and ask them not to contact you and then block and put them out of your mind.

Arrange to see your GP about the blackouts. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

Tell your husband to send them both a message telling them you’ve been hospitalised and if they contact you or lany member of your family you will report to the police for harasssment.

That.

It says twice in the post she has children.

Absolutely!

In no uncertain terms he should tell them that you had no idea & what a pair of shits they both are & to fuck off.

They are behaving very badly. None of this is about you and they need to stop involving you.

But if you are being ‘rushed’ to A and E and are ‘blacking out’ because of this, I don’t think you can put this on them. That’s quite an extreme physical response to what they have done, which nobody could have predicted.

You both need to block them now and carry on like they don’t exist. Sorry for your loss, and wishing you happier days ahead.

I'm sorry for your loss, but dial back the drama honestly.

You're "friends" affair and lying isnt causing yr blackouts.

Block them both and move on.

Block them, focus on yourself. They can sort their own shit out

What the fuck has OP done wrong? Her 'friend' used OP's miscarriage as an alibi so she could meet her affair partner. OP wasn't consulted and didn't agree to this. She has been screamed at by her friend's DH when she is physically and emotionally unwell.

Maybe keep your misplaced judgemental comments to yourself.

There’s two responders on here who have accused the OP of being dramatic, or to dial down the drama. Enough of your nasty judgement.
The OP sounds utterly traumatised.
She had no idea her ‘friend’ was having an affair. She is feeling very fragile. Next thing friends husband comes round ranting and raving. OP is TOTALLY innocent here.
Her friend has betrayed her appallingly and her husband is an utter knob too.
Drama?!