Close friends beytral, has put me in a&e

[Ivyrose1234]

Last weekend unfortunately I suffered a miscarriage.

Un beknown to me, a close friend of mine has been having an affair for years apparently.

She knew of what happened, and her partner both sent us messages of support.

We thanked them and said we need time and will see them soon.

On Friday my close friends husband turned up at my house, screaming at me that did I know she was having an affair?

She had apparently said she had came over last weekend to be with me, but she was actually with him and he caught her lying by tracking her phone and she confessed she was not at my house supporting me.

I was so upset, after he left I passed out from the shock of it all, and that she had lied and said she was with me when she wasn't.

She has rang me several times since, they both have, and messaging, and last night I was rushed to a&e because I keep blacking out.

I am literally sobbing as I write this. I cannot believe she used my saddest earth shattering moment as a lie to go and be with the person she's having an affair. I'm also really angry he came to my house screaming at me, my other children hearing it all when our home is grieving.

My friend has even rang my daughters ipad to try and make contact. I literally feel like im going to have a heart attack from the stress, and I'm so upset I shake.

I'm so angry but I know I need to rest, but how dare both of them. They have no right to drag me into their mess, and harass me.

I haven't messaged either of them back, I just shake. My partner refuses to engage with either of them ever again, but I kind of want someone to stick up for me and tell them they have hurt us all so much, even my poor Dad in his old age has offered to speak to her.

Actually yes, I'd do this. Then block.

Don't do that. It is full of all the arseholes and armchair medics who think they know best. And the 'friend' will only focus on those.

I am sorry for your loss @Ivyrose1234 . And sorry for the Sunday night dickheads this thread provoked. Not what you needed.

She is not saying that she has been hospitalised because her friend is having an affair, duh! Try reading and comprehending before posting a patronising response.

Without the miscarriage then it is likely the husbands verbal assault would not have caused the OP to black out. That doesn’t mean the OP is being dramatic or ridiculous. 2 stressful situations so close together have caused the reaction. If the husband had not shown up shouting then maybe the OP would not have blacked out. No-one will ever know for sure, but accusing the OP of lying or being dramatic is just cruel.

Stick a screenshot of it up on the school WhatsApp.
Let HER and her huxband experience drama being brought to their door.

Its what they both deserve.

Do you think so? People faint when in shock. My MIL went into respite care, I went round to my FIL's, tried to talk to him about it and he just got overwhelmed and passed out in his chair (and because he was in his 80's I thought he was dead). Fun times.

I agree 👏🏻

It's horrible what they've done but your response and particularly the blacking out and shaking seems a lot OP. I've had multiple miscarriages, early and late so do understand. Maybe you need to speak to someone? It could be hormonal of course.

Sorry for your loss. Forget about the friend for now until you're ready to deal with it.

Sorry you’re experiencing such distress and the mc
prioritise Yourself,your wellbeing
Their behaviour won’t directly be causing your ill health but the drama. Will be an additional stress you don’t need

Firstly I am so sorry for your miscarriages. You will be feeling tired and shaky.your friends seem the worst shade of toxic.i would block for now .DH is probably feeling upset too,so doesn't want to confront them.Can you stay with your Dad a few days,or any non toxic mates.just for a rest.her DH will find out eventually anyway

So sorry about your miscarriage and your friends actions. Sometimes, people really sink so low, it makes you lose faith in human nature. There are lots of decent people out there though. I hope you recover and are able to put this horrible episode behind you. Sending you lots of love ❤️ xxx

Well many agree and I also stand by what I said. The more the OP updates the more melodramatic it sounds.

Only one of my three miscarriages caused significant bleeding. I really did feel faint during and after.

If someone had put me under a great deal of stress on top of that, I do believe that it would have been possible to pass out as a result.

Op you need to find out what cases the black outs. Please see a gp asap. Is this the only time of you had other times. Sorry for your loss but please get yourself checked out...re your ex friend I won't bother saying anything as you know what you need to do here

Very sorry for your loss @OP. Miscarriages are heartbreaking, especially when you don't know what caused it. I hope you recuperate soon.

Re; friend, I think the word you're looking for is 'Implicate'. She implicated you in her sordid affair. She hasn't betrayed you or any confidence, just needed to point that out. Forget them both.

Dreadful behaviour! Block them and take care of yourself and family x

They are both so out of order.

so sorry for your loss 💕

Fair enough. But the shaking, feeling like she's going to have a heart attack and blacking out seems more mental health related from my experience. Whatever it is, I hope she got some help.

Oh fuck off and don't be such an unfeeling cow.

I'm sorry you have had a sad event in your life OP, and that you are feeling vulnerable. But passing out with stress over this is a massive overreaction and either there is something very wrong (please get checked out) or else you need to get ahold of yourself. Block these people and move on with your life, their drama has nothing to do with you. There is no need for your husband or your dad (wtf??) to go round there ranting and raving. Just block and when you are feeling stronger tell them they crossed a line an the friendship is done.

I’m so sorry.

and I agree - no friend uses another tragic circumstances as their alibi to be shagging someone else. That’s utterly disrespectful.

Id get DP to give them both barrels then black them both. Don’t even wait for a reply.

Hey OP, I also had a miscarriage last weekend at 8weeks. I've never known such pain and grief. I also feel incredibly wobbly and faint-I've been told it's totally normal. Your iron levels may be low and the amount of blood you've lost will also affect how you feel. It's absolutely ok to feel how you're feeling, there's no way I could have coped emotionally with what your friend has done either. Those accusing you of being over the top and dramatic can do one, this place is such a nest of bitches sometimes.

Look after yourself. Rest and make sure you're eating well. And get your dh to deal with any external nonsense that will distress you until you feel ready to cope with it. It's ok to take space to grieve. Big hugs xxxx

That’s truly horrific. Block them both on everything forever and blank if you ever see them again. Silence speaks volumes.
so very sorry for your loss ❤️

Bloody hell there are some people with empathy bypasses here. I have very little tolerance for drama but anyone with a brain cell could work out why the OP may have experienced a trauma response.

1. She’s bleeding heavily and grieving her loss.
2. her best friend lied and said she was with her but instead was hooked up with someone else
3. the husband came round and was abusive while the OP was in a vulnerable state.

The OP who needs kindness and compassion. The blame here lies firmly with her friend and husband for being abusive towards a grieving and poorly woman.

An anxiety attack caused by stress can easily do that.