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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think there's an awful attitude on MN to cosmetic procedures?

276 replies

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:47

Morning all.
trying not to make this a taat. There is a current thread running about a woman who had 0.5 lip filler, and her husband isn't happy about it. The comments are filled with bitchy, nasty women tearing her down.
multiple women on here say that anyone with cosmetic procedures looks 'fake, like a blow up doll, like a prostitute, like a duck, trout pout' and the list goes on. The comments are abhorrent. Yes, there are some very bad / botched jobs out there. But so many posters say 'filler never looks good, you can always tell' etc etc. you wouldn't notice good filler, that's the point. You will evidently notice bad filler.

cosmetic prosecutes can be invaluable to people. I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer at 23, gruelling chemotherapy sapped every single bit of life out of my face. I aged overnight. I've had cosmetic work done to my face to try and get a bit of normality back, it's been a godsend for me. No amount of therapy or counselling would've done that. And some people don't want therapy or counselling! Some people aren't doing it to be vein, some are like me and doing it for my reasons. Also, so what if people are doing it for vanity! It's so nice to read the assumption that I look like a blow up doll, and that I look fake. Without even seeing my face and without knowing what I've been through.

AIBU to think this whole 'trout pout, every woman with filler looks like XYZ' is just horrible? The comments on the other thread are nothing short of bullying.

if you're one that judges so badly on what other people do, why? Why do you care? If you do judge, you are not on some sort of morale high ground because you're 'au natural.'

OP posts:
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lightinthebox · 01/06/2025 08:51

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PersephoneParlormaid · 01/06/2025 08:53

Are you basing this on one thread, because I can’t see it being a general attitude?
There are some people who look ridiculous IMO, but if you like it, go for it. It doesn’t bother me. Ive asked on here about Invisalign and blepharoplasty, and never had any negative responses.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:55

PersephoneParlormaid · 01/06/2025 08:53

Are you basing this on one thread, because I can’t see it being a general attitude?
There are some people who look ridiculous IMO, but if you like it, go for it. It doesn’t bother me. Ive asked on here about Invisalign and blepharoplasty, and never had any negative responses.

Edited

No, I'm basing it off any singular thread that mentions Botox and fillers.

constantly a stream of miserable women desperate to mock and bully someone for their cosmetic choices.
I posted (under a different UN) about getting composite bonding veneers and received a huge amount of hate, assuming I wanted turkey teeth. I wanted nothing of the sort.

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KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 01/06/2025 08:55

Amazing that modern cosmetic/maxillo facial surgery can do wonderful things for people recovering from trauma/illness.

Gently though, this is entirely different from young women who are choosing to pump their perfectly fine faces, perhaps under some strange desire to copy others. It does make me feel sad when I see it.

Both things can be true.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:57

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Completely agree.

I don't think these women would be so bashful to anyone's faces. Typical bullies!

OP posts:
StepawayfromtheLindors · 01/06/2025 08:57

Put it another way: why is there pressure from social media for women to look a certain way? Maybe MN users are trying to challenge this. Cosmetic procedures have become very normalised to the point where young women look at their faces and just see problems that need to be fixed.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:57

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 01/06/2025 08:55

Amazing that modern cosmetic/maxillo facial surgery can do wonderful things for people recovering from trauma/illness.

Gently though, this is entirely different from young women who are choosing to pump their perfectly fine faces, perhaps under some strange desire to copy others. It does make me feel sad when I see it.

Both things can be true.

Oh of course! It that's kind of my point.
the comments on the post state 'no one looks good with filler / Botox' - so someone like me would come under that camp. When all I was trying to do was restore some life back into my face after cancer and chemotherapy.

OP posts:
Koazy · 01/06/2025 08:57

Yes the majority hate it but you know what? I dint give a single fuck. My lip filler looks GREAT. Glad procedures have helped you too

LoafofSellotape · 01/06/2025 08:58

I'm sorry you had cancer but it's ok not to like plastic surgery. A friend had 0.5 filler and it really changed her whole face and not for the good, such a subtle tweak threw everything off. I hope your recovery continues well, just don't read the thread if it's upsetting you x

StepawayfromtheLindors · 01/06/2025 08:58

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:57

Completely agree.

I don't think these women would be so bashful to anyone's faces. Typical bullies!

Bashful??? 😅

Chewooky · 01/06/2025 08:58

I think a lot of people on MN don't get out much or arent overly social so only see extremes of stuff and therefore their comments are extreme. A bit of lip filler or botox is barely noticeable if its done by a reputable practicioner and the person is after an enhancement of their features and arent attempting an overhaul- far more people than people realise have this. The language used is probably from jealous, bitter women mind, be different if it was commentary on societal pressures etc but it rarely is.

Namechangedformyanswer · 01/06/2025 08:58

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Have a look at X, it's a cesspit.

I don't think believing in sex based rights and biological reality is bullying.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:59

Koazy · 01/06/2025 08:57

Yes the majority hate it but you know what? I dint give a single fuck. My lip filler looks GREAT. Glad procedures have helped you too

Yes you're right!
(someone will be long to tell us we should I've spent that money on counselling and therapy for our low self esteem issues🤣)

OP posts:
PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:59

StepawayfromtheLindors · 01/06/2025 08:57

Put it another way: why is there pressure from social media for women to look a certain way? Maybe MN users are trying to challenge this. Cosmetic procedures have become very normalised to the point where young women look at their faces and just see problems that need to be fixed.

You can challenge something without being a bully.
of you have to resort to bullying someone to say your point, you've completely lost all argument.

OP posts:
Sherararara · 01/06/2025 09:00

There’s an awful attitude on MN to a lot of things. MN is a bubble and in many ways not at all representative of real life.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:00

LoafofSellotape · 01/06/2025 08:58

I'm sorry you had cancer but it's ok not to like plastic surgery. A friend had 0.5 filler and it really changed her whole face and not for the good, such a subtle tweak threw everything off. I hope your recovery continues well, just don't read the thread if it's upsetting you x

Of course! I don't expect everyone to like it.
But women can like it without bullying others about it.

just live and let live?

(and im not upset, btw)

OP posts:
Endiof · 01/06/2025 09:00

I have seen these threads on style and beauty and they are ok, maybe the horrible ones are in AIBU

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:01

Namechangedformyanswer · 01/06/2025 08:58

Have a look at X, it's a cesspit.

I don't think believing in sex based rights and biological reality is bullying.

I'm not on about sex based rights. I'm on about 'you look like a prostitute, you look like a duck, you look like a blow up doll and fake and plastic' - without the OP even showing her face.

I think people are missing the point.

OP posts:
Smallsalt · 01/06/2025 09:01

It's the same about weight loss injections.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:02

Sherararara · 01/06/2025 09:00

There’s an awful attitude on MN to a lot of things. MN is a bubble and in many ways not at all representative of real life.

Inclined to agree.

half of the people on here cower at the fact they have a doorbell and it rings.

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Growlling · 01/06/2025 09:02

The problem is, lips with filler look fucking awful. That’s probably what’s behind the comments.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:02

Endiof · 01/06/2025 09:00

I have seen these threads on style and beauty and they are ok, maybe the horrible ones are in AIBU

Yes, I think this one was.

AIBU doesn't give people permission to bully others though.

OP posts:
PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:03

Growlling · 01/06/2025 09:02

The problem is, lips with filler look fucking awful. That’s probably what’s behind the comments.

Well, you've probably only noticed and seen bad filler.

good filler goes undetected.

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IdiottoGoa · 01/06/2025 09:03

PersephoneParlormaid · 01/06/2025 08:53

Are you basing this on one thread, because I can’t see it being a general attitude?
There are some people who look ridiculous IMO, but if you like it, go for it. It doesn’t bother me. Ive asked on here about Invisalign and blepharoplasty, and never had any negative responses.

Edited

OP is completely correct, there is a huge sense of this (particularly about the lips thing).

@PeachSundae , I’m not a fan of the look when it’s done to an extreme level or by not very good practitioners but I think you’re right that the reaction is very extreme. As @lightinthebox MN is full of women who are very happy to tear eachother down. I’m probably guilty of it myself sometimes and saying things I wouldn’t normally say because it’s not face to face.

Your thread is a good reminder of why that’s a twatty thing to do.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:03

Smallsalt · 01/06/2025 09:01

It's the same about weight loss injections.

Yep I've seen those too.

why do people care so much about what women do to their bodies?

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